I’m coming to terms with the fact I’m really very ugly

Agree with everything everybody above has said, and just wanted to add something.

There was a certain aspect of my body that I struggled with for years and, over time, caused me to have really low confidence. Eventually, I had costmetic surgery to correct it. I admit, it has really helped me with my confidence in that particular area of my body. However, I now focus on other things I don't like about myself. I now notice that my nose is really long. And my teeth aren't as nice as they once were. And my hairline is awful. And I hate being in photos because of all of these reasons. Before my surgery, I didn't even notice them, because I was too focused on my other issue.
My point is, my main issue is self-esteem. I will always find something to not like about myself because I don't have enough self-esteem, even after spending 6k I had to take out in loans to fix what I thought was the problem!
Your posts make it clear that your issue is self-esteem, you talk down on your entire self, not just looks but your job and your hobby. You've done amazing to lose 150lb but can't see it yourself. I agree with what the pp said re the dating apps, you are matching with men, so they must like what they see. They are probably picking up on your low confidence. Try to work through that first x

Bless you. It doesn’t need to stay that way though. There are plenty of mid, to plus size influencers on TikTok and instagram for style inspiration. Do remember that true beauty comes from within. Try to look after yourself, and the improved confidence will come but you must be kind and encouraging, not self critical and mean. That won’t help you, OP

Nobody is laughing at you in the gym. I've been a gym goer for nearly 20 years, in cities all over the UK, from cheapest council stuff to the poshest private ones, with gym goers of every description. Nobody laughs, everyone is welcome.

Maybe you aren't stunningly beautiful, neither am I, neither are most people. Sounds like most of the physical issues are fixable but that the real issue is psychological. That'll hold you back like nothing else.

OP get the therapy. I mean the chance of any of us here being exceptional, in any way at all, is minimal but that is very much not the point. To be a person is to be good enough. You won’t be happy until you accept that.

Don’t like your teeth then get your own payment plan and fix them. That is easy enough and other than that focus on friends and fun. What do you like - work it out and do more of it. Build friends and activities and from there build your world .You have so much time and once you believe you matter the rest will become easier.

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so low about yourself. I would say you urgently need to do some work on how to build up some self esteem starting with how you speak to yourself / about yourself. It’s not easy but you need to think would you ever say all those things you are saying about yourself about a friend - I’m assuming the answer is no, so why are you saying them to yourself? Life is hard enough you need to be your own best friend. Even if you can’t bring yourself to say what you like about yourself physically right now you could start with “I’m a kind person” “I’m a reliable friend” “I work hard” etc. start trying to see yourself in a more positive light even if it’s baby steps. I’d really recommend this workbook below I’m not massively into self help books but I found it really great. I hope you start feeling better soon. I also agree with others that it sounds like you might be depressed and it would be worth visiting your GP and or seeking talk therapy. Making that step is hard but it will be worth it in the long run I promise you.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Meet-Your-Self-Nicole-LePera/dp/1398710733/ref=ascdf1398710733?mcid=6d2dc23e05fb39e2b8cd4e2788edfc30&th=1&psc=1&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=697270414247&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13928392495249303933&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9222618&hvtargid=pla-1674746733963&psc=1&hvocijid=13928392495249303933-1398710733-&hvexpln=0&gadsource=1

You sound really low - like, depression level low. I wonder if you need help from your GP.

On the romantic side, like other people have said, if you focus on you and your confidence, successful relationships will follow - but you really need to work on that and on being at peace with yourself before stressing out about being single. You're sooo young - I wonder what you're great at that you haven't discovered yet?

Also - the internet is a brutal place to try to find a man; you're far from alone in having no luck. That's dating in the modern world, not you. x

That quote, white sweet, doesn't help a 26 year old who is worrying about her attractiveness.

Your mum is talking shit. I’m 54 and had my teeth fixed as a kid. Please get some counselling, you are way too negative about yourself and this comes from neglect.

You can pay monthly for Invisalign, it is sooo worth it. Highly recommend.

If they can't afford it they can't afford kids! And OP said she didn't qualify for them on the NHS, which presumably means the family's income was high enough not to qualify.

I think there’s nothing wrong with a glow up if it’s going to contribute to improved self-esteem.

While surgery and dental work may be out of reach for you - is there anything else you could consider that will improve how you look / feel about yourself? Extensions? Hair pieces? Make up? Some flattering clothing? Gym membership or a fitness class? Invisalign could be affordable in the future by the way if you were to do it on a payment plan. Maybe that could incentivise you to progress in your employment.

