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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think getting up as a guest at 5.30am is too antisocial?

211 replies

LoisLaneKent · 25/11/2025 12:14

Once or twice a year, I host a friend for up to a week because she is travelling from a distance.

The last two times she has stayed with me, she has left on a Saturday morning at the crack of dawn. The first time it was to catch a flight but the recently it was just to meet friends in another city and screwed up my sleeping pattern that weekend (with earplugs!).

Am I AIBU to ask her to change her leaving plans in future or should I suck it up and I'm being a moany host!

OP posts:
EmEn · 25/11/2025 12:21

I think there is a difference between crashing around making breakfast etc and expecting to socialise with you, and quietly leaving early. I get that it disturbs you regardless, but I think I'd unclench and try and get past it. If you are good friends, tell her you are a light sleeper and how affected your sleep patterns are, but I'd keep it light-hearted. If you are otherwise good friends and she is considerate, then that is worth a lot.

SpanThatWorld · 25/11/2025 12:21

If she's leaving at 5:30, she creeps like mouse and leaves you snoozing. You say goodbye the night before.

Original poster
LoisLaneKent · 25/11/2025 12:20

@Ineffable23 she doesn't expect me to get up - but she still woke me up.

OP posts:
Bellaboo01 · 25/11/2025 12:20

LoisLaneKent · 25/11/2025 12:14

Once or twice a year, I host a friend for up to a week because she is travelling from a distance.

The last two times she has stayed with me, she has left on a Saturday morning at the crack of dawn. The first time it was to catch a flight but the recently it was just to meet friends in another city and screwed up my sleeping pattern that weekend (with earplugs!).

Am I AIBU to ask her to change her leaving plans in future or should I suck it up and I'm being a moany host!

what time is crack of dawn?

Ineffable23 · 25/11/2025 12:19

Does she expect you to get up? Or does she says goodnight and goodbye the night before and then creep out the following morning? Because if she does the latter I think it's reasonable.

iSage · 25/11/2025 12:19

I think the onus is on the guest to be quiet if getting up at that time.

Original poster
LoisLaneKent · 25/11/2025 12:19

@FunnyOrca last weekend it wasn't for a flight. It was just to go and meet other friends.

I had been working all week and was really tired. She'd been chilling and having dinners out with mates all week.

OP posts:
ForZanyAquaViewer · 25/11/2025 12:18

For the flight, I’d be okay with it. But, in general, I’d tell her that waking up at half 5 disturbs my sleep, so could she please not. It shouldn’t be a massive deal. She’s your friend, after all.

ldnmusic87 · 25/11/2025 12:17

You have to weigh it up, is it worth it for you to host her.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 25/11/2025 12:17

Unclench.

FunnyOrca · 25/11/2025 12:16

I think for a flight, it’s reasonable.

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