How unreasonable would it be to lie about my son’s age so he can join our gym?

Obliged? No one is obliged to sue anyone, least of all their parents.

What makes you think it’s a good idea to encourage a child that’s already “getting into the wrong stuff”, that lying is ok? You think it’s a good idea?

alexandrosthenics alex alvanis

Have a look at his stuff. Might be his cup of tea

Also as a random sports throw out. Several years ago I did an archery course which was lots of fun. It was at my old school and the age range was 12+ I think 🤔 Again takes some practice to get really good but it's also quite a fun/cool hobby to do that takes up time he'd be spending hanging around the streets. Plus he'd make some mates into it as well.

Lots of places have taster 6wk courses. And obviously if he was into it there competitions, demos and so forth to attend 👍

What about calthsetics? He can practice at home and his dad can help him. There's a few popular young tiktok/youtubers out there around 14-16 doing some really cool stuff right now. I think one is called Jonah Calthsetics whose 14. He does loads of one arm balancing, on the floor, blocks, and there's a guy who does one arm stands on the rolling half ball thing.

Obviously takes hours of training, practice and discipline. But it's quite "cool" too.

It’s really not a great example to set him, especially if he’s ‘getting into things he shouldn’t’ - you need to be teaching him to accept boundaries and use good judgement.

I know you’ve said you won’t lie, @WinoLino - I’ve read the thread.

But I can’t help imagining where a child in that situation was seriously injured and then obliged to sue his parents for knowingly taking him there when he was underage …

Very, he won’t be insured if he gets injured.

the rules are in place for a reason

Hey OP, I won’t tell you not to do it again 🤣 but glad you’ve made that decision, you’d absolutely ruin your own relationship with the gym if they found out.

Have you considered other training with discipline for him? Boxing clubs? Rugby training is excellent too. Maybe run something like that by him - a friend of mine coaches teenagers and he says sports like this transform them. He taught teens MMA for a while too and said that was fantastic.

We did with ds1 but he was only 3 months off being 18 (the age needed to go when the gym was unstaffed). Still not right but far closer to the correct age than your DS is @WinoLino. Do you think he would pass for 16? At 14 ours definitely wouldn’t have.

Surely they will ask for id

Insurance aside I also think if he’s starting to get into trouble showing him that it’s ok to break rules if it suits you is a bad example to set.

I have a 13 year old and some of her friends go to the local council gym. So I’d start looking into options even if it’s a longer drive. It’s a dangerous age (I was a mess as a teenager and definitely had smoked and drank by then, it wasn’t a good time and took me years to get out of it).

otherwise consider boxing, martial arts (my son does taekwando and it’s a nice mix of ages and genders), bouldering (my daughter loves it and the local place has a teen group you can join. She’s too busy or she’d be a member for sure). Maybe parkour? Is he into board games or anything like that? And definitely look for music options if he’s a musician - there might be a teen group of some sort he could try.

I never had any hobbies and had way too much free time as a teenager. I’ll drive my daughter anywhere to keep her busy!

As a teacher this drives me insane. All our local gyms are full of 14 year old kids I teach because their parents lie about their age.

Even if I wasn't a teacher I don't want to hang around with children!

“Getting into things he shouldn’t be getting into”

He needs your time and attention, not a gym.

My 14yr old joined a 16+ gym. Loads of their friends the same age were members too. Kickboxing was a great activity too until an unreated injury meant he could go for a few months.

At 14, I don't think its unusual to be experimenting with alcohol and drugs.

Gym culture can have its downsides too so sport might be a better bet. Not sure that playing guitar makes drug taking less likely! Brazilian jiu jitsu, Muay Thai or climbing all have fairly healthy subcultures full of potential role models as well as being a good way to burn off some worries.

I admire people who can change their mind.

On topic, boxing might be worth looking at (or some other martial art like Muay Thai). They offer discipline and also intrinsic rewards like impressive skills, strength, fitness, and things like endorphins which if he is feeling sad, may help to lift him.

Or (and I know this is a long and wild shot for a teenage boy) a decent yoga class- for many of the same reasons. Something like Ashtanga, Forrest, Power, Rocket, or Vinyasa Flow would usually offer a strong workout as well as the other benefits that yoga can bring like improved mood, sleep, regulation and so on.

Are there any outdoor gyms at the local park?

We have a few dotted around that you could go to as a family?

Could he join another sports club? Martial arts? Running? Racquet sports?

In your case I would speak to the gym. Three of you are paying membership, presumably good, considerate people.

is it insurance or is it for the comfort of other members? you will not know until you ask.

they may say, sorry, go away. Or they may say yes that’s fine but only if you are there and you sign x disclaimer.

or yes between these times.

I think most places are happy to try and help members if they can. or they may reconsider their approach overall.

while part of me leans to the who cares, don’t mention it, this isn’t sneaking into an attraction for the wrong age and a ban would impact your daughter.

Definitely lied to get my kids into cinema, how bad am i