I got all dressed up and DH called me Mr Bean. AIBU to be upset !?

My soon to be exH used to do this all the time. Last year he told me I looked like one of the Adam’s family and at that point I decided enough was enough, got my ducks in a row and left him (lots of other reasons too). Looking back I don’t know how I ever thought it was good enough.

Yes agree totally. It sounds like your husband got it spot on. I am not defending him at all - quite the opposite, I was sympathising because I often have the same silly comments directed at me!

No. He didn't mean it as a compliment.

Next time he makes an effort say he looks like an egg with a face drawn on

My son once told me I looked like his teacher after I'd got all dressed up for a night out.

His teacher was short and chubby. With a bushy beard.

Have you noticed that your DH makes fun of women only? You, your daughter, his mother?

Why does he not pick on men? Does he not have a father, brothers, sons, male friends?

Men that put women down like this are cunts.

I would imagine because he has the level of maturity in humour of a fifteen year old boy but as I'm not him, I don't really know.

I'm no oil painting.

On those rare occasions when I dressed up and put on a bit of make-up - and was feeling self-conscious - my late husband would say "You're looking bonny."

Something of that sort was all that was appropriate.

In your case I don't think it means he thinks you look like Rowan Atkinson, it's probably just not what you normally wear and maybe he felt you looked little self conscious or something...?

So why didn't he say that?

Start bantering back, you’ll find an achilles heal, what about Droopy Nuts as a pet / nickname?

These people (mostly blokes, it seems) who claim things are ‘just jokes’ or ‘banter’ …apart from anything else they’ve got a really shit sense of humour.
if you’ve got a GSOH - a prized attribute - you can tell when the other person finds a ‘quip’ funny and when they don’t, and you don’t double down keep repeating your error.

Agreed. Sounds like a purposeful attempt to demean whilst also being so ridiculous as to make himself sound utterly thick. Bizarre!

Next time he makes advances in the bedroom, take a scoffing look at his penis and tell him he looks like Mr bean and that you don't fancy him much.

Only joking.

Ha fucking ha.

See how he likes it.

It is meant to knock your confidence. The last think a man wants is a confident woman, because a confident woman might get the idea she has options other than him. A man like this will see to it that your wings are clipped nicely every now and then ~ and oh, of course it's a joke.

I have a DP who sometimes makes remarks like this. He thinks it’s hilarious. He genuinely doesn’t understand why I get upset and seems to think I should just laugh along. He does make self deprecating jokes about himself, so I reckon he thinks that gives him carte blanche to joke about me too. Well, it bloody well doesn’t. It’s the sort of thing you expect from an annoying younger brother when you’re teenagers, not a partner.

I’d have replied, “that’s a funny one. You look like a guy whose balls are going to be pretty blue if he keeps making comments like that.”

Absolutely spot on.

I don't think it is, either.

I re-read the OP, and was struck by I occasionally get frustrated by his “jokes.”

This isn't a one-off then - this is a man with low self-esteem who makes himself feel better by denigrating his wife.

This "joke" doesn't work at all. It's a put-down designed to dent the OP's confidence. What an insecure little man her husband is.

I'm betting that you looked absolutely lovely, OP.

My husband can be like this. He speaks before he thinks and always wants to raise a laugh. He often insults my 18 year old daughter and his own mother with this kind of thing. It's just first thing that pops in his mind type stuff. He does it to me too (I frequently look like Dr Who for some reason); I have learned to ignore it over the years (and will often also let my tongue be loose in relation to him).

In your case I don't think it means he thinks you look like Rowan Atkinson, it's probably just not what you normally wear and maybe he felt you looked little self conscious or something...? In the case with my husband, it bears no impact on whether he fancies me or not, to him it's just having a laugh/banter I suppose. However, I can totally sympathise and I've always thought that taking the mick out of others' appearance (or personality) is pretty low humour. It sounded like it spoiled your effort though and I would explain that to him - that it was hurtful precisely because you had made the effort.

I don't think it's a coincidence that you've lost weight and gained some confidence, and he's now decided to tear you down.

I’d have said “have you seen yourself lately?”

It might be funny if in every other way he makes you feel attractive, but even so it's pretty unsupportive when you've got a big day ahead.

I'm not a natural joker and sometimes my "jokes" completely miss the mark. Is it something like that? He tried to make you laugh and missed?

I think we all know it wasn't a joke. It was a spiteful put down to make you feel like shit. He knew you wouldn't laugh clearly, it's hardly superior comedy or remotely clever. It doesn't even make sense if you were wearing a dress.
I'd personally go with the total ignoring option. When he says something like that, completely blank face it and don't respond like you haven't heard or walk away. If he repeats it, continue to ignore. If he asks why you are not responding, say that you didn't realise it needed one. If you give nothing back, no upset or anger, he gets no satisfaction or ego boost out if it at all.
He's a bit thick if he imagines that negging actually works and you'll be up for more sex after that. Good way to make a fanny clamp shut.