to think getting up as a guest at 5.30am is too antisocial?

Same! 😂

Do you think you're a bit resentful that she is meeting other people and that is annoying you more than anything else?

A kettle boiling waking you up is your issue tbh.

You sound quite set in your ways and perhaps hosting isn't your strong point.

Wouldn’t bother me. I can roll over and go back to sleep so long as I’m not expected to get up to do something.

Did she know you had a very recent bereavement and did she offer to change her plans? I'm shocked she still used your home as a hotel at such a difficult time for you. Grief is brutal, it can make us vulnerable in unpredictable ways. I'm sorry for your loss.

Your house your rules

Sounds like you just don't like hosting her. You are finding fault with every aspect of her stay. Just tell her not to come of it annoys you. If you think someone who stays with you should be your hostage and never see friends, but at the same time think that hosting non stop is exhausting, then she can't win. Just go back to sleep if she wakes you. I don't understand that.

Tell her goodbye the night before. Set up the coffee machine, leave some store bought muffins out and sleep in 🎉

I get your annoyance but it’s a tricky one. Really for a couple of times a year it’s probably easier just to keep quiet and suck it up. But if it really is too big a deal for you could you just say ‘dear friend, Saturday is my only, much looked forward to, lie in of the week, do you think you could possibly not leave until at least 7 as it does always wake me up, thank you’

Gosh I don't have anyone to stay that I don't like enough to miss a couple of hours sleep for. Maybe you should be more picky about who you host?

She should fit in with your routine imo.

It’s once or twice a year - no big deal !

‘I’m so sorry - I can’t have you to stay this time. I’m absolutely under the cosh at work and really need my long lies to recover at weekends. Would a Premier Inn work for you? I could send a link’

Once or twice a year and if you know (in other words before they arrive), I think ok. I agree about being quiet when getting up.

Obviously not.

Precious princess being woken up, ….

Prosecco could be your friend.

After a few glasses, you won't give a F what time your friend gets up or goes to bed...

I think that not disturbing and disrupting your host is the least that a guest should do, especially if it’s for as long as a week. I think that your guest should inform you of their plans when they arrive, to make sure they fit in with you, it’s just basic courtesy.

For me, this would be a complete non-issue. I think part of good hosting is putting yourself out for the guest when that is needed, and being woken at 5:30am twice a year is not a big deal. I would also have no problem with someone who is staying for more than a night or two going out with other people. Firstly, it gives me a breather from hosting, and I don't consider it necessary for a friendship for people to be glued together at all times.

I suspect the real reason this got to you this time, OP, is the bereavement. You just didn't have the energy for hosting at this time. Sorry for your loss.

I'm not sure on this, she stays at your house for a week but your at work and she goes out with friends, (is that daytime or evening?) while she's at yours then leaves very early on the day your at home? Maybe ask her if she can't stay the extra day so you have a rest and get to spend some time with her. Otherwise, put earplugs in on the night as she leaves so early next morning.

Stop hosting her then! You're not a hotel. You were unavailable that week as you were working. On top of working and hosting she was unkind enough to wake you early. That would be it for me, she's started taking you for granted, treating your home like a hotel and basically taking the piss. In future, she can get an actual hotel and you can be one of the people she catches up with over dinner one evening. I wouldn't be wearing earplugs to deal with the noise of someone who doesn't live in my home. You won't have a noise problem if she's in a hotel!

I dont see a issue with this either put up with it or dont host again

Hiya,

for a flight, I would say it is ok as earlier is cheaper by far sometimes.
for meeting friends…yeah, it isn’t great especially because if she stays at yours and she is out evenings…and supposedly you worked all week, when do you see her? If the plan is for her to come and sleep at yours with no plan to spend time with her…would be hard for you to say you want her not to go when she wants…alternatively…propose a breakfast Sat morning with you to make sure she sticks around and not wake you up?

There are ways around without falling out.

Are you sure you aren't being made use of?

id just be delighted she left before I got up to be honest. Guests lose appeal very quickly with me.

You sound like you shouldn’t be hosting