to think getting up as a guest at 5.30am is too antisocial?

She’s using your house as a free air b&b. Next time don’t let her stay at yours.

You said she is travelling from far, means she probably do not see that other friends much either. And after she is probably heading home to have rest on Sunday before she starts working on Monday. I always want to wake up early just to see anyone (either family member of friend leaving to say bye, no matter how tired I would be and although I would not need to - knowing I will not see them for sometime. And we never know when it is the last time to see them! Life is just too short to be bothered by such things and it is one or two mornings in a year.)

I get you, happens to us too. My husband were hosting few friends, who stay with us as conveniently close to Heathrow :-)

Once or twice a year you’re being unreasonable I’m sure you can deal with.

She appears to have just made a hot drink in the kitchen. I expect she would be surprised that it affected OP at all. But, as it does, OP realises she needs to speak up about it and probably should have put her off.

I suffer with insomnia and take chamomile teabags with me when I am visiting to make during the night if I need them. TBH it never occurred to me that I might be distrubing anyone and no-one has ever commented on it when I have.

So what.

Maybe it's not all about you - sorry - living with teenagers here

She doesn't have to do anything! - this would annoy me too. It's so selfish and thoughtless.

Maybe don’t host her in future.

She filled a kettle. OP did not say she was clattering. OP is rude to expect a guest to lie in bed staring at the ceiling or not make a cup of tea, if hosting.

If OP doesn't want to host, she can choose not to host. She cannot demand that her guests never get up early and make a cup of tea.

That would be absolutely unhinged and horribly ill mannered.

OP is not cut out for hosting, so should stop doing it. Problem will be thereby solved.

It's not on that she wakes you up. If she wants to leave at that time she needs to be super quiet about it. It IS an antisocial time.
We had guests once that made themselves breakfast at 6am before we were up and woke up the kids. On a Sunday morning!!
Never had them back abd never will do
Cannot be doing with that nonsense.
If i were a guest in someone's home and I wake up before them I'd be extremely quiet and just read or something until they woke up.
Absolutely would not be clattering about. So rude.

Precisely this.

And btw yep to millions of people getting up at 5.30am is absolutely normal. There is nothing wrong with it. At all.

If the OP is so highly strung she simply cannot get back to sleep if someone makes a cup of tea in the kitchen, she should not be hosting anybody.

You sound completely unsuited to hosting anybody. Maybe she should book in somewhere instead, then she can (shock horror!) get up early and (oh my god, the humanity!) make a cup of tea early without so massively inconveniencing you 😆

For next time could you welcome her to stay but advise that she needs to leave by the Friday as you’ve plans at the weekend? (Plans to sleep haha). Then it allows you your restful weekend but also to still maintain contact?

You seem obsessed with OP sucking things up as it's only 2 days a year.

You don't know what she's got going on, she could be balls to the wall at work and absolutely exhausted, and therefore one bad sleep has a large impact.

I have some health issues, two jobs, dogs to walk and a toddler to look after which means rest time is very valuable. One bad sleep knocks out my whole week. If you told me to "suck it up", I'd tell you exactly where to go.

It’s a tricky one, but I do think she needs to appreciate that 530 is really early so she should be slipping straight out, no kettle boiling, nothing.

😂😂😂

Was she being especially loud? For one night Id let it go. She’s only there a week.

Definitely!!

I agree with you, it is a selfish attitude to get up and leave so early. I used to have a partner who would descend on me at short notice for a short visit, then he would choose to leave before sunrise as if he was some nocturnal creature who had no control over his own hours!

That then meant I could not get back to sleep and it wrecked my work day and income. And he habitually did it each time he visited, even though he was aware it caused me to be too tired to work.

I'd say ask her to get up two hours later because you end up wide awake but too tired to function.

Sounds like she’s using you as a hotel. Nip that in the bud.

I’m trying to keep this simple, quid pro quo and all that. It’s two days a year, have you considered you might be a PIA when she accommodates you in return, you have two options

1. put up with it for 2 out of 365 days a year in exchange for staying with her
2. don’t have her and risk losing a friend and a reciprocal accommodation agreement.

Why is she waking you up? Nothing wrong with leaving early but to be waking you up is unreasonable.

So really, she’s just using you as an hotel. Bad manners.

"You think she treats your place like a hotel and didn't have to leave so early just to socialise"
if you feel youve got the right to dictate when she does things and think shes a nuisance just say no next time, tell her the truth, i would have no issues, shes a friend and i would be doing my best to make her feel comfortable and welcome for 2 days of the year

Just say goodbye the evening before.