I have thinning hair due to PCOS so I understand how you feel - hair is such a big thing for us ladies, it’s part of our identity and a symbol of beauty. I’m considering treatment or a topper.

On top of the above, I’d also try to exercise some self-compassion and kindness towards yourself, and therapy could be beneficial. You could consider some NHS therapy for self esteem?

Come on…you have a career, a steady income and one life! Concentrate on making it the best you can, maybe good enough to share one day. with someone if they’re lucky enough. Male company often comes when you aren’t looking.

I bet you’re lovely. Well done in the weight loss. What else are you going to do to help yourself? Replace your worries with action.
No one who matters is looking at you at the gym, but if you not comfortable there start going for a half hour walk every night 15 mins there and back. It will help boost your mood. Take an interest in your surroundings. Do a different kind of exercise - dance, yoga free stuff online.
I got braces at the same time as my teenagers and it was the best thing ever. Talk to a good orthodontist. They can do wonders and offer payment plans.

Do you take a good multi vitamin? Bs and D hugely helpful with low mood.
Go to a different hairdresser and take their advice.
Volunteer, focus on other people, challenge yourself to do something different every week to find new interests and fun (library, exhibitions, charity events whatever in your area)
The world needs you.

I’m in my thirties now. Had lots of ups and downs. But I can remember being your age and nit picking everything about my appearance . Every flaw was the reason why I wasn’t happy.

Maybe it’s because I had so much shit happen in my late 20’s, I soon stopped caring . Of all the things to worry about, it wasn’t my appearance . With age and life experience, you’ll stop seeing it as the big issue you think it is.

I also wouldn’t worry about men on dating sites. They aren’t a good judge of attractiveness.

Steve g jones, clinical hypnotherapist has a website where you can download I hypnosis CD on self-esteem. I Found that great.

It's not neglect to not pay for private braces, bloody hell. There are many, many families who couldn't afford that.

That is bullshit of your mother. You are 26 so unless she was very old when she had you, she is full of shit. I am 42 and had my crooked teeth fixed. Frankly, I think they should pay for them as they had no business not paying for them when you were growing up. However, there is no way to oblige them to do so, so could you save and have them done yourself? I remember how I hated my crooked teeth as a teen and was so much happier when they were fixed.

I have never seen anyone who is ugly. Sure some people are better looking than others but no-one is ugly.
You need to work on your self confidence more than anything. Keep yourself looking nice. Perhaps see a hair dresser who can advise on a cut/colour etc to suit your hair type. Keep at it with the healthy eating and hiking. Treat yourself to a new outfit and go and get your nails done. Perhaps see a MUA for tips on make -up.
Try and meet people for friendship first. Dont expect to find a romantic partner straight away.

Roald Dahl: "A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."

I feel so sad for op too - l bet her friends amd colleagues have got lovely things to say about her.

If you enjoy hiking OP I would suggest joining a local walking group. I had similar self esteem issues in the past and meeting lots of new friends really made a difference for me. Also getting outside is good for your brain.

I know it doesn't seem like a fix when your mind is pointing out everything that is wrong with you but perhaps give it a try.

Yabvu

Girl I was in the same boat as you at 26. My mh was at 0 and I hated myself and the way I looked. Now at 33 I am angry about the 20s I lost due to insecurity and others bullying and put downs.

You're only 26! Thats so young!

Your only life project right now is you. You you you.

What have you always wanted to improve? Teeth is doable. There are financial plans and options.

You've lost a huge amount of weight. Well done!! Take your time to lose only enough so that you feel comfortable.

But size 16 to 18 isnt huge.

What do you like to do on your days off? Can you pick a new habit? Going to museums or the cinema alone. Going out for an evening to a music venue alone. Just to figure out who you are.

Not having had a relationship isnt a huge deal anymore. Loads of people are in the same boat.

Ive never had a relationship. Ive had situationships and worse but never been in love.

For me, my focus is on losing my weight and becoming Carrie Bradshaw! Thats my 2026 project 🙂

Sorry ive rambled but you are not alone and you ARE FUCKING NOT UGLY!

Please don't read too much into men on online dating. For gods sake don't take validation from them. My mate is on the apps right now and shes getting endless men who want to chat or sex talk but no proper dates. I suspect they're mostly married men. I doubt you look anywhere near as bad as you claim, but I can't see you. I can however see my friend and she's lovely but still getting all the douchebags on the dating sites.