Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

my boss wants me to go on a course, I don't want to waste my time AIBU?

120 replies

PersephoneSmith · 24/11/2025 13:16

Please can you help me decide if I should just suck it up and attend or make a big deal about how I shouldn't have to do it?

Course is in person, about 3 hours in a classroom, in another city, so will mean expensive peak time train journey as well.

I wrote the course material and used to deliver the course for the company, before being promoted last year. I trained the person who now delivers the course.

My boss says I have to attend because 'it is mandatory'

AIBU?

OP posts:
LoveWine123 · 25/11/2025 18:15

Nanny0gg · 25/11/2025 10:37

But she wrote it!!

And surely knowing it is the important part!!

If just showing up is the important thing then the world has truly gone to hell in a handbasket

Some trainings are linked to a company’s license to operate so it’s imperative that they can prove everyone in the company has taken the training. The same training is done every year (with the content refreshed every so often but usually not annually) and employees have to take it every year regardless of the fact they “know” the content. Some industries are highly regulated and this is linked to regulatory compliance. It’s nothing to do with knowing the content.

harriethoyle · 25/11/2025 17:37

@PersephoneSmith why don’t you make a request for the reasonable adjustment of remote attendance based on a) the additional carer expense and b) the unpredictable difficulty of train travel in your wheelchair?

PersephoneSmith · 25/11/2025 17:25

PeloMom · 25/11/2025 17:22

That’s not 100% true. There are people who are uncomfortable with big crowds/ will have to leave way too early/ a lot of other reasons and would expect accommodation to that as their normal place of work isn’t a train ride away ( they have ensured their day to day lives are structured in a way that works for them). It’s different only if a person takes similar distance train in rush hour every day but for training suddenly can’t .

Sorry I don’t understand what you mean. That doesn’t relate to my employer having any responsibility for my safety whilst travelling on a train.

OP posts:
PersephoneSmith · 25/11/2025 17:22

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 25/11/2025 12:27

Yes, I'm aware.

Let’s say they pay for me and my carer to stay in a hotel, costs a lot of money right? But they do it because they have been told they have to.

Next lot of useful training comes up the manager may well remember that it is expensive to send Persephone on courses and decides to offer the training opportunity to someone else. She doesn’t say anything to anyone, the same way a potential new employer offers the job to the able bodied candidate, not the disabled one.

Without ever admitting there was a bias. Nothing to see here, we just gave the job to the best candidate on the day.

OP posts:
PeloMom · 25/11/2025 17:22

PersephoneSmith · 25/11/2025 17:16

No, nothing has changed about the course, it’s just learning to use our software, which I helped create and then wrote the training materials for.
I am still curious about the risk assessment thing. If an able bodied person has to get a train to a new location for work no one says ‘are you going to be safe getting there on the train ?’

Why on earth would it be any different for me? The train company has the duty to make sure the journey is safe for all of its passengers. Nothing to do with my employer.

That’s not 100% true. There are people who are uncomfortable with big crowds/ will have to leave way too early/ a lot of other reasons and would expect accommodation to that as their normal place of work isn’t a train ride away ( they have ensured their day to day lives are structured in a way that works for them). It’s different only if a person takes similar distance train in rush hour every day but for training suddenly can’t .

PersephoneSmith · 25/11/2025 17:16

No, nothing has changed about the course, it’s just learning to use our software, which I helped create and then wrote the training materials for.
I am still curious about the risk assessment thing. If an able bodied person has to get a train to a new location for work no one says ‘are you going to be safe getting there on the train ?’

Why on earth would it be any different for me? The train company has the duty to make sure the journey is safe for all of its passengers. Nothing to do with my employer.

OP posts:
Somersetbaker · 25/11/2025 16:34

Are you sure that the course material hasn't changed since the last time you gave the course? Company policies about operations and compliance with the law are always changing, it may be as simple as the way contracts are determined in some markets now needs more careful scrutiny. It may not be obvious that the US ban on certain exports to China, also affects UK companies if they are using components that were ultimately sourced from the US, despite the UK company ordering them from Germany. This is the sort of thing that is covered in refresher courses.

