Attending office Christmas party with a newborn at home

Sounds like it will be good for everyone. Good for baby and dad to have time to bond. Of course it's doable.

Mine were ebf. I similarly wanted to go to mine. Similar time frames, was probably out 5-6hrs in total. First little one was 2 months old, second time little one was 3 months old (but was 3 weeks early and small percentile).

Left them home with their dad. They didn't enjoy it but survived fine. DH still somewhat traumatised by the first one (I came home to him walking up and down with her in a baby carrier whilst he had earphones in to hear less of her crying) but he was pleasantly surprised how well the second took it.

For us, a practice run wouldn't have been any help. Was just a one off experience they had to survive.

I mean, if you want to go, go. What's the issue exactly?

Personally, I did go to my team's Christmas lunch when my son was 3 months old and it was a lot of fun. But I gave the evening Christmas party a miss, baby didn't sleep well and it all felt like too much faff and effort at a time of peak sleep deprivation.

Option one.
It sounds fun and you want to go then why not?

The second Christmas get together also sounds good.

I’d do option 1. Baby and Dh are more likely to be relaxed in their home environment and you haven’t got the faff of trying to remember to pack all the paraphernalia involved. Have fun! They’ll be fine.

If 5 hours not 5 days

With a baby 2.5 months old presumably you’re on mat leave? So no requirement to attend the office party. I attempted to attend a 40th birthday party when DD (exclusively BF, wouldn’t take a bottle at the time) was 3 months old, because the party was hosted by an important client of my spouse who wanted us to go together. It was a disaster and we had to dash back at 10pm. Got back at 11pm to a screaming baby and concerned grandparents. I wouldn’t do that again!

Do you want to go to the party? I would just decline the invitation. Presumably you are on maternity leave anyway. And there is no obligation to go to a Christmas party.
If you want to go thats different and I expect you could make it work. But I wouldn't leave a breast fed baby for that long

Slightly different slant on this but half the office have heavy colds, the other half have covid or are recovering from it. I'd personally be avoiding big social occasions in December and January with a newborn right now. I know you could pick it up in Costa on the high street but packed bars are statistically a breeding ground for it.

Crying and unsettled babies in a hotel.room.is so stressful because you're worried about disturbing other hotel guests. Far better to let dad handle it at home.

What is your dilemma exactly? It sounds like you want to go and you have the baby's other parent there to parent them while you are gone. Go and have fun!

It’s an evening and the baby will be with the other parent. I honestly don’t know what is such a big deal. Provided the baby can be fed, it’s perfectly ok to leave with Dad, he needs to be able to look after his child too and you will get some much needed adult company and fun. It’s a few hours not weeks.

One of my colleagues came to our Christmas do when her baby was 4 weeks old. We were all very surprised but baby was bottlefed, a great sleeper and very chilled so all was good.

I don't think i would have left mine so little. Not because I thought I "shouldn't" but they were mainly breastfed and not particularly easy. Plus I didn't have long maternity leaves so was happy to ignore work stuff while I was off.

If you really want to go, trial runs are the way forward.

Each to their own, I wouldn’t do a five hour round trip for a sober Christmas party even without a newborn!

She and DP will survive if you go OP, don’t overthink it.

I mean, I went to a party a month after my daughter was born, but it was a ten minute walk from my house and my mum was babysitting, so no judgement about going to a party from me. But I don’t understand why you are going when (presumably) on maternity leave? It wouldn’t be so bad, but why is a party venue 5 hours drive from where you live? That’s so inconvenient for all staff, surely, especially if you can only get there by car and can’t even drink. In that situation I just wouldn’t bother.

Edited to add I misread, 5 hours including 3 hours at the party isn’t too bad, not sure why you’d need to drive to a party though?

If you want to go - then it will be fine.
I went to a work Xmas party (it was just a big meal not a drinking event) when DD was 8 weeks, 1hr drive there and back. I had a great time!

She was EBF but I expressed some milk for her and she had a nice evening with her Dad - it’s handy to get them used to settling for other people.

Id skip it. If it was 10 minutes down the road then I might go for an hour. But 2 hours driving not being able to drink just sounds a bit shit. But if you want to go then baby will be fine with dh

I wouldn't have gone. I wouldn't have had the confidence any of mine would take a bottle reliably at that age and I wouldn't have had enough of a pumped supply stored to make it viable anyway. And tbh I wouldn't have found a works Xmas do important to put myself through all the effort required to make it work!

On the other hand if this matters a lot to you and you really want to go...then go. Her dad says he can manage. Formula and bottles exist and she will survive even if she spends the whole evening refusing them!

I would only go if I could pump enough and baby was consistently taking bottles from dad.

It's a long time ago now, but when ebf DS was tiny I went to the office party: DH drove me there and I fed the baby sitting in the car outside. He then looked after the baby -can't remember if he went home in between or not, he may have just prammed around and gone to cafe/pub - and then picked me up from the venue, and I fed the baby again in the car before going home.
I had expressed some beforehand, and there was formula available. I was worried about leaky boobs and had prepared for that, but at that stage I would have been quite uncomfortable going for more than 3-4 hours between feeds.

Why do you have stay for at least 3 hours OP? I can't imagine anyone will complain if a new mother just puts in an appearance for an hour or 2.

Babies at office Xmas parties? Suppose they are a subdued event.

In this situation I'd probably have taken her if the drive was OK or I'd have not bothered but then mine didn't take a bottle!

Skip it

At that age I wouldnt bother. Next year you'll be able to go for as long as you like