AIBU to feel upset about my well-off in-laws being tight with money at Christmas?

i dont think the amount spent is mean
but i guess it was a shock to you as you werent expecting it

Did you even bother to read what the GPs did?

Did you even bother to read what the GPs did?

The irony of you complaining about resentful people and then to go on resenting people who get child benefit was hilarious. Woman, know thyself.

You’re repeatedly missing the point that no one asked the GPs for the bike. They stepped in and created all this confusion and bad feeling all on their own. It would have been better had they just given a book and kept their mouths shut.

Resentment. They have brought up their families and want to do things for themselves as they are running out of time.

Children resent that. I have heard some say 'you have children for life and should help them always'.

I wonder if the end of the two child cap will bring more children and more resentment, or just give more money to those who have already built up a lot of children?

Better the government did away with child benefit entirely and gave all children a free school dinner. At least then the children would benefit.

It's the casual ageism so prevalent on Mumsnet 🤷‍♀️

How do you know if someone is really well off?

Why? Wouldn't that be a forever resentment?

Typical socialist approach.

It does sound a bit mean, but you lost me with -

"They also very rarely help with anything practical or day-to-day with him, so it’s not like they’re involved in other ways."

He’s tight with himself as well - he’s has no heating and lives in ancient clothes.
We’ve bought him electric heaters and blankets, but he is reluctant to use them - he’s 77, so not very very old.

I would just say ‘Thank you, a token would be lovely’
Yes, they are tight, but you can be the bigger person.
I’ve known people, especially elderly, who have very firm rules about giving - my uncle has never taken into account inflation, so the £5 a month 30 years ago, for eldest great niece, is still the same for the most recent.
I always think, he doesn’t have to give anything at all, it’s his money.
The tax man will have a field day when he dies.
Your son will get plenty for Xmas, and just say to him ‘Say thank you to Grandma for the book token she kindly gave you’ so that he knows it’s important to be grateful, even if you think she’s miserly.

It is mean and id feel slighted. However, it is their right. In future, if they offer to contribute to a gift, decline.

I'm always sad & annoyed when people who are really well off are the cheapest, tightest, meanest buggers you've ever met...but that's life.
If we're lucky, karma will somehow get them.

I am not surprised at all, it feels an ever increasing case of people wanting to milk what they can out of people and therefore it following down to the next generation, peoples worth only seems to be what they give another

Do you give presents to your inlaws, parents?

I am surprised the vote is in favour of wanting more at someone else's expense.

Agree. Some people need to learn more about self-discipline, delayed gratification and hard work.

It’s not nonsense. There are myriad threads on any given week by young people who begrudge older people their savings/lifestyle, and seem to think they (the younger generation) are owed a cut.

Those who want things need to get out there and earn them. Not expect continual handouts from their elders.

I find this weird chip on one's shoulder 'I think anyone with a hint of more money than me needs to do what I say with the money' odd, also people who make up backstories to fit whatever weird narrative they have going on, maybe anyone who does this needs to work on whatever issues they have going on themselves, there is so much bitterness going on if people want more money then make changes to your life and work on it out yourself

ILs are not a bank

I would like all those posters who think the inlaws are tightfisted to come out and say how much money they spend on presents and why.

If you looked at them further, you may find they have less money because they do not know how to save for the future and give fancy presents to impress in the here and now.

They are not to be congratulated for generosity, rather the opposite.

Threads like this always brings out the worst in some posters.

Why do you think they are well off? They may not be. Many people who own their own house and just manage to make their income last are unlikely to tell anyone they are not as well off as they appear.

Depending on their age, they may have already sold the equity in their house. They will still own it, because that is the sort of mortgage which isn't repaid until death.

Why do you think a present for £100, even between a birthday and Christmas is stingy because you think they can afford more? Assuming people are better off than they are is a common fault nowadays and causes pain and sorrow.

Perhaps if they were more lavish they would set a bad example to you and DS? They are wise to save for retirement if they are not already retired. Who knows what the future brings? Ms Reeves alone is enough to worry a population.

House values rise, but that doesn't mean the people who own them are rich. I wish Ms Reeves would understand that. It takes a lot of money to maintain a house too, and as people age, their costs rise, for heating for example. Tradespeople want more and more money for repairs compared with just a few years ago.