Firefumes · 25/11/2025 15:08

WhereDidSummerGoAgain · 25/11/2025 03:48

Where does it say the OP will get a qualification out of it?

I'm astonished at the number of posters here who think it's fine for the OP's time to be wasted like this.

So what if the boss wants her to do it. They are plainly being ridiculous.

Christ

You do realise that as an employee, you get paid to follow management instructions? Pushing back on mandatory learning is a pointless hill to die on. Your cards will be marked as being difficult and not a team player. Possibly even subordinate, given that managers are allowed to allocate you work.

shuddacuddadidnt · 25/11/2025 12:52

Mumofteenandtween · 24/11/2025 13:19

Loving the hilarity of you on the course that you wrote!

I once had my new team leader pull out procedures I had written, to explain them to me. After that I put my name on each page of all documents I produced.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 25/11/2025 12:27

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 25/11/2025 12:23

They'd need to pay for someone to accompany her, (preferably her carer if their able/willing), stay over & help her get showered/dressed in the morning too.

a lot of hassle & expense to attend a course she wrote!!

Yes, I'm aware.

Sartre · 25/11/2025 12:24

Suck it up. It’s fully paid and mandatory.

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 25/11/2025 12:23

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 25/11/2025 10:32

Would the company let you travel up the night before in off-peak times and stay in a hotel? Forget about the cost, it's not coming out of your pocket.

They'd need to pay for someone to accompany her, (preferably her carer if their able/willing), stay over & help her get showered/dressed in the morning too.

a lot of hassle & expense to attend a course she wrote!!

marcopront · 25/11/2025 11:13

Have you specifically asked why is it mandatory for me to attend a course I wrote and trained the person who is delivering it?

Ponoka7 · 25/11/2025 11:02

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 25/11/2025 06:58

Why does it need to be good for you?
I think it's good, you don't, end of.

This being a discussion forum, which means an exchange of ideas etc, I mearly asked what's good about it, obviously nothing.

Runningincircles · 25/11/2025 11:02

Is your boss the top boss, or is there someone above them that you could run this situation by?
They probably would see it as a waste of company time and money, then tell you not to go.

Is your boss trying to make things difficult for you in any other ways?

mysodapop · 25/11/2025 10:49

Sorry if someone has already suggested but can you ask them to set up a zoom link in the room so you can attend that way as a reasonable adjustment to train travel in a wheelchair in this country being so awful?

I am able bodied and get the train a lot and often see people.in wheelchairs hanging around waiting for station staff and ramps. I think you'd probably end up late for the class anyway!

Shedmistress · 25/11/2025 10:44

I used to be what we called a 'training adviser' and the first thing I'd always do when working with a company is question their 'mandatory training' as there was usually zero point on post of it.

In a situation like yours, it is a complete waste of time and effort and I'd challenge the bosses to revisit the whole 'mandatory training' schedule as it is obviously utterly batshit.

LBOCS2 · 25/11/2025 10:43

Putting aside the course contents, I do think the drip feed is relevant because it would be perfectly reasonable to ask for reasonable adjustments in terms of travel and attendance. So that sort of does cross off the travel/attendance bit.

having to attend a course you wrote is just generally bonkers, although I can see what a PP said about reviewing the course delivery could be quite interesting. Are you able to test out of the course? We have mandatory courses at work that we have to do annually (feels more frequent tbh) and we can skip to the end and take the test - if you pass it you don’t have to go through the course materials, but if you don’t then it’s probably worth doing the refresher. Might that be an option?

Nanny0gg · 25/11/2025 10:37

LoveWine123 · 24/11/2025 16:43

Depending on the purpose of the mandated training it's not about knowing the material, it's about evidencing you have taken the training.

But she wrote it!!

And surely knowing it is the important part!!

If just showing up is the important thing then the world has truly gone to hell in a handbasket

teaandtoastwouldbenice · 25/11/2025 10:36

I thought you were being unreasonable until I saw you wrote the course material ! That’s a hilarious waste of time.

