Is this now normal 8/9 year old girl behaviour?

It's not strange. They are kids and should be allowed to be kids. Mine is 8 and doesn't watch PP, but does like Bluey, Grizzly and the lemmings, Puffin rock and Hey Duggee (as well as some bits for older kids).

I have boys, but I clearly remember friends with daughters having issues from quite early on in primary. I remember been shocked that it started so young 🙁

Whatever about the teddy rabbit thing, and 8 year old watching peppa is out of the norm unless ND. Not worth bullying anyone about but her peers will find it strange because it is strange.

When my daughter was at primary school thinking back it was around the same age she and her friends had a spate of falling out with each other over silly things.
They had a fantastic teacher and she assured me it was a sort of rite of passage.
My daughter went on to be a primary teacher herself and she noticed the same behaviour around year 4/5 with the girls.
My son and his friends however never had any issues he still has the same friends he was at nursery with.
It's a girl thing.

Thanks for starting this thread, OP, it’s so helpful to see what others are experiencing.

My DD is 9 and in year 5. The mean girl behaviour in the class started last year, and it’s been very tricky.

DD has suspected ASD and ADHD so I’ve been thinking it’s sort of down to her not navigating the social stuff as well as she might but reading this thread makes me realise it’s just generally difficult!

Thankfully there’s only one girl in the class into make up and skincare (pushed by her mum, who calls my DD ‘a tomboy’ 🙄), and it hasn’t taken off at all among the others.

However, it’s a very screen/device heavy class and there is almost no socialising that’s not screen-based. Most kids seem to be past toys altogether. We’re quite low screens for our kids, who don’t have their own devices, so that’s a hard one to navigate.

My grand daughter is 7 and has had this type of bullying aimed at her already!

I remember the horribleness of girls that age from when I was a kid and I’m 45 now!

the skincare obsession is new though and I think stems from TikTok

My niece is 8 and the girls in her year are horrible.

At home/with family she loves her cuddles. She loves to curl up, watch a bit of peppa and Bluey, she still sleeps with her bunny every night.

At school she’s a different person because the ring leader of her group has decided cuddly toys are baby-ish and they’re all into Sephora and makeup.

It’s absolutely awful and makes my heart hurt for her. Sadly her mum has decided that this girl is someone she wants my niece to be friends with as the girl’s family have a bit of money and they’re quite well to do.

Having observed that age of girls going through cubs over the years I tend to disagree. Snide comments, jostling about social position, telling endless tales to each other and adults about what friend A said to friend B about friend C etc are all common in that age range and it’s not one or two “nasty” kids doing it to the “nice” ones it’s most of them doing it but certainly not all the time. Then helpfully several of the girls who also do these things will chime in with you can’t say/do that to Amelia (or whoever), that’s bullying, you are a mean bully and I’m telling which then starts a whole new set of jostling about social position. It’s not absolutely every child but it’s the vast majority of the girls and actually a decent portion of the boys join in too. They then all go home and tell their parents it’s the other kids without mentioning they were joining in. Honestly most of the time whatever the initial comment some kid makes is pretty innocuous and it’s the telling everyone about it and bickering about who is in the wrong that escalates things to people being actually mean 🤦🏼‍♀️

It does start at this age, escalates in year 5 and 6 and often continues well into high school.
I had boys, some of the stories they used to tell me…

op, what you’re describing is just bullying.
make up- yes there are 8-9 year olds into make up and yes Sephora is popular, but the behaviour you’re describing is NOT acceptable /normal. It’s mean and bullying. You definitely need to speak to the teacher.

There was a bit of a 50/50 split when both of my kids were about that age. A good half of the girls would be like that. These girls tended to have older sisters. My daughter was asking for spike and squishmallows for her birthday and other girls were asking for designer clothing and designer make up, getting their nails done and having pamper parties. It seemed like these girls were being massively influenced by their older sisters. Thankfully my eldest couldn’t give a sh** about what is fashionable and what isn’t. She’s autistic and point blank refuses to wear named clothing. So when her younger sister was at that age she didn’t have the older sister influence. It could be older cousins as well. Or even mothers who love to dress up their girls and do their hair and make up. The fashion conscious mums.

I run a brownie unit and we have a bit of a mix with the older ones. There can be some mean looks and comments which we need to nip in the bud. The very trendy fashion conscious girls are more likely to quit before their leaving age. Not all but some.

I also have friends who I see sharing their photos on Facebook of joining the queue of several hours when Sephora opened near us and ‘complaining’ that their child cost them a fortune when they went in.

I recall when my youngest was in nursery a few of the children in my older daughter’s class were donating their dolls etc to the nursery because they had grown out of them - they would have been y2/3 at that age and I was shocked as my oldest was still wanting to be bought dolls and would be carrying them around.

Oh god we have some of this with my youngest. It was never an issue with eldest but the whole group in youngest’s Y5 are constantly best of friends then horrible to each other and then best of friends again. They are actually all nice, decent kids the vast majority of the time and do some truly lovely things for each other but when they are not nice they are blummin awful with each other. A lot of them are into lip gloss and body butters and similar but equally lots of play with dolls/sylvanians, lots of crafting, big into dance/music/drama.

Peak mean girl behaviour age. I honestly dread it.

My son used to say as well that he just didn’t understand all the drama the girls seemed to attract (in primary school). He was a very chilled child so it all seemed like unnecessary hard work to him. I was bullied at school by girls who just couldn't chill the fuck out.

I remember mean girls and boys when I was at primary school in the 70s/80s and also nice ones. I was quite a plain looking child and the mean boys were happy to let me know about it. Call me ugly duckling etc.
When my young adult dds were at primary school, again there were mean and nice girls and boys.

i’m 22 and the age i noticed this behaviour creep in was the start of secondary school.

with social media etc it’s all coming forwards. kids are growing up a lot quicker i notice.

Yes! Same when I was a child in the sixties and when my daughter was in the nineties. I remember a mum of one of my daughters friends saying to me “ these children are dressed and made up like they are going to a night club and 8 year olds don’t go to night clubs.
My nana commented on girls in my school wearing hot pants and white patent boots as looking like slappers. In my naivety I thought that was a compliment as I would have loved an outfit like that!

Non school uniform day.

8yo (yr4) DD here.
very into makeup, skin care etc, but shes not allowed to wear it everyday.
no phone or social media
likes to play out on scooters etc
no real interest in toys as such but loves family games (cards, uno, boardgames)
loves branded clothes/trainers and crop tops
shes very confident in school, has a close little group of friends, one of which shes brought out of her shell.
tells me all the tea from school, dont hear about much bitchiness though

Probably something else going on

Mufti day??

My daughter is the year group below and there are two girls in her class that ate always trying to be the queen bee. Not so much the skin care or crop tops but definitely the mean comments, excluding people etc. my girl was crying to me last year that she must be weird because she didn't like makeup

Not in my experience. If they are talking about Sephora etc blame the parents for that.

I’m 52 and even in my day Year 5 was a nightmare. Same in my daughter’s year 5 several years ago now. Pretty sure it’s always awful at that age.