to think getting up as a guest at 5.30am is too antisocial?

It’s fine to say you’d prefer a proper weekend visit.

Meant to click yabu

Can you not just go back to bed when she leaves? I don’t understand people who have such rigid sleep patterns.

Ok there’s no clattering around and making tea at that time in the morning. If she has time to faff about and make tea then she could get up bit later, slip out quietly and grab a cup of tea on her route somewhere.

Also - does she need to meet the friends that early or is it a long drive? If they are being ridiculous and meeting mikes away at 9am then ask her to push that back until 10am. She needs to be considerate of you.

Only once or twice a year! If I liked my friend I’d get up with them and make breakfast.

Think of it as character building 😉

Crikey what time was she meeting these friends? Are they all such early birds?

I have a friend who is a bit like this. Lives a long haul flight away, comes back once every other year. It’s nice to see her, but she does treat her hosts like a hotel. A few years ago she stayed for a week, complained there wasn’t a full range of toiletries in the guest bathroom, and let her kids get up and watch telly at 4.30am because they were jet lagged. Woke up the whole household every day before dawn and was unrepentant when challenged.

After that visit I made sure she visits us towards the end of her trip, and not straight off the plane. A mutual friend also confided in me that she always finds an excuse not to host her, because her Dh has point blank refused to have her stay with them.

This year we managed to persuade her to stay in a hotel, and we visited her there. Much better!

Just ask yourself if her visit is worth being woken up at 5.30am once or twice a year?

I'm a ridiculously light sleeper, possibly because I live on my own. Even someone opening or closing a door gently would probably wake me up and a toilet or shower certainly would. But I take that as my issue. As long as the guest is being quiet, I'd say they've done all they can and wouldn't expect them to change plans.

If she's a good friend I would get up early too, to see her off. If you are really tired go back to bed afterwards. Or as said above say goodbye the night before and ask her to be quiet as you will be sleeping. Getting up early one or two mornings a year for a good friend isn't much of a hardship.

I think she using you, having dinner with another friend while staying with you is bad form.

She’s taking the piss imo and using you as a free hotel so she can go out socialising on your area and home the weeks c when you’re free to spend time with her, she’s off.

You need to speak up OP. Tell her that if she’s staying again, then you’ll need uk agree dates in advance that work for both of you, not just for her convenience

Seriously though, it's only one or two days a year. Why can you not cope with this? How bizarre.

Well then (as I said,) the OP needs to grow a pair, and tell her friend she can't stay, as she can't cope with being woken at 5.30am on one - or even <<<GASP>>>TWO days of the year! 🙄

This. ^ My DH works nights some weeks, and gets in at around 6.30am (my normal waking time is 8.30am) and he never disturbs me, I don't hear him at all.

And I'm not a heavy sleeper (not light but not heavy.) He does sleep in another bedroom when he's been on nights, but the OP's guest will be in a separate bedroom too presumably!

If she is a good friend, @LoisLaneKent, you ought to be able to say to her that you struggle with her getting up so early on a Saturday morning - your sleep pattern is all messed up at the moment, and after a long working week, you can't cope with being woken up at 5.30am - without her getting in a huff.

Why should she 'reframe her thinking!?' It's her house!

Oh for goodness sake. What a ludicrous overreaction. The OP's guest is only there once or twice a year for a few days. And she only gets up at 5.30am on the last day she is staying!

If it bothers the OP so much, she needs to grow a pair, and tell the friend she can't stay, as she can't possibly be woken at 5.30 a.m. for TWO days of the year! Good grief! 🙄

Anyone who thinks the OP should just suck it up is demonstrating an entitled attitude towards other people’s hospitality.

Literally saying the friend is entitled to OP’s hospitality and therefore OP should “suck it up” rather than protecting her own free time and rest.

If she's got these sort of plans that involve getting up at 5.30 maybe staying in a hotel would suit better?

"I have plans so you will have to be disturbed while I stay at your house"

What other noises was she actually making, other than filling up the kettle and plugging it in? You must be an incredibly light sleeper if that wakes you up from a different room, and whilst you have ear plugs in. Next time, could you leave the kettle filled up the night before and plugged in? Are there any other specific noises she was making that could be avoidable?

No toilet flushing?! Isn't the alternative to flushing the loo much more impolite?!

I think it would be a real shame to lose a friend or see them less often because of a couple of broken nights sleep a year. I don't buy the 'using you as a hotel' thing either. Sounds like she spends plenty of time with you, and hosts you in return. Use your words!