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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL is beginning to unravel and baby isn’t here yet

59 replies

Motherhoodpending · 25/11/2025 05:18

My MIL unfortunately has a history of depression and can get quite paranoid.

She found out I’d asked my own mum to babysit for a wedding in December when baby will be 7 months old. She started calling my husband to ask why she hadn’t been asked instead days after and was obviously annoyed. She heard we were going on holiday with the baby and she kept asking to be invited and my husband had to keep saying no.

Then my husband and her had an argument and she started to message me about my husband, insulting him etc. I didn’t know what to reply and my pregnancy has been really difficult so I don’t have the energy for it. I kept my replies minimal and she kept sending rambling messages about him.

They then had an argument face to face.

All this drama is just making me anxious but I know she’s not the type to pander to. I’m not sure how to approach both situations when they’re brought up to me? My husband has dealt with it and was annoyed she messaged me but it’s more if she tries to involve me or brings it up when I next see her. AIBU to need advice on how to deal with this?

OP posts:
WonderingWanda · 25/11/2025 06:00

You'll need to be direct with her.

"Mil please stop sending me these messages about dh, this is between the two of you and it is stressing me out. If you carry on I will block your number and that would be a real shame as you then won't get to hear any updates about the baby"

"Mil I'm not having a hypothetical argument with you about future babysitting. I am sure you will have plenty of involvement with your grandchildren but only if you stop all this hysterical grabby nonsense before they are even born"

Original poster
Motherhoodpending · 25/11/2025 05:51

Blocking her doesn’t seem the right call when I see her about once every two weeks, I feel it’s a bit rash. I’d rather confront her if she speaks to me about it than ghost the situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
Motherhoodpending · 25/11/2025 05:47

@Zanatdy thats the thing, it’s nice someone wants to be involved and help us but it has to be on our terms and to suit the baby and us. I know that sounds one sided but it can’t be her calling the shots. She is busy 6 out of 7 days a week so I’m wondering if it’ll all come out in the wash, like she’ll realise she’s too tired anyway.

OP posts:
Wasywasydoodah · 25/11/2025 05:42

I think the way your husband is dealing with her sounds perfect. Just let him sort it out- he’s the expert!

MakeItToTheMoon · 25/11/2025 05:39

I was thinking the same thing as the previous poster and would block her too. Surely this isn’t normal behaviour and she should be on medication? If she suffers from paranoia and depression it needs to be addressed. The baby isn’t even born yet.

Namechangedconfession · 25/11/2025 05:35

Block her and ask your husband to stop replying to her texts. Also go low contact and only let her see your baby when you’re ready to, not when she demands. I also wouldn’t have booked a holiday because you don’t know how you’ll feel after the birth and whether your baby will be easy or not.

Zanatdy · 25/11/2025 05:34

She needs to chill out. Just tell her she will get her chance to babysit. Why do some grandmothers act like this? Like it’s an entitlement. Wish my DC’s grandmothers were falling over themselves to babysit. Sadly none were!

Original poster
Motherhoodpending · 25/11/2025 05:30

@PollyBell I know, it’s just I have such physical anxiety over it like my IBS is in overdrive. I’m not sure why it’s getting to me so much unless it’s pregnancy related. I said in the messages that she needs to bring it up to him instead and she just kept sending long rambling texts.

OP posts:
PollyBell · 25/11/2025 05:23

Just keep on saying it is between him and her, what else can you say?

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