MIL Christmas present demand

Whats their faces like when they unwrap a present they dont like?

We've been very clear for a long time about getting one gift only because DC got completely overwhelmed with the multiple presents from PIL they got at their first Christmas so I totally get where you are coming from about limiting it. But to not allow even one present is really mean of you.

Sorry OP, but even your title is unreasonable. Your MIL wants to buy her granddaughter a gift. This is hardly something a Grandmother should have to demand. So you want her to just save money for your child while you get the adoration and excitement of giving gifts. I can still see the excitement on my son’s face from ten years ago when my Mum gave him a huge Lego set. The joy and the big hug she got when he opened it. Don’t take that away from your mother in law. Let the kids have whatever it is, play with it and when they are done Facebook marketplace sell it and put the money in her account.

She wants to see the child's face light up as they unwrap her present. Not unreasonable tbh

Unless I've grossly misunderstood this I think you're being ridiculous and weird. Why shouldn't their grandmother be able to buy them presents?

One of my fond childhood Christmas memories is the excitement of knowing Grandma is on her way with a present and usually some good chocolates!

Kids will have no understanding that she's given money for you to put in their savings, why would you deprive both them and her of the enjoyment of sharing the giving of a present?

So you don’t want MIL to get your DD presents that your DD would like….. because you are not able to give them ? Because it takes away your special place as chief gift giver ?

Why is it that you want to spend money on buying your DC some actual presents rather than putting money into savings accounts for them but you think it's an overstep for MiL to want the same?

Yes, OP demanding MIL load in money rather than give a nice thoughtful gift she can see DGC open 😂

There is a middle ground here though.

give her suggestions for physically smaller presents. I do feel for you as my MiL bought a trampoline for our postage stamp garden. 🙄😂

When I was little my grandparents used to give me a charm for my charm bracelet. I had charms on it from when I was born. So grandparents got to see me open something and my parents didn’t have to store anything big or cumbersome.

Could that be an option?

I understand how you feel. But a gift is voluntary and you can’t really dictate what she gives if she didn’t go with the suggestion. She’s entitled to buy a gift and see the joy of them opening or using it. Just look at it as a nice thing they want to do.

which took away from what we as parents were able to do
yabvu

she isn’t stepping on toes she has asked what dc would like. Just be a normal person and let her buy a physical gift.

"Demand"🙄🙄

Do you like to see the joy in your daughter’s face when you give a gift? Would you prefer to not give her anything and put all the money in savings?

little kids love presents. I think you’re being very selfish not to let your child’s own grandparents give her at least one gift. Young children have no concept of money, so I don’t see how it’s taking anything away from you (which is an odd thing to say anyway) as your child won’t know she’s spent more than you.

My mum was the same. Got so much pleasure from giving my DC something they loved. She died when they were very young and I love that they have things she bought them as a tangible reminder of how much care she put into their gifts. DS in his 20s still has a beloved toy she got him on a shelf, and it's moved from place to place with him over the years. I would have had no business denying either of them that.

Look, there were plenty of times when money was tight for me as a single parent. There were plenty of times my kids got from their grandparents things I wish I could have provided. Did it sting? Yes. Was that my cross to bear? YES! I’m not going to let my child go without because my ego will be bruised seeing someone in their twilight years get their grandchild a treat for Christmas.

You really need to give your head a good shake here. You think this is about the child, it isn’t. It’s about yourself and how it makes you feel. You want all the firsts, you want to provide all the nice things and treats. Let go a little. It won’t kill you. Your child won’t love you less. Seriously. Unclench and let your child have a nice Christmas, even if you haven’t got them every single present.

I hate giving money or gift cards. I much prefer giving a gift.

Why not give her a small list of suggestions for her to choose from?

I think you and your DH are in the wrong here.

Ask for them to take her on a day trip rather than buying an item or insist that any gifts will need to stay at their house.

It's very rude to ask for money when they've said they would like to buy a gift.

You've taken away the joy of actually giving from them.

Come up with something that they will use and doesn't take up too much space and suggest that.

This.

You can't afford to get your kids the presents they'd like, so instead of being thrilled that someone else gives them nice things, you view it as you being out done? Your preference is that the kids get effectively nothing. Because I assure you - to a child, money in a savings account is nothing.

Yes. It’s about the joy kids get opening presents. Asking for money to stash is a bit clinical

It’s not a competition as to who gives the best gifts. Let her give your child a gift, I’m sure they will very much enjoy it.

YWNBU to limit gifts if they were : a dirt bike, a huge vanity mirror you don’t have any room for, the top range iPhone for your 3 year old.

YABVVU to dictate that no one besides you is allowed to give any physical present at all. The joy of gifts is in the giving and you are denying this from her family who love her. Sticking money in an account that she has no access to is rubbish and not very Christmasy at all.

Giving a gift is so much nicer for a Grandparent- there must be something she can get!