If you have to go, coffee on train, turn off your emails, see how training is being done now and call it a day off.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 25/11/2025 10:32

PersephoneSmith · 24/11/2025 21:24

Thank you everyone, I will try to suck it up as suggested, try to make the best of it.

Would the company let you travel up the night before in off-peak times and stay in a hotel? Forget about the cost, it's not coming out of your pocket.

Whatsthatsheila · 25/11/2025 10:26

PersephoneSmith · 25/11/2025 09:05

There are some very good suggestions here, thank you all.
To answer a couple of questions, no one has ever suggested they need to do a risk assessment for my travel, it’s really not a thing. It sounds infantilising.

There’s a fine line between asking for adjustments and for things like special taxis to be provided, and being seen as the needy disabled pain in the arse. I’m sure I’m not the only wheelchair user who prefers to keep my head under the parapet.

it will cost me extra for the carer to come early, there’s a knock on effect, as she then has to use her childminder to take her kids to school rather than do it herself. Asking for this money back from the company would be a big example of head above parapet.

There’s nothing legal or required about the training course. It is a lesson on how to best use our proprietary software. There are no refresher courses. Like riding a bike, once you know how to do it, job done. My boss is fully aware that I wrote the training material.

I’m not sure who suggested risk assessments- but there needs to be a degree of risk assessment for anyone and anything really … it’s enshrined in law so if for some reason your travel arrangements were inherently unsafe then that does need to be factored in

for example asking an epileptic to get a train at 6 in the morning from Manchester to London to be present for a meeting when they would probably normally get up at 7 to start work locally at 9 - unacceptable risk - risk assessment would therefore dictate a reasonable adjustment of travelling down the day before and staying overnight on expenses. Or attending remotely.

someone else mentioned checking the venue is accessible. This also means a risk assessment. Can you easily leave if there was an emergency evacuation ?

I get that you are very independent but people are only trying to help with suggestions. I don’t think they are trying to infantilise the situation or cause offence.

and no - asking for the additional cost to cover the additional care is not putting your head above the parapet!! The meeting is creating a disadvantage, the costs should be met!

going back to the example with epilepsy above, if the person needed someone to accompany them in case of illness, then those persons costs should also be met.

By not holding the company to account for the adjustments they are legally obliged to make then you make the process harder for the people that follow you.

have you actually told your boss that attending the course will cause disadvantage because of the barriers it creates or have you just said you don’t want to go because you feel it’s pointless??

WalkDontWalk · 25/11/2025 09:27

I'd be fascinated to see a course I'd written being given by someone else. I'd like to discover what they bring to it. I'd want to see what bits worked well and not so well, depending on how they were delivered. I'd be interested in whether any of it had dated. I'd like to think I'd left room for the presenter to bring in their own stuff and to adapt the material to their own style.

In fact, now I start to ponder it, I think it should be mandatory for the writers of courses to attend them once a year.

PersephoneSmith · 25/11/2025 09:05

There are some very good suggestions here, thank you all.
To answer a couple of questions, no one has ever suggested they need to do a risk assessment for my travel, it’s really not a thing. It sounds infantilising.

There’s a fine line between asking for adjustments and for things like special taxis to be provided, and being seen as the needy disabled pain in the arse. I’m sure I’m not the only wheelchair user who prefers to keep my head under the parapet.

it will cost me extra for the carer to come early, there’s a knock on effect, as she then has to use her childminder to take her kids to school rather than do it herself. Asking for this money back from the company would be a big example of head above parapet.

There’s nothing legal or required about the training course. It is a lesson on how to best use our proprietary software. There are no refresher courses. Like riding a bike, once you know how to do it, job done. My boss is fully aware that I wrote the training material.

OP posts:
Lurkingandlearning · 25/11/2025 08:38

The important issues have been well covered. I just want to add something possibly light hearted in a way, but I think might give OP some satisfaction.

If after attending the course you are asked to give feedback, as attendees often are, please give glowing praise to the course content and note it was written by you. Some one might pick up on how ridiculous it was to make your attendance mandatory. If they do and have the gumption to admit that to you, ask for a day off in lieu.