MIL never buys presents for grand kids. To not want to buy for her this year?

That’s sounds like the easiest solution on earth, don’t visit her. The relationship is a one way street and lucky you, she will never bother you again.

I’d get her a gift still.

My Nan (Dad's side) was like this. Long back story but my Parents bought her a present, visiting a couple of times a year and job done. Their view was we care and no way are we giving you 'emotional ammo' to fling back!

Is she a Jehovah’s Witness?

What was DH’s childhood like?

Sounds like you married into a rather miserable dysfunctional family IMO. I think you should stop buying anything for any people who don't reciprocate, and spend the money on makjng Christmas a magical time for you, your DH and DCs, so that they don't grow up being such emotionless killjoys. I'm interested in your DH's take on this, does he enjoy and participate fully in Christmas, birthdays etc, or would he, left alone, be as neutral about celebrations as the rest of his family?

This isn’t your responsibility in the first place. It’s up to your husband.

Fabulous, isn't it!

So much less waste, so much less of ‘everyone swapping presents that neither giver or receiver wants’. 😊

Not strange at all. Not everyone interested in contributing to the commercial chaos or wasting money on gifts which will possibly be discarded after a few hours anyway.

Gift giving and receiving has hugely lost it appeal over the years.

OP, let your DH deal with it if they question but it doesn't seem like they will.

Simply stop buying gifts for the Grinches. To not even bother to give your own grandchildren birthday cards would make me angry and I'd stop getting her a card. Let her see how she feels with no cards.

Just don’t bother buying for her and match her energy in general. If she ever brings it up just say that you thought that tThe family wasn’t buying gifts anymore as your household never receives any so you assumed gifts weren’t important to anyone. It’s a bit odd that she doesn’t want to buy for the grandkids, but if she doesn’t buy for anyone else then she can’t expect anything in return

I’d keep buying just to be awkward. Small, cheap and pointless. Try and shame her into saying something.

Just stop buying her gifts, they obviously aren’t a gift giving family although I struggle to understand that they haven’t ever bought their grandkids anything- very thoughtless.

Bit of an odd one. Does OH have any idea why his family are like this? Is he the same?

Brilliant! Then there can’t be complaints about no presents 🤣

Did your Dh and his siblings receive presents for birthday/Christmas growing up? I find it very unusual that she doesn’t get anything, unless she’s struggling financially?

She sounds awful.
Tell your OH it is ALL on him.
Do nothing further.

What does your DH say about it? Did she used to buy presents for him and his sister when they were little?

It's strange that she keeps accepting your gifts. If she was someone who didn't believe in buying presents you'd think she's tell you not to bother.

I would stop presents for sure.

But with two children that age, home made art would be bundled up all year 😜

a box in the kitchen, every very important mark on paper, for granny Christmas.

When taking into account her never visiting you either, YANBU. Relationships require mutual effort.

I wouldn't tell her you're only buying for the kids, let her find out on Xmas day. She's hardly going to call you out on it is she? If she does, "oh I thought we'd take a leaf out of your book and not bother with presents this year".

Does she ever go anywhere?

If not, I'm wondering if she's struggling with agoraphobia maybe, or incontinence issues? Which might make it difficult to buy presents, if she isn't internet-savvy.

But maybe I'm just being naïve.

She's one of those women who need to be in control and in her house she can feel closer to this role as some sort of matriarch.

It's incredibly dull and only hurts them in the long run.

I would just leave it to your husband to sort any Christmas gift if he feels inclined and a card from the little ones.

As they get older the children will have parties and hobbies so the visits will likely dwindle unless your DH takes them, I wouldn't be making too much effort.

Definitely never buy her another thing. What a weird grandmother!

Stop buying her gifts, your DH can buy his mum presents if he wants. I wouldn't be visiting her house much either if she can't be bothered to come to yours.

I’ve always said I give presents because I enjoy giving and don’t give to receive but if you’re always buying gifts for someone and they have never once returned the gesture I’d probably just stop bothering. If it’s you that usually goes out and gets the gifts I’d tell DH that I’m not getting her one so if he wants to he can deal with that himself

Reading this thread…feel very lucky that you are not getting loads of gifts no-one wants.
Maybe she is the same as many on here, feels it is just a waste sharing tat!
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5449320-xmas-gifts-i-hate-receiving?page=13&reply=148748972

My DM doesn't do gifts, I made a point by saying ‘I know you don't do gifts, but I've bought you a little treat’ . She was quite embarrassed at being caught out!