I can't use her for childcare can I?

Sounds like a form of OCD

Umm, well Op's Mum is possibly very mentally unwell? And her biggest concern is that it'll dry up her free childcare? So in my opinion OP can bog right off if that's her biggest 'issue' in the circumstances 🙄

I would tell her straight out that she seems to have ocd and she needs to tell her gp all her "rules" and see what she makes out of it.
Tell her that she can obey to any weird rules she wants but stop trying to tell you what to do.

Or try to win her over by humour.
"Really mum, are you sure it's not on a Monday you shouldn't go to a hairdresser? That's what I heard."
" Actually this article says that frozen stuff can be outside for x minutes in my special thermo bag so don't worry."
"You know that you are more likely to get an heart attack due to anxiety than anything bad happening to me for breaking your arbitrary rules".

Is there a voice of reason she will listen to? My Mil thought her gp was God so I told her to ask him anytime she was "sure" about something. He was a family doctor and prescribed her antidepressants that helped her anxiety but he phrased it as it would help her muscular pain or she wouldn't have taken them. And he didn't lie because when she was less anxious she relaxed more and was in less pain.

OP look for a different nursery. Most day nurseries open more like 8-6pm at a minimum.
Echoing others, she doesn't sound well. I wouldn't leave my chkld with her and I'd encourage her to go to the GP.

Has she seen a doctor. Definitely sounds like ocd. Anxiety spiralling. I personally wouldn't want her influence on my child . But understand you are in a very difficult situation.

I think maybe find another nursery or top up with a childminder.

This. I'm sorry, what a hard situation

I agree she sounds unwell but it sounds like an anxiety disorder which can be treated/ cured rather than dementia which cannot. That doesn’t solve your immediate problem but if she is open to getting some help she might be able to resume childcare at some point soon

Agree with others. I wouldn’t let her look after your child. As the child gets older, she could start to impose weird behaviours on them. Have you spoken to her about it, that she needs to see her GP?

I'm afraid she shouldn't be left with your child. Sorry, but your mum has gone bananas for some reason. These rules are coming from a place of anxiety though - either cognitive decline or a lot like OCD.

I would look at a nursery or childminder that can provide more hours. If that won’t work, I would explore if there are options with your current work to cut your hours or wfh more in order to be able to make childcare work.

You will know this best... are some relatedd to religion/ethnic background? Just saw the separation of meat and milk.

Most nurseries near me open from 7:30-6. Can you find one near you with better hours? Why did you choose the current one? Did you particularly like it?

It's fucking with your head so it will fuck woth theirs.

Kids are impressionable and these behaviours have every chance of becoming an OCD for them.

I watched a Facebook video the other days,a woman was talking about opening a childcare through the Gov UK website, which meant you only pay 80% of you childcare costs as it is topped up from government funds.
You may have already looked at this, but if not,it may help.

You need to see what other childcare options you have and if you are getting all your benefits or if you could get childcare vouchers.

This sort of thing will make your child very anxious.

Sounds like OCD to me OP, and no she's not suitable to care for your child.

Can’t you look for another nursery? It seems highly unusual for a day nursery to close at 5pm. Most people are likely to work until then or later, then need to get from work to the nursery for pick up. It’s a long while since my kids were in nursery but the hours were 8-6. I certainly wouldn’t be using someone who’s spouting those sorts of mad things to look after my child, no matter how cheap or even free it was.

Sorry Ponoka7, didn't mean to quote you ❤

She’s sounds like she’s really struggling with anxiety. I’m currently having some help through talking therapies with my own anxiety as my own dd pointed out that it was now effecting her life. I’m constantly over protective after a distressing incident a few years back. Maybe if you explain how it might affect your relationship with her she may seek help?

What's happening at the moment when you collect the baby after work in the dark? Are you dealing with that particular 'rule' every time? Have your siblings noticed this?

You surely must be entitled to universal credit element of childcare costs - have you checked the calculator

Does she have OCD? She sounds quite unwell.
I think planning for an alternative childcare option sounds like a good idea. Also speaking to your siblings about her mental ill health or maybe contacting her GP.

she needs to see a GP with you present so you can explain what’s going on. I wouldn’t leave your child with her while she’s unwell.

Would a job change and lower salary be better off than paying for some wraparound care for a few years?

I feel for you, that's so hard to see and your mum sounds like she has a disorder of some kind, definitely not good to expose your daughter to what you grew up with:(