I’m coming to terms with the fact I’m really very ugly

You are sounding very defeatist. You’ve still got weight to lose… what’s stopping that from happening? Go to the GP and tell them about your issues, get more therapy.. what’s the worst that will happen? It will be rubbish again? But what’s the best? That it might actually help!

Get the quote for your teeth. Find out about payment plans. Get a loan, save up or ask your parents for a loan.

Yep - totally agree. Many many people have taken the time to reply and you haven't once said thanks. Of course you don't need to send 200+'individual notes of thanks, but every single comment/ reply you have written on this thread basically just argues with whatever someone has said.

you are clearly very low and I don't mean to kick you whilst you're down, but I would bet my house that it's your total lack of self-esteem, coupled with being totally self-absorbed (not in a horrible way, but you cannot see beyond your negative feelings) that is holding you back. Not your looks.

When you talk to people in real life, do you thank them for comments and compliments? Smile at them? Thank them for their perspective or suggestion or share yours in a healthy discussion, or do you shut down every single comment someone makes?

it's like someone said why not consider volunteering abroad. Rather than 'thanks but not really my thing, I'm a bit of a homebody,' or 'ooh I haven't considered that, thanks, I might do some research' your response was 'what for? I have no skills.'

that constant negativity and shutting conversation down can't be helping your relationships with friends / family / colleagues and you generally feeling happy.

Cheerful people with a good sense of humour are always attractive, and will enjoy life, even if they are conventionally plug ugly.

OK - we can't see you, so I'm not going to give empty assurances - but it sounds like your teeth are particularly bothering you, so is that something you could save for, ask for all Christmas / birthday gifts to be money towards and maybe get sorted eventually, even if you have to save for years? You could aim to do it as a 30th birthday present to yourself?

Hair - I don't know. Have you tried it very short? Experiment with hair scarves?

Clothes - people can look amazing at any size. Follow some larger bodied fashion influencers and experiment with shape and colour. You don't have to dress in a "flattering" way - you can put two fingers up to that and dress in an interesting way, with shapes and colours that make you happy.

If you are trying to squeeze yourself in to a very narrow definition of "beauty" (ie. what's currently fashionable), it sounds like you will always be miserable, as you don't happen to possess the physical characteristics that we arbitrarily classify as desirable in 2025. Sucks, but that's true for many many people. If you were extremely rich, you could modify your body to fit the mould if you really wanted to. But the rest of us just have to find a way to work with what we've got - and, crucially, OWN it. Allow yourself to look interesting - show up as that - and you might find you attract more interesting and engaging people than you'd get with a Kardashian hourglass figure and lip filler...

The thing that really stands out from your post and subsequent comments is your low self esteem, and your easy dismissal of some major achievements. You had great exam grades (presumably at a state school?), you have two degrees in serious subjects, you had the guts to career change - yet you describe yourself as not being intelligent?

This might sound naff, but I think you need to find something to do that takes the focus away from your appearance and helps other people - is there a way to volunteer for a charity / local organisation using your legal experience? The aim being not to help others (although that's a nice side impact), but to help your own sense of self. That voluntary work might lead to other, different voluntary work - to expanding your social circle, to who knows what...

Or if that doesn't appeal, is there some other thing you've always fancied learning that you could start in 2026? Baking courses, upholstery, acting, pottery - whatever! I think you just need to start taking some action - any action - to shake things up a bit. You can't force meeting someone romantically, but you can fill your life and put yourself in the path of many more people.

You are still young. You are at the beginning, and you can choose what you want to value in life.

Come on its time to pull yourself together and stop moaning.

No matter what people say to you you have a negative reply for everything.

OP you are most definitely not ugly! Honestly people are not seeing you the way you see yourself.

Teeth can be straightened, I got mine done in my thirties, go for it one day.

Generally considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, but she can't curl her hair either

Often said to be the most beautiful woman in the world probably because she CAN curl her hair?

Officially accepted as the most beautiful woman in the world

I could go on.

But I'll just stop at listing all the things that are right & wrong with you.

Right - Weight, Hair, Looks, Nose - in fact everything except .......

Wrong - Confidence & Attitude.

Unfortunately, Confidence & Attitude aren't easy, but that's all that you need to improve.

Best wishes

Can’t add much more than others have
just wanted to say wishing you well
2026 could be a fresh new start for you and I hope it is

You say you hated criminal law but is that the real issue? Because your academic achievements whilst not exceptional are v good and easily enough to be a criminal law solicitor.

weight/teeth/hair is cosmetic and potentially fixable

but YOU are your biggest issue

RuPaul kind of sums it up if you can’t love yourself how in the hell are you going to love somebody else

I will add to that how in the hell is someone going to love you.

you can’t expect people to love you when you clearly don’t - I suspect you are a perfectionist who has an idealised version of how someone should be, how they should look, how intelligent, confident etc that you always fall short of.

and because you fall short you doubt and hate yourself- and if you do that that is the version of you you project to the world so that is who people react to.

until you at least try and fix that, or accept who you are and start to love yourself

Why not?

