18 yr old daughter is driving me crazy

on a side note, nights are hard. They might pay more but for me they come at a price for your health.. can you switch out of them? I did them, and used to wake up crying, simply cause I was at the wrong end of the day..

Is there anything you do that only impacts her? Likely her laundry or cooking her meals? If so you stop. If she's leaving a mess around the place everything that's hers just gets chucked into a box - her shoes, her make up bag, her ipad, her dirty favourite mug, her half eaten bag of crisps. At least that way you're minimising time dealing with her mess.

Do you generally have a good relationship? She sounds spoilt and uncaring but is probably just oblivious and remaining in her role as a child.

I agree that getting raging angry might snap her out of it, it sounds like she's used to nagging and can tune it out.

I'd be trying to have a grown up conversation about the costs. Look into the costs of a 1-bed including reduced utility bills and council tax so you can show her the comparison.

Tell her you are knackered due to all the hours you work and clean. If she won't do her share of cleaning you will need to cut back your hours. So you plan to downsize to a 1-bed and she has sofa bed in the livingroom. Or she could pull her weight then you could continue to work.

She’s got it way too easy at the moment. A course for 20 hours is barely anything, she needs a part time job. I would charge her rent and it comes out of anything you give her eg pocket money, until she gets a job. It’s completely unacceptable that she does nothing and leaves the house a mess.
you also need to refuse to do anything for her as she’s totally being lazy and disrespectful. So no more laundry, cooking, etc. can you also turn off the wifi before you go to work? Hopefully you’re not paying for her to have a ton of data on her phone . If you are you should change it to a more basic (cheaper) contract.

Sod giving her money for chores - She's 18 she needs to have a part time job. Stop payimg for stuff for her! Once her course is finished then she needs to pay rent - you're running yourself into the ground trying to support 2 adults.

Sit her down and explain how exhausted you are. Put a list of chores on the fridge that she can refer to. If its not done then they'll be no clean clothes/dinner/,whatever.

While Yanbu I think it will help to remember that at this age, she is a legal adult but her brain isn't fully matured. It's a gradual process ;in many ways she is still a kid.

I do agree with linking rewards to behaviour though - if she doesn't tidy, then she doesn't get given any money. Stop making life too easy.

Have you ever got really angry with her about it? Like raging?

If you haven't, maybe it's time. At the moment she just sees you coping. Doing what you've always done. If she doesn't tidy up or share the housework, it doesn't really matter because you come along and do it anyway.

I'd get really fucking angry. And in the aftermath have a calmer conversation where you lay it out. What do you need her to do? Unfortunately I think you need to make it easy in the sense that you cant just say chip in, you'll have to be specific. So on a Monday can you please do x. Everyday before college you need to do y.

And then explain the consequences. She'll soon cop on when she has no clean knickers. Or you dont pay for her phone. Or drop her off.

Sympathies. This age can be brutal.

Leave a list of daily chores you expect her to do. Do you give her money? If she doesn’t help, she doesn’t get any. Don’t get in to an argument just state the facts and walk away.