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AIBU?

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Original poster

How unreasonable would it be to lie about my son’s age so he can join our gym?

184 replies

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 17:41

He’s 14. Getting into things he shouldn’t be getting into a bit. I think the gym would be a great distraction. Me, his dad and his 18 year old sister all go to the gym. It’s aged 16 and up though. I’m a rule follower at all times so I’m not saying we will do it. However, how unreasonable would it be if we were to say he is 16? Is it even possible, thinking they might want to see ID.

He will train only with us and his dad really knows what he’s doing (has spent his whole life training in the gym) so the risk of injury is lessened but of course it’s there nonetheless. Am I not thinking straight?

OP posts:
BatshitOutofHell · 24/11/2025 19:15

People his age should not use the equipment. They also shouldn't train with weights and should only use body weight exercises because they are still growing.

Mayflower282 · 24/11/2025 19:14

Kid at my gym fell off the treadmill and needed skin grafts on both his lower legs 😱 I wouldn’t trust a kid in the gym

Nevernonono · 24/11/2025 19:13

aWeeCornishPastie · 24/11/2025 17:50

Everyone saying it will invalidate an insurance claim…yada yada. How likely is that going to happen if he is training with you his family? I would do it OP. Sometimes in life rules are there to be broken

Teaching your child to lie is wrong though? Regardless of insurance.

ClareBlue · 24/11/2025 19:12

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 18:57

I’ve decided not to do it, so don’t need more messages telling me not to do it 😁

Also it is really unusual for a 14 year old to try alcohol (not regularly) or weed (again it’s not an actual habit). I’m not saying we are not concerned about it and trying to help him but equally, is it very unusual? (Happy to be told it is) 🤦‍♀️

No it's not unusual and it's not an inevitable path to worse. So your strategy of finding other interests is exactly the way to go. My sister was the same and our parents supported her into a hobby and it worked out fine. You've identified it's a time to make some interventions which is the main thing.

Cece92 · 24/11/2025 19:12

There are gyms for under 16’s there’s gyms round mine for 12+ but can’t use weights or weight machines. My DD school has a gym and they are encouraged to use it. I wouldn’t be keen on the lying about age but I think it’s a great thing to get him into xx

DeepEagle · 24/11/2025 19:11

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 18:57

I’ve decided not to do it, so don’t need more messages telling me not to do it 😁

Also it is really unusual for a 14 year old to try alcohol (not regularly) or weed (again it’s not an actual habit). I’m not saying we are not concerned about it and trying to help him but equally, is it very unusual? (Happy to be told it is) 🤦‍♀️

Depends on the circles in which your kids move. I'd say its definitely not the norm at 14, any more than having sex or menacing the general public on a surron.

momtoboys · 24/11/2025 19:10

Do you really want to be THAT family?

ClassicalQueen · 24/11/2025 19:08

Lots of gyms allow 11+, I’d sign him up to one of those.

Original poster
WinoLino · 24/11/2025 19:07

@NuffSaidSam sorry I wasn’t clear. There have been 4 occasions where he has consumed alcohol or weed in total. And he’s told us every single time. I agree it is concerning. But I want to keep it in proportion. I made a GP appointment for him but I’m not sure what they can do, I’m a mental health nurse myself and am trained in a therapy that could be quite helpful for him but he wouldn’t meet the criteria to receive it and doesn’t want to talk to a professional anyway which is fair enough.

He’s extremely sensitive and worries a lot 😢

OP posts:
Weecatsmum · 24/11/2025 19:03

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 17:56

Thanks all, helpful to have a range of replies. For a variety of reasons it’s going to be too difficult to train somewhere else and there aren’t any gyms in our area that accept 14 years olds that I could afford.

You are all right about insurance!

@aWeeCornishPastieI like your style! I’ve never been very good at breaking rules.

I think we will have to wait. Just doesn’t seem like there’s much to do for him of an evening. He didn’t like SoulChurch and he doesn’t use his brain when he’s with his friends these days. (Who does at 14?)

Maybe get him into golf. It’s great for the wee young guys.

NuffSaidSam · 24/11/2025 19:02

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 18:57

I’ve decided not to do it, so don’t need more messages telling me not to do it 😁

Also it is really unusual for a 14 year old to try alcohol (not regularly) or weed (again it’s not an actual habit). I’m not saying we are not concerned about it and trying to help him but equally, is it very unusual? (Happy to be told it is) 🤦‍♀️

I think it is quite unusual, yes. Drinking maybe a bit more normal, but I don't think most 14 year olds who are 'on the straight and narrow' so to speak, are smoking weed 3/4 times over a couple of months. It's a serious problem.

