I’m coming to terms with the fact I’m really very ugly

Manifest my arse.

Why can't people in Gaza maifest a good life?

OP, maybe start with one thing. The teeth , you can get interest free credit. My teeth are appalling but at 68 and broke, its too late for me. fee fre to DM for a chat.

No, it doesn't. The NHS qualification for braces is aesthetic. One of my daughters had an overbite that qualified for NHS treatment. The other had a less pronounced overbite that didn't.

And if people decided against having kids on the basis that in twelve years' time they might not be able to afford braces for their teeth, we could start knocking down primary schools tomorrow.

In that case it wasn't a professional therapist / psychologist you were speaking to.

You can join a walking group and meet new people who also like walking, you can use your baking skills to bake for a charity like free cakes for kids or the cake initiative both great charities or you can offer to bake for charity cake fairs. You can join a sports club or a friendship club where people watch sports together. Don't focus on meeting a partner focus on meeting new people through things you love.

I haven't seen you but I know you don't look the same after losing 150ibs that is impossible.
if you look around you will see that not every couple is conventionally beautiful what makes people stay together is personality and shared interests .
The issue is not what you look like but your depression, and your perception of yourself.

I'm your age too, I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way, I know this really must really take a toll on your mental health.

My teeth have always been a huge insecurity too but a few years ago I decided to do Invisalign on a monthly payment plan (I also wasn't eligible for NHS braces as a teen and my family couldn't afford them privately) - this is one of the best things I ever did for my self esteem. I get so many compliments on my teeth now and I always used to feel insecure when speaking. Is this something you could do?

This is why I asked the question about private therapy as you agree the terms, boundaries and tackle one issue at a time

You are clearly so lacking in self esteem that you are talking shit about yourself.

You have 2 degrees in criminology and law yet don't think you're that intelligent? Are you joking?

You definitely need therapy to work in your self esteem. You can even get self help books that focus on self esteem and confidence.

No-one here is going to agree with you that you are ugly, fat, unintelligent etc as that is clearly not true and is just how you perceive yourself.

Honestly your negativity does seem to jump off the page and you dismissed every suggestion people made . I think it's clear you are deeply depressed and I would go to your gp and insist on help.

Lots of us here are average . No amazing talents , plodding along day to day in jobs that we don't love but pay the bills but still manage to find joy in the small things. You don't be able to do that.
loads of dentists offer payment plans now for dental treatment . Take an advanced bakery class and develop that skill, volunteer as a cookery instructor at a charity .

park the romantic part a while and work on just meeting new friends.
No one can change your life except you.

Sorry also another question, are you up for volunteering?
My much missed mum always used to say when you are feeling low or sorry for yourself, helping someone else (even if you feel like you are the one who needs help) is the best medicine
Would you give that a try?

You had bereavement therapy and they told you to lose weight? And nothing else?

OP are you in a position to pay or get a loan for private therapy?

I didn't say that.

I said you have responded to many people who have been kind and caring yet not once have you said thank you or sympathised with anyone else who is also struggling.

I thought I couldn’t afford surgery.

I put it on my credit card and then just paid it off. It was $5,000 out of pocket.

You could travel to Turkey and get braces and a nose job.

You’re too young to give up.

Do you have a job?

I'm sorry you feel this way. It must be depressing when there are several things about your appearance your not happy with. But feel you can't change.

I know nobody is perfect and you sound like you've done a great achievement by losing lots of weight. I hope things improve for you. X

Advice from another ugly person here - find yourself something you are good at. You are very young yet and you haven't had the chance, but honestly, find your 'niche'. When you find what you can really do (it might take a bit of work to get there, mind) you will gain confidence. If it can be a social activity, so much the better, but even if it's knitting great sweaters, or turning your garden into a riot of colour - do it. It will help you get out there, even if it's a solitary activity you can join a club or go to meetings, conventions, conferences.

This isn't with the purpose of meeting a man, this is to raise yourself in your own eyes. When you can look at other people and think 'yeah, you might be beautiful, but do you know your dog rose from your damask rose?' you will feel better.

Incidentally, I really am ugly. 'Not well favoured' as people used to say. 'Handsome' at my very best on a very good day. But I've been married several times because I met men who looked beyond the physical - and I worked hard to gain a wee bit of charisma and sparkle.

Plus, of course, we don't have the agonies of losing our looks as we age. Once you're past fifty the playing field levels amazingly.

Just my experience. Hope it helps.

I share your pain on the hair. I am deeply envious of people with thick heads of hair (no matter the hair type.)

Regarding teeth - when I got mine done (2nd set of braces after having them as a teen) I was able to get finance from the dentist. The payment broken down over just under a year but zero interest. I found that helped immensely - are there any dentists that do that?

I don’t get people who think gaps or crooked teeth “add character”.

I was told that when I went for my second set of braces. Apparently my gap “added character” and was “cute”. When in reality it looked awful!

Also share your pain on being fat. I have done many many things in my life but weight loss is the biggest challenge. Not simply physically but mentally.

Don’t know what words of support to offer except to maybe if you want to date - get more involved in activities and groups?

I genuinely think OLD works better for people closer to a societal beauty standard. I think that for those of us don’t it’s not really useful. Organically meeting people is better.

A therapist is certainly not going to tell you to lose (or gain) weight. Have you ever actually had any therapy?

You have been given kind and truthfulness sincere messages of support and advice but you reject them just like how I imagine you reject interested men. You are your own enemy.

I don’t want the “fittest” men. All I want is someone kind. But when I say nobody is interested, I mean nobody is interested

im not trying to be unkind here b but as other pp have said, your constant negativity is a turn off. Unless you show a drastically different side to your personality when you’re chatting to men, it’s that, not your looks, that’s putting them off (presumably they’ve seen your photo before they message you in the first place?!)

On the personal development side- I'd recommend speaking with someone, maybe consider some CBT or talking therapy.
and go for walks. It's amazing what that can do for your soul

OP the only really unattractive thing about you is your relentless negativety.

Get a wig, see a dentist and pay by instalments, carry on with the weight loss.

But first and foremost GET THERAPY because whatever you look like, however beautiful physically, your attitude will put people right off.
Misery is never, ever, an attractive trait.

This person said it all. The reply again is defensive. Why ask for advice but don’t take anything on board.