MIL Christmas present demand

Surely it’s up to the giver what they do? My children get presents that I wish they hadn’t but it’s the thought that counts.

I'm afraid you sound jealous and controlling. You are harming your children's relationship with their grandparents.

I would love for people to give my child money so we don't need to try and allocate our budget to savings for uni etc...but people want to give gifts so they can see the joy. I totally understand that,
We're limited on space so I usually think about what mine wants and/or need them if people ask I'm ready. And I pick things I know they'd like to gift
So if someone is really into reading and thinks it's important I will ask them for books
Or if someone loves the outdoors I'll think of a suitable outdoors toy like a scooter.
People are so generous that tbh it ends up that we don't really get anything off us as they always have so much stuff. And it's a bit sad that we're not the ones gifting, but at the end of the day my child is happy, the gift giver is happy and that means a lot to me

Exactly this!

Fair enough.

Can’t you ask them to get something that would free up extra money for something else? I do this with my dad if there are a few expensive presents that my children want I ask him to get. My DS (15) wants a jacket that costs £140 so my dad will buy that and I can bulk out his gifts off us for that amount

Don't give her the pleasure of over-ruling you.

Poor kids, poor grandparents...

If it's a gift you'd have preferred came from you then match the value & put the amount in your childs savings account yourself & let MIL buy it. If your child is getting presents from others then it'll save you buying things so you can put what you would've spend in their savings account.

I think asking for cash/vouchers is rude. I'd be offended, don't now push your luck.

Well we know she likes things all her way ...

@MrsSkylerWhite I know. I was just responding to the many posts saying children don’t like getting money/voucher as a present

That’s not what OP is suggesting.

I think OP was hoping this would be a MIL bashing thread. Never mind.

Kids don't really think too much about who gives them what present, particularly when young. They definitely don't equate it with who cares most for them. When older they will be perfectly happy with cash - though they may want to spend rather than save. You're not competing with MiL, just give her a couple of suggestions to choose from.

MIL wants to buy her grandchild a gift, I demand that she does not - a far better heading.

OP has done a bunk anyway.

DGs love seeing the look on their little faces when they open the gift. Suggest something that MIL can buy. Vouchers/money don't have that same wow factor as a physical present for kids.

YABU to think it takes anything away from what you’re able to do.

Surely there’s a compromise to be reached? My own parents spend (what I feel is) silly money on my DC at Christmas and birthday. They are separated and each spend around £150 on DC for each occasion. Birthday and Christmas also fall within 6 weeks of each other so it’s just far too much stuff.
They now give “something to open” - maybe £10-20 value and put some money in DCs savings.

You want money.
Your kid will want a present to unwrap on the day.
She wants to give her grandkid a present on Christmas day and you think she's pushing boundaries 🙄 my goodness woman. In this instance I think it's you who is being totally unreasonable.

I would not give money so physical gift or nothing imo, money or similar is not a gift it is a demand and grabby I feel

We have always been controlled by one of our dc when it comes to presents and we look at the dgc faces when they open the present and see their faces. Oh. Another voucher to go shopping with a parent to be told what to buy with said voucher. The parents are happy but the children not so.

This is tricky, I must be abit precious OP as I see where you are coming from. what does your partner/husband feel? i'd just buy what you want and ignore her, if she gets the same thing that's her issue for not listening or respecting the guidance you've given. I find it odd that others don't seem bothered about certain toys being special to purchase. Grandparents have had their turn so should respect the parents. especially if space is an issue. not sure if that helps but i'm sorry for you.

Pop anything that you can’t store on Vinted if she’s not going to listen to you lol

Agree with the others - totally reasonable to want to give a physical gift and I actually think she’s been very considerate in asking you what she can get for DD rather than just choosing something herself. She wants to make sure whatever she gets will be something DD actually wants AND has your approval.

Would be nice to ask if she could get something useful like books or clothes if she is set on buying a gift