Original poster
WinoLino · 24/11/2025 19:00

HelpMeUnpickThis · 24/11/2025 18:54

@WinoLino what other interests does he have? My girls play chess online. What about the gym you go to already - do they have classes? Swimming?

He is religious but hasn’t found a church he loves. He used to play piano then stopped. He has struggled to really stick at a hobby if I’m honest. His dad does weights with him at his house and he did some fishing in the summer. It’s so much harder in the winter!

OP posts:
Original poster
WinoLino · 24/11/2025 18:57

I’ve decided not to do it, so don’t need more messages telling me not to do it 😁

Also it is really unusual for a 14 year old to try alcohol (not regularly) or weed (again it’s not an actual habit). I’m not saying we are not concerned about it and trying to help him but equally, is it very unusual? (Happy to be told it is) 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
HelpMeUnpickThis · 24/11/2025 18:54

@WinoLino what other interests does he have? My girls play chess online. What about the gym you go to already - do they have classes? Swimming?

Original poster
WinoLino · 24/11/2025 18:54

@MrsAvocet yes I think the guitar might be a good shout. He can’t wait! Will look into some groups

OP posts:
5128gap · 24/11/2025 18:52

NuffSaidSam · 24/11/2025 17:58

I'm not the OP! But I've responded to your post! Ooh! Naughty.

Show quote history

You've probably invalidated MN's insurance.

WFHforevermore · 24/11/2025 18:51

omg do what you need to!! I've done much worse

Original poster
WinoLino · 24/11/2025 18:51

@Canonlythinkofthisone

Why? Just why? You know next to nothing about my son or our lives. I came on asking for some advice about something fairly non-significant that I was considering. Got lots of helpful views and am now not going to sign my son up for the gym.

We don’t need to attend the gym less, I go 3 times a week and my ex husband usually about 4 times a week straight after work which means that he gets home about half an hour after my son from school.

My son is an amazing young person who is funny, bright and kind but just recently has been overthinking a bit which makes him feel sad (his words). Experimenting with alcohol and weed doesn’t make him a bad person or us bad parents but I’m considering all options to help him.

Please try to consider what you are saying before you post things like this on a forum, your words can have a big impact on people, lots of whom are going through very hard things while posting on here.

OP posts:
ClareBlue · 24/11/2025 18:49

He's getting into things he shouldn't be. Definitely the best way to deal with this is showing rules don't matter if you don't think they should apply or it's not convenient to abide by them. That should work.

NuffSaidSam · 24/11/2025 18:49

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 18:27

@Anna20MFGme and his father are separated and do not live together. He is a member of two different gyms, one of which I go to with our daughter. The plan was always for our son to join either one really, whichever is most convenient at the time. We were just considering pulling it forward as he has used alcohol and/or weed in the past two months on 3 or 4 occasions.

I’m not sure why you have put “for some reason it’s too inconvenient “. I’ve said the reasons it’s hard to join other gyms. They cost a lot more and are not near where we both live (10 mins from one another). Maybe it’s worth considering at some point but for now I like that my gym is 8 mins away.

I understand where you're coming from, but if your 14 year old son is using alcohol and weed that is a massive problem. If you think the answer is getting him involved in the gym then surely it's worth a longer journey/higher membership fee? I'd make the effort in these circumstances.

Wigtopia · 24/11/2025 18:48

Could you get him to a kickboxing/ boxing/ other martial arts? They are brilliant for discipline, fitness and there will be age appropriate classes for teens

Tigergirl80 · 24/11/2025 18:48

No please don’t do this . A local gym me and my daughter used to be members of used to accept members from 14. But they stopped and put it up to 16 mainly because they were using the jacuzzi and jet pool. You have to be 16 to use those. So they wouldn’t be insured if injured. Find a gym he can join. Our local leisure centre has a junior gym from 8-15.

mirrorsandlights · 24/11/2025 18:45

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So rude.

MrsAvocet · 24/11/2025 18:43

I think you have made a wise decision OP. I understand the frustration as my DS wanted to join a sports club when he was 16 but they didn't accept under 18s, but I don't think lying about his age is the way forward for all the reasons people have already mentioned.
If he is getting a guitar I wonder if it's worth looking for any groups he could join related to that? There's a music centre run by volunteers at our local theatre. It's not just classical, there's a sort of rock school part of it and they also do music technology so learn about recording techniques, how to manage the sound at gigs etc. None of my DC ever did it but quite a few of their friends did and it seemed to be viewed as a good thing to do amongst the teenage boys. If you could find something like that it might be helpful. I know it wouldn't physically tire him out like going to the gym would but the structure and discipline of going regularly, opportunity to make new friends with common interests and the possibility of some "cool" adult role models might be good for him?

Canonlythinkofthisone · 24/11/2025 18:39

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