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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How unreasonable would it be to lie about my son’s age so he can join our gym?

184 replies

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 17:41

He’s 14. Getting into things he shouldn’t be getting into a bit. I think the gym would be a great distraction. Me, his dad and his 18 year old sister all go to the gym. It’s aged 16 and up though. I’m a rule follower at all times so I’m not saying we will do it. However, how unreasonable would it be if we were to say he is 16? Is it even possible, thinking they might want to see ID.

He will train only with us and his dad really knows what he’s doing (has spent his whole life training in the gym) so the risk of injury is lessened but of course it’s there nonetheless. Am I not thinking straight?

OP posts:
Original poster
WinoLino · 24/11/2025 20:32

I can’t keep saying it, I’m not going to lie. I’ve thought about it and changed my mind, which is what people do all the time.

OP posts:
Autumngirl5 · 24/11/2025 20:26

I find it hard to believe that a responsible parent would even consider this. Telling lies and possibly putting your son at risk.

GehenSieweiter · 24/11/2025 20:23

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 17:58

@LamentingalwaysThank you, I completely agree! No I wouldn’t sue in a million years, wouldn’t cross my mind to. Oh what a dilemma Confused

If he was seriously injured, or worse, you might change your mind.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 24/11/2025 20:22

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 19:00

He is religious but hasn’t found a church he loves. He used to play piano then stopped. He has struggled to really stick at a hobby if I’m honest. His dad does weights with him at his house and he did some fishing in the summer. It’s so much harder in the winter!

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What religion is he / are you? You mentioned Soul Church - there are some fabulous online church services if you are not able to take him to some of the group meetings.

GehenSieweiter · 24/11/2025 20:22

Lamentingalways · 24/11/2025 17:55

I would lie. If they ask for ID then just cancel. You’re not going to sue if he gets injured and he’ll be supervised.

Please refrain from responding to my post if you’re not OP. This is MY opinion and there’s no point asking for opinions on a forum if honestly leads to being roasted. Because all you get then are the people who always do the right (moral) thing answering and it actually skews the results rendering it pointless.

Please refrain from giving stupid anx potentially dangerous advice then.

PollyBell · 24/11/2025 20:20

Bufftailed · 24/11/2025 19:58

To the gym.

My DC said he was 16 when 15. I found out later but was glad he was going to the gym. It’s not like lying to get cigarettes or something. I don’t understand the insurance argument. It covers the gym in case of accident. I’m ok to take the risk.

Edited
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Why does that not surprise me, it is wrong

VickyEadieofThigh · 24/11/2025 20:13

WallaceinAnderland · 24/11/2025 17:58

It could be anything. The roof could collapse on him, he could slip or tip. He could hurt someone else by accident and would not have the insurance to cover the claim for medical treatment. Anything. That is whole point of insurance.

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Indeed. I was present in my gym only last week when a man tripped and incurred a head injury.

schoolfriend · 24/11/2025 20:10

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 18:16

Any advice regarding how to help 14 year old boys feel better about themselves without resorting to alcohol or weed?

What about some kind of martial art? Teaches discipline too

wouldratherstickpinsineyes · 24/11/2025 20:04

Why would you lie? And as someone else said, why would you show him that you think it would be acceptable to do so? Would you lie about his age so he could get a child’s ticket for train travel, for example? Or entry to a cinema? How is this different? Not every rule is there to be broken, and there’s every possibility you’d be found out.

Bufftailed · 24/11/2025 19:58

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 19:25

Join him where?

Show quote history

To the gym.

My DC said he was 16 when 15. I found out later but was glad he was going to the gym. It’s not like lying to get cigarettes or something. I don’t understand the insurance argument. It covers the gym in case of accident. I’m ok to take the risk.

Thatsalineallright · 24/11/2025 19:57

How about the while family training towards some sort of goal e.g. a half marathon. You could download a free app to help with pacing and you'd only need to pay for some good running shoes.

PurpleSkies2026 · 24/11/2025 19:56

I'm sure I've seen kids with adults in my gym. Maybe you could arrange a tour with an adult to get him into the idea. Buy some hand weights In the meantme. Or a Private PT lesson. I personally think gym is a great distraction. Brilliant for my adhd.

CantBreathe90 · 24/11/2025 19:43

I wouldn't think twice about it tbh!

justasking111 · 24/11/2025 19:43

LivingDeadGirlUK · 24/11/2025 17:43

Find a gym he can join, my 8 year old comes to the gym with us.

My grandson goes to the gym with his daddy at 8. Find out who does do this

LostMySocks · 24/11/2025 19:35

Do you have a climbing wall or bouldering gym anywhere near you?
They often have teen climbing courses so he'd be with young people his age. Climbing instructors tend to be a diverse bunch that are usually seen as a bit edgy by younger people. Climbing is great for fitness and building muscle as you're using your body weight.

PollyBell · 24/11/2025 19:33

It is for safety reasons do not do this

RaininSummer · 24/11/2025 19:32

OP... Would he be interested in cadets? You get combined forces cadets and single ones. My daughter loved air cadets at that age.

TinyGingerCat · 24/11/2025 19:30

He sounds like he could do with some more time with you or his dad. Is there some sport you can join together (park-run is always good as it’s free and you can do it in lots of places, plus he can beat you which teenage boys always enjoy). Guitar is a good idea but is not going replace socialising with mates as it’s a pretty solo activity until you teach a point you want to play with other people.

Original poster
WinoLino · 24/11/2025 19:28

mustwashmycurtains · 24/11/2025 19:23

Bloody hell people on mumsnet really are bonkers these days.
sooo many people saying they need to find another gym?’ That was not the OP’s question. Not everyone has multiple gyms near their home 🙄

I’m afraid I don’t know if is the forum for me. I’ve been here 20 years under different names but I rarely post as I see how people are spoken to on here. Maybe I just need a break! There have been some very helpful responses though and for you and others I am grateful ☺️

OP posts:
mustwashmycurtains · 24/11/2025 19:25

OP if he has appetite for working out then could you find maybe an additional activity that you could do with him - eg pickle ball lessons? Karate? Cycling?

Original poster
WinoLino · 24/11/2025 19:25

Bufftailed · 24/11/2025 19:16

Join him

Join him where?

OP posts:
mustwashmycurtains · 24/11/2025 19:23

Bloody hell people on mumsnet really are bonkers these days.
sooo many people saying they need to find another gym?’ That was not the OP’s question. Not everyone has multiple gyms near their home 🙄

MrsAvocet · 24/11/2025 19:23

WinoLino · 24/11/2025 18:54

@MrsAvocet yes I think the guitar might be a good shout. He can’t wait! Will look into some groups

I'd try to tap into that enthusiasm if possible. I think that having a passion for something is really beneficial in the teenage years, and it doesn't really matter what the "thing" is (within reason!) All my DC had various hobbies through their teens and I really think that helped keep them out of trouble. For starters, obviously if they have something that is time consuming it limits the opportunity for getting up to no good, but I think it's more than that - I think it helps with self esteem and a sense of who you are, and meeting other like minded youngsters is a big plus. Doesn't really matter if it's a sport, music, art, coding, anything really as long as it's positive. If the guitar is his current enthusiasm I'd try to take advantage of that. If it's something that he's initiated it's more likely to last than something that you suggest anyway.
It's a tricky stage but you sound like a caring Mum who's trying to do the right thing so hopefully everything will settle down soon.

DisappointedD · 24/11/2025 19:22

We did lie for my DS but he was 15 not 14, so just changed his year of birth by one year. No one ever checked and I know there was a risk with insurance etc but we decided to risk it.

Bufftailed · 24/11/2025 19:16

Join him