MIL Christmas present demand

Yabu and Abit controlling. What can't a Granny buy a present for their grandchild. Suggest a few things your dc needs.

I could never stop my parents/ in laws buying presents! It gives them so much joy! I’d either just accept they are getting a lot of presents or buy less myself and put money into savings.

Has she bought things you wanted to buy - meaning either you couldn’t or your child ended up with 2 ? Or is it because you want to be able to buy them but you can’t and you have a bit of jealousy over that?

jealousy is understandable but it’s your child misses out.

I think it’s unreasonable to demand only money - unless it’s huge items. You can always say just don’t get xyz as we are getting that

How is the MIL being the demanding one here? You can't just tell people what to buy you and your kids for Christmas!

My MIL used to ask what to buy then get annoyed 🤷‍♀️when suggestions were made. I quickly learnt not to engage, as MIL would do as she wanted anyway.
If your MIL is buying huge gifts like bikes etc, that are usually the preserve of the parent, I can see why you might be pissed off.

People can give gifts to other people / children whenever they wish. They dont have to ask permission.

Not only are you being unreasonable you are being extremely ungrateful.

You feel like your MIL is “overstepping” because she’s buying her grandchild physical gifts to open.

Good grief.

This 100pc

I wonder if this was a bot - based in user name and hasn’t returned.

I know people are busy/work etc. but if you’ve just posted then surely you’d return sooner.

I don't think it's your MIL who's making the "demand" here, is it? She wants to give a present. You are demanding money instead.

A grandparent giving a present and being excited to see a grandchild open is a perfectly reasonable part of being a grandparent, and brings both parties joy.

She’s not bringing a sack of plastic market tat.

You could suggest a small-volume gift within MIL’s budget for her to give, and then you spend less and put the difference in savings .

I could be wrong (and influenced by my own circumstances) but I didn't read this as OP saying only she and her DH should be able to buy physical presents - more that DMIL was buying the same physical presents that they'd wanted to buy.

I can sympathise with that - my DMIL has a habit of asking what we are getting for the DC and what we think she should get. She then ignores the latter and buys the former, which has been a bit annoying with "milestone" type presents like the DC's first bike.

Vouchers and cash in savings is a shit present for small DCs. There’s nothing open which is the actual point of the gift. You are being not only unreasonable but ridiculous. Why shouldn’t grandma buy her DGCs a nice present and have the pleasure of watching them open it with excitement.

You are coming across as being controlling and quite hard work.

It’s up to your MIL what gifts she buys her grandchild. Best way to solve it is for your DP to give gift ideas to MIL.

Why are you so insecure about your MIL buying your child gifts? Do you think DC will love her granny more than you?
I think you are being Very unreasonable.

Can you give MIL some suggestions of what DC would like - board games, clothes, Lego, a doll, things that your DC will love without them being the “wow” present - this is what we do and DP always makes sure that it’s us that’s giving the item that will be loved the most!

It’s not always the biggest or most expensive gift that will be loved the most - last year DS favourite gift was a multipack of Hot Wheels cars that cost £10.00 in Asda and came from Santa.

My late MIL would tell our children that she had bought them more Premium Bonds and give them a small selection box.

I thought that too, wicked MIL was demanding a huge diamond ring or something!
Your poor MIL, words not often seen on MN!

My best ever present was from my grandparents. My parents had no money (tbh my grandparents didn't have much either) so my grandad made a Chopper bike from various old Choppers found at dumps. It even had a bespoke purple and silver airbrushed paint job - he learned how to do this just for the bike. I cannot tell you the incredible joy this brought me and the GP's were chuffed to bits at my obvious delight. My grandad was even a bit teary - I was THAT happy.

My parents were just pleased that I had a present they would have found impossible to give me.

Joy - that's what you want at Christmas. Joy that you remember forever.

It is a bit shit for the parents when the grandparents' presents are better than the parents' presents.

Have you tried asking her if she'll go in on a big present with you?

YABU for being pissed off with MIL. It’s not really overstepping for her to want to give her grandchild an actual present. Maybe suggest smaller items that take up less space? Or a day out/activity she can take child to? Panto, zoo etc.

The great thing about gift giving is you get to choose what you gift. It’s not overbearing, it’s literally what gift giving is about.

She wants to give a present, she was asking for an idea of a toy they would appreciate she feels it is a bit boring giving money/voucher. Give her a suggestion that will be exciting for the child but not too big to store.

Where is the joy in transferring money?

All six of my adult nephews want money this Christmas. I will do it but am not best pleased. It is so transactional. Nothing to open to say thank you for.