If you have a very long term or life-long single friend / relative (or you are one yourself) how do you treat them (you are treated)?

I dont think.how people treat others is based on their relationship status surely? My friends are my friends. I treat then the same single or not.

Do you feel like you are being unfairly treated or left out?

I have been single for most of 22 years but have 4 older kids, youngest 22. I have a big family and a few good friends but most are in a couple. I really don't like going out to pubs etc as I don't drink and don't like being around drunk ppl. I meet friends for coffee, see family all the time and see my kids often and speak to them all the time. I went on holiday on my own for a week in July it was 😊. My oldest daughter has a 7 year old and is expecting in Spring, so I am going to be busy.
I do not want to meet a partner, I think ppl just accept me, probably don't ask me to do some things knowing I don't want to go to pubs. But I am really happy with my life.

yours is a bit of a strange question, as though you are looking for a particular response.

I treat my oldest friend, over 40 years, with respect the same way they treat me. The same goes for my longest living relatives.

Why do you ask?

I think I treat them the same as any other friend. I guess I spend more time with my single friend(s) than the ones in couples but that's more down to having more interests in common than anything connected to them being single.

I do know one long term single friend who says that she's often treated with a bit of suspicion by women in relationships.

id say if anyone were to treat you any different then they’re a twat

Long term single and treated totally normally by friends and family. Can’t imagine why they wouldn’t to be honest.

I think you need to say specifically what you’re looking for OP.
Do you mean being invited to couples events? Getting a plus one at a wedding? Being invited to peoples houses for brunch?

my best friend is single, hasn’t had a man/ relationship in maybe 15 years. She comes to my house at least twice a month to hangout with me (and whatever combination of husband/ two kids are around). We text most days/ speak on the phone often.
before I had my kids if hubby (or boyfriend at the time) were going out for a casual drink we’d sometimes invite her. Definitely invite if a group event.

I think that how financially well off your friends are can potentially make a huge difference to how much you see them, as a single person.

If they have the money for girls holidays, weekends away etc, then it’s easier to keep having those shared new experiences that feed the friendship and keep it going.

I’m not particularly wealthy and neither are my friends. So when you only have money for one holiday, one theatre trip, one night out - you go with your partner and/or family. The single friend is always deprioritised.

I was quite sad recently when I asked a friend if she'd like to go to see a musical with me. She said no, because she would feel guilty going without her children, who would love to see a musical, so she’s saving up to go and see one with them next year instead.

There’s only so many times you can invite a friend round to your house for coffee. At some point you need to make new memories together, it’s just unfortunate that time and money are in short supply these days.

Just like anyone else as a human being, unless there is some issues you are not saying this all sounds a weird question

I have a close friend who has been single for about 14 years when her partner left. We have children the same age and became friends when our youngests were in nursery together. She's brilliant, funny and fiercely independent and I love her. I don't think I treat her any differently to my other friends but I'm probably more mindful to drop round with a cooked meal if she's poorly as she lives on her own, that kind of thing.

Why do you ask OP? Do you feel that your friends treat you differently because you're single?

What's your experience @Idontthinkibelonghere ?

I’ve got a single DAunt and some single female friends - I treat them the same as I treat everyone else I know. I never invite couples-only to things or exclude singles if that’s what you’re asking.

I dont have any life long single friends but I have a very close friend who has been single over 10 years. I love her and value her friendship immensely. She is funny and gorgeous and very successful so I suppose I feel a bit frustrated for her that she hasn't found a man who treats her as well as she deserves yet (and I know that she would like a partner.) I dont feel sorry for her though, she has a great life, good career and beautiful home. I am interested in her dating life and ask about it, and she loves my kids and gets on well with my husband. However we still talk about all the things that we connected on when we met 20 years ago and laugh like we are still teenage girls! Admittedly there have been fewer cocktail nights and girls holidays while my DC are small but I make a real effort to see her as much as I can and plan time for the two of us to catch up properly without my kids!!

I’ve been single for fifteen years. I don’t think anyone treats me any differently tbh.

My friends go on holidays a couple of times a year (just the women) and with the men (UK long weekend) once every 12-18 months. I still go even though I am the only single one. There’s no hideous pda going on, just a load of mutual piss taking.

Nights out are 80% just women and 20% with their DPs.

I have long term single friends and am long term single.

I am treated normally. When I was in my 20s / 30s I was badgered about my marital status and what I was doing to change that. Now I am almost 50 they have given up the badgering.

@Irememberwhenitwasallfieldsroundhere That sounds like a lovely, life enhancing friendship for you both.

My oldest and closest friend is single and has been for most of the 40 odd years I've known her. She lives some distance away from me but we meet up at least once a month and enjoy a day or two together. We go on camping trips together and always do something special around our birthdays and Christmas. We message each other almost every day about what we're up to and talk crap endlessly. After my husband she's the first person I'd call if I had trouble and I would drop everything if she needed me.

She's wonderful. Clever, funny, adventurous and beautiful. She's very comfortable in her own skin and not interested in a relationship as she's happy as she is. She loves her family, dog, friends and has a wonderful life.

I don't think of her as single - just as her. I probably treat her better than my other friends as I love her so much.

I’m single, after divorce. Have mixed feelings about another relationship so don’t really date much. My close friends treat me no differently, if anything they probably look after me more than they did when I was married - often invite me and DD over for Sunday lunch or whatever. I’m very lucky. My friends are really important to me too and I always reciprocate the invitations, remember their birthdays, etc.

My very dearest friend is long term single. When ds was born I remember she said something along the lines of 'things will never be the same again, they will change' and I got the sense she was worried about the shifting of our relationship (for context we had both been single many years and did lots of stuff together).
It was quite hard in the early days (also because of geographical distance - she lives about 90 miles away) but we both made a huge effort - she with ds and me to make time for just to 2 of us. Our friendship is better than ever - ds is now grown up and I have more time and we have sort of slid back to our 30's at times 😀, have weekends away, meet in a city that is equidistant for the day. Maybe it's because we both had to work a bit at it? We understand the value of what we have.

Yes most of this resonates. The socialising with other couple friends and a sort of odd view that if you single it's because you're too picky or unlucky or just feeling sorry for you. Also financially trying to run your own house and pay for it when I have so many friends who have husbands who are high earners by now who possibly don't appreciate I'm still working a full week and still wanting to take the next step up to make a better life for us all, I don't even talk about work to some of them.

I generally try not to feel bitter either and just talk to the single friends who get it.

The same way I treat any of my friends?
What does their relationship status have to do with it?
I mean, we have her spare front door key, and don't do thst for anyone else. But noone else has asked.

I have many friends who are long term single, people I’ve been friends with for 20+ years (we’re all in our 40s). I don’t treat them any differently to anyone else, DH and I tend to have our own sets of friends so we don’t socialise as a pair either. They’re just my friends and their relationship status is neither here nor there.

I have friends of both sexes for whom this is normal. I don't treat them any differently why would I? Meeting someone hasn't happened for them, that isn't excuse to cut ties at all. It's just a different sort of life. I try to be inclusive if they are free for whatever I'm doing great if not no great shakes. We're there for each other regardless of relationship status.

I'm long term single and I have plenty of friends, both single and couples. Being single doesn't make you a leper and singletons don't all lack social skills.

I'm the single one in my family (and a lone parent, to my mother's horror) and I get treated like a slightly dim teenager. I'm 44.

My friends have known me since we were little and treat me no different to how they always have!