to think getting up as a guest at 5.30am is too antisocial?

She is not a mind reader.

It wouldn’t bother me and as an early riser I would hate to feel that I was expected to lounge around in bed for hours just because my host was. I never lie in beyond about 8am: it feels like a waste to me. I wouldn’t stay with someone who tried to foist this on me.

If she’s crashing around making loads of unnecessary noise you could say something but I don’t think you can expect her to sync her body clock to yours.

if it is only a couple of times a year and she is trying to max her time i would ignore it

You clearly don’t have children. Suck it up princess. Literally only once or twice a year. It’s a friend. I bet she’d do the same for you.

As an early riser (3-4 am), I don't like staying with other people or in hotels because everything is so out of sync with how I live my life. But, it can't always be avoided if I want to spend time with my far away friends. So, I sometimes need to adapt. I don't always like it and I wouldn't do it for all my friends - it needs to be worth the disruption. I guess you need to think about how important seeing your friend is v.s a night of disrupted sleep. I hope you find a way to respect and honour your peace, whilst maintaining your friendship

It's a little bit rude to leave at that time in the morning at the weekend when rest and extra sleep is precious. Could you ask them to travel (into the city or to the airport) in the evening before? If you are hosting them for a week that seems a reasonable request in return for your hospitality

Op has suffered a recent bereavement, maybe be a bit kinder?

May exhibit ask her next time, that if she's making plans to leave before a certain time, could she make arrangements to stay at another friends as you're exhausted and need a lie in on the weekend, really if meeting friends that early should stay with one of said friends the night before

It wouldn’t have bothered me at all.

She has only been with you on two previous occasions and to date I can't see that there is anything unreasonable with her behaviour. If they are staying for a week maybe they will not need to be getting up so early. If they do want to get up and go out earlier then they can let themselves out. If this is all going to bother you too or you think they are using you then don't accommodate them at all.

Get a grip, how absolutely pathetic to whinge about once or twice a year. Are you that rigid that you can’t survive one or two nights of waking up early ?

Don't get up!Any guest I have who gets up early,doesn't expect me to get up.
I tell them make yourself at home .

I think, maybe you just need to say no to her staying if this is something that's bothering you. It isn't reasonable to expect someone to not be able to carry out normal ablutions and have a cup of tea. It's not like she's using your en-suite & boiling the kettle in your bedroom. I'd hate a guest to think that they had to creep out, I always get up & say goodbye regardless of the time. If it's a day off you can either go back to bed, or if you're awake, get up & have a nap later.

It's amusing that a post on mumsnet is complaining about 5.30 being early. I haven't slept past 5am since my daughter was born and she's almost 16 😂

People are so different in what they think is good and bad.
I'd say a guest who got up early and let themselves out is great. Then I can chillax on Saturday morning after a hard week at work.

Plus a guest who spends some time with me and some time with other people is brilliant as well. It's not so full on ...u get a catch up but it's not suffocating.

Send your guest round to mine. She sounds ideal!

This post doesn't deserve any responses. Non issue.

It wakes the OP. Unless there was a specific reason (work or travel), if I was staying with a friend and something I was doing was inconveniencing them, I’d like them to mention it and then I’d stop. In this scenario, I’d read in bed for an hour or something.

I really don’t see this as a big deal.

Username checks out.

@LoisLaneKent , I'm so sorry you're getting so much grief on this post.
The ones who are telling you to "suck it up" have zero empathy or emotional intelligence.

Everyone has different resilience levels and different sleep requirements. We also don't know your schedule or life, so this may well be the only decent night's sleep you get all week. However, you may be getting 8 hours a night and that's ok too, you can still be aggrieved for being woken early by your friend.

I note that you say she told you when she was coming to stay? That stood out to me. If the reason for her coming to stay was go spend quality time with you, she would have consulted you about dates. If she was looking for a cheap hotel, she would tell you when she's coming to stay.

That being said, it's damn cheeky to tell someone you're coming to stay with them, and dictate when.

What I suggest is you agree a mutually convenient couple of nights for her to stay with you, that's when you guys spend time together and have dinner together, etc.

Then she can either stay with her other friends or in a hotel for the rest of the time.

But, coming from someone who values sleep and doesn't cope well without a good night's sleep, ignore those who are devaluing your feelings about the situation.

It's only once or twice a year, just suck it up :)

If she had to be up early, as host I would get up to, and make the hot drink, breakfast etc. I am the host.

Unless she goes about banging things I don't see the problem. And both times she has done it she has had to get somewhere early in the morning. Lots of people routinely get up at such times, anyway - my DSS gets up at 3 a.m. for work. The rest of the household is undisturbed. Of course, if you are entertaining someone you get up to see them off even if it is at 6 a.m. You can always go back to bed or you can stay up and do something useful/interesting/relaxing/watch the sun come up etc. I sometimes get up at 7 a.m. at my DD's. I don't expect anyone else to get up and I am not disturbed when e.g. DD or DD's DP get up at 5 or 6 in the morning as they are driving a long way to work.

OP is being a bit precious.

I would set expectations now.

Hi X, it was lovely to see you last week. Next time I'd really like it if we spend some time together at the weekend when I am not working. Hope you had a great time. X

It's only once or twice a year, I would suck it up to be honest! If she needs to get up early for whatever reason, then it's what she needs to do.

I’d have more of a problem with her having dinner with someone else on her final night. But I agree it’s rude of her to be up so early and disturb you (she could have got a hot drink from a service/train station).

I find her really rude. She should have had breakfast with you before leaving . It's exhausting going out after work while having someone stay . I think some time with you at the weekend would have been more considerate. It sounds like she is using you.
how would you feel if she was in a huff and didn't come back though?