Is this now normal 8/9 year old girl behaviour?

It’s their mothers that’ll have contributed towards this attitude. What 8/9 year old would know of Sephora otherwise.

Sadly true in the case of both my daughters. Absolutely heartbreaking and both were in single year classes at school. I just could never work out why they had that behaviour, growing up and conforming is soo hard. The obvious reason would be insecurity on their part but I still can’t fathom the nature of the how and why. Teaching children kindness, acceptance and empathy is so underrated. It comes from carers/parents/ teachers/ other adults and society in general.
sadly bullying tactics go and grow into adulthood when it’s never addressed and changed at a very young age. It’s a no brainer to install kind values at any age and it being age appropriate. Not rocket science . My experience of especially my neurodivergent daughter being on the receiving end. Awful for any child or adult to feel shunned

The wee girls in my sons class (age 8 and 9) have phones, they send each other absolutely vile messages, wear skin tight leggings as trousers and are wearing blush, gloss and concealer. Its absolutely wild to me, I still played with Barbies til I was about 13!

I can relate to everything you've said there, OP. My DD is Yr 4 and her 'best friend' has turned exactly like this. It began at the end of Yr 3.

They were arseholes to each other when my 23 year old was that age.

when I was that age, I had my fair share of nastiness. Kids can just be pricks to each other (and so can adults).

And yes it was the girl who seemed to have unlimited access to Tiktok who was the problem..

I think he's at a bit of a crossroads unfortunately. He's always played with the girls rather than boys so doesn't have any good boy friends. All the girls are now changing, arguing, bitching and he can't relate anymore, hoping he will make more boy friends soon!
These were lovely little girls that I've had many days out with and now they are snapchatting, being really nasty about each other, make up etc, just acting a lot older than they should be IMO

Ive got a year 6 girl, luckily she has a lovely little group of friends and they all stick together. But some of the other girls are constantly falling out and being horrible to each other. The skincare and make up has been ongoing since year 4 with certain girls. Unfortunately I think some of the parents encourage it as they want their children to be seen as more grown up, these are also the girls who got mobile phones before everyone else. Apparently there's been a year group what's app group going since year 4 which has been full of bullying and girls being horrible.

Yeah unfortunately DD had problems at that age with "frenemy" classmates. It was an awful time, she was so miserable.

She was saved by the COVID lockdowns, which gave her an escape, afterwards she was a little bit olderband wiser, and had made friends with other kids via online gaming so she was not bothered so much.

Not at our school
(Private school if that’s relevant)

Y4 was bad, Y5 is worse. Lots of the girls are getting phones, tiktok, skincare and makeup. DD isn't allowed any of the above. It's caused massive divisions between the girls in the class. Mind you the parents aren't any better based on the class WhatsApp. I've left it on permanent mute recently because it's just one ridiculous drama after the next.

My daughter is in Y4 too. She’s getting a little bit more sassy at home but definitely no comments about dirty looks from friends, crop tops or skincare. Girls in her class all seem to be on good terms with each other too. I hope it continues this way until Y13! 😆

So most then😅

I think girls this age can be a bit twatish to each other. You have some that are pushing to be more grown up while others are happy playing with more childish things and then you have the dynamics of them trying to find their way without having fully developed emotions or social skills. I think this age always has the potential to be a bit challenging socially.

The grown up look is a different set of issues and can be quite peer group specific. I remember being really shocked to go to an NCT friend’s child’s party at 7 and the girls were dressed quite differently to the girls at my daughter’s class. I couldn’t really put my finger on it as both classes had kids in sequins and party dresses but one set was shorter and tighter and a bit more grown up looking and the other more child like.

Year 4-6 is often a tricky time for girls, with changing friendships and heightened emotions. Obviously not all girls but yes I think it is a thing at the end of primary.

@CoralOP I also have a yr 6 boy. He sits with a few girls in the class and he is equally bemused by the conversation. On the way home he tells me all the tea he's heard. Who's dating, who's in a feud.

Fortunately there is none of this in my daughter’s class! She’s into Minecraft and doesn’t seem to stick out at all. She’s even got a Minecraft school bag!

I think part of the problem is a lot of these girls act like teens. My 9 year old still loves playing with her dolls and Barbies and riding her bike. For many of the girls in her class it's all about make up, skincare, fashion and boys. My daughter is often called a baby or wierd because she doesn't get her brows shaped and she's not wearing the ' right's clothes.

My son is in year 6 and there's constant fights, bullying accusations, fall outs etc within the girls in his class.
A lot of his friends are girls and he doesn't understand what they are fighting about most of the time.
Even his teacher mentioned that girls were a big problem at the minute in our recent parents evening.
Sorry I don't know how you change any of it, they can be brutal.

Not make up or sexy clothes. But some cattiness certainly. It's all K Pop with our two

Never had this with my girl or any girls in her class (year 4)

I never had this with either of my girls. Admittedly they are mid teens now but this sort of behaviour didn't start until high school.

We found our hardest years were 4, 6, 7, 9, 11

Yes my yr 4 daughter is having a horrible time this year. Up to this year school had been plain sailing but this year is awful it's something everyday. My daughter is no angel and she will stick up for herself but some of the kids girls and boys are just mean. Some of the parents in this yrs class are also way to involved in the kids drama which I think fuels it more.