Youre 26 and speak like your life is over. Its barely even started. You could achieve anything at 26.

I think some posters forget that saying 'NHS Band 2' means nothing to many of us.

I have no idea what that means in terms of salary - if it's a clinical role (assume not) or admin. But I assume it's not a high salary.

What I do know @AutumnLeavesandKnittedJumpers is that you can do better than what you're doing now unless you enjoy the work.

I'd suggest you talk to a career coach (many are qualified psychologists so they do have 'proper qualifications' ) and get some insight into what you want to do, and how to get there.

More income will help you in many ways so if you choose to, you can spend on your teeth, hair, and even your nose.

It won't sort out your underlying low self-worth but it will be a start of liking what you see in the mirror and that's a step in the right direction.

Can you join some likeminded people so you don’t hike and watch sport alone?
A walkers/ramblers/hiking group? Not necessarily to meet a man but so you don’t feel so alone?
What about a group who also watch the same sport?
Do you get on with people at work you could socialise with?
You sound very low and depressed, and it’s very hard to get motivated when you feel like this. Could you speak to your GP? Or self refer to counselling/ mental health support?

Get a bank loan and get the braces first. Spread the cost to something manageable. It’ll be a huge confidence boost. One thing at a time but I’d start there.

Get the braces. Do one thing and it will help.

Most people have 2k worth of stuff in their attic that they could sell. Do whatever you need to do to get your teeth sorted. You can do that one thing.

You need to find a good therapist you can connect with and be open and willing to listen.

So try again, only choose your own therapist, find someone good, and really work at it.

Hair wise..just try this once. Apply conditioner..the cheap argan oil in a tube from Poundland or any conditioner..to you dry hair and leave it on for half an hour. Then wash hair ..i use albert balsam from Aldi..then dry your hair. It should be better. Then use whatever curling option you have.

Hi OP, you seem super critical of yourself and need to love yourself without the validation of another person.
I have lots of amazing friends who are employed in the NHS on band 2 scale and they are really making a difference to the service.
As for baking, I am worse than useless myself and would love to be able to do this.
Congratulations on your amazing weight loss.
Please remember that most people aren't naturally beautiful in the conventional way and I don't like my early morning look at all like many others.
Step by step.
Skincare, nailcare, bubble bath, fresh air are all examples that can make us feel better.
Please take care and don't rely on a relationship to validate yourself.
You are you.

Well done on your weight loss. That's amazing 👏 There's a fasting group on here, I'm on. Or you can join another type if weight loss group on here. Being part of a community will help with the motivation. I fast a couple of days a week and it really helps with the weight loss. My neighbour has very fine hair and bought a good quality wig. She looks amazing now! It looks like her own hair and looks like it's had a blow out every morning! If you wanted to straighten out your teeth you could look into invisalign. They are less intrusive than braces. My friend had them done and could pay monthly. Her teeth took a year and look amazing now. Make sure you go for a walk each day, it does lift your mood and mental health. You are still so young! Only do these things if you want to for yourself, not or anyone else. I like improving myself as it makes me feel good.

evan supermodels hate bits of their body, well done on losing so much weight, average dress size is a 16, please be kind to your self smile dress to show off your good bits,you have lots, a kind heart, have a sense of humour be kind, please believe you not not ugly, take care of yourself xx

Seriously? Yes. Why? Because you know her or can advise better, I'd imagine.

This is a sad thread to read. You’re very young and a lot can change. Let’s be honest, some people are naturally more physically attractive than others and have an easier time but there are things you can do to improve things. I’m not pretty, I’m not fat but I have a long face small eyes and wonky teeth. I could have done something about the teeth but the other bits I can’t change. I also have thin fine hair. My advice would be to focus on what you can change. I do my hair as well as I can, wear colours that suit me and have found a style of dressing that suits me. I look as good as I can and then forget about it. Dating apps weren’t a thing in my day but if they had been I don’t doubt people would have scrolled past. I met people, including men by joining things I was interested in where they would be ( a rambling club, a political party etc). I just got involved and got to know people and eventually made relationships. I didn’t go there just to find a partner but I did. I suggest focusing on what you can change. Your achievements show that you’re intelligent so you could get experience to lead to a better job. I met one boyfriend volunteering ( he did painfully dump me but that happens to people, attractive or not). I agree that some therapy is expensive and rubbish, look at CBT online. Continue with getting to a weight you’re happy with, get nice clothes, make a plan for a job you would be interested in. I’m older now and I would have liked to be pretty but I have had a very happy life in spite of having a face I wouldn’t have chosen. Some people are unkind but would you really want to associate with them. Accept what you can’t change but change what you can. Good luck. PS don’t make the mistake of going out with just anyone and being grateful for crumbs, you’re better off on your own. You deserve someone who truly cares for you

The negativity to every suggestion is exhausting here. If OP won the lottery, it wouldn't improve anything. You won't find a boyfriend this way. So find someone to unravel your mental health issues.

I'm bowing out now and hopefully this thread has helped someone.

Seriously?