MIL never buys presents for grand kids. To not want to buy for her this year?

84 replies

snowhunny · 25/11/2025 12:59

So we have 2 DC under 4 and my MIL has never bought them anything.
Not when they were born, nothing for birthdays or Christmas's .

These are her only grandchildren as OH is the only sibling with kids.
The kids see her every 2 weeks as well.

I always buy her something from the kids for her birthday and for Christmas.
It was one of the DC birthday last week and he didn't even get a birthday card when she saw DC.

AIBU to not want to buy her Xmas and birthday presents?
I know Xmas is about giving but she dosent really make an effort.

Even when the kids have been born we have had to take them to see her.

OP posts:

GovernmentFundedSteak · 25/11/2025 15:33

Maybe they aren't a gift giving family? My step- dads family aren't either.

TheatricalLife · 25/11/2025 15:33

YANBU. It doesn't sound like she will be overly bothered if you stop anyway seeing as none of them buy for each other.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 25/11/2025 15:33

His sisters are the same

So give them the exact same energy they give you

Original poster

snowhunny · 25/11/2025 15:30

No she isn't frail or disabled, and no she never buys me or OH cards or gifts either.

I have already mentioned that im only really be buying presents for the kids this year.

His sisters are the same as well.

OP posts:

Shelby2010 · 25/11/2025 13:45

Does she buy gifts or cards for you & DH?

PandyMoanyMum · 25/11/2025 13:44

I assume she’s not frail or disabled?

ldnmusic87 · 25/11/2025 13:43

It's down to your DH to manage this, it's his mother.

ShodAndShadySenators · 25/11/2025 13:43

You need to start reflecting her effort level right back at her.

Stop taking the kids to see her. If she wants to see them she can make the moves. Stop buying her gifts and cards.

If she complains, reply that you're just copying her, as that's obviously what she expects.

You would think that people who are grandparents will love their grandchildren and always want to see them and spend time with them. It isn't always the case, is it?

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 25/11/2025 13:42

On the one hand you don’t give to receive but on the other she doesn’t appear to give a shit so you can back away quietly and let your DH or DP do the running. Make her his responsibility

Unflip

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