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Original poster

Take my kids out of school for lunch

58 replies

AmyJahabee · 24/11/2025 08:58

My 9 year old is not playing with anyone for the past week or so. So was thinking today to get her from school during lunchtime and spend time with her so she is not alone.
i would like her to play with other kids but I feel I can’t force it. We recently moved school but she has made friends with three girls (three girls have been friends since reception) and been playing with them. Up until two weeks ago she started playing by herself, I have encouraged her to persue the other girls and play with them she said I have but they just then play with her for little then get back to playing without her. What can I do to help her?
what can the teacher do to help?

She has written in her diary that one of the girls pushes her and talk over her when she is playing with one of the girls. I haven’t said anything directly but asked her repeatedly if that girl is been bad to her and she said no.

i don’t know what to do

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 24/11/2025 09:18

Ask the school if they have a buddy bench or something similar. Do any of the lunchtime supervisors ever do any simple more organised activities that anyone can join in. Simple things like skipping games or orange and lemons?

ItsABarbecueShowdown · 24/11/2025 09:16

Join extra curriculars out of school.

Speak to the teacher to let her know your dd might need some help.

Stop asking her who she is playing with if you are doing that. Just ask how her day was or what she did in maths. Let her tell you.

Don’t read her diary.

Invite the other two, one at a time, to play at your house. Also other dc she might like to become closer friends with.

Randomchat · 24/11/2025 09:13

In a similar situation ds came home for lunch on a Wednesday. He had to deal with the friendships and the playground the rest of the week but he had a day off in the middle.
I liked him coming home. It was a treat to just be the two of us for a while, I made him his favourite lunch, spoiled him a bit.

Joystir59 · 24/11/2025 09:09

AmyJahabee · 24/11/2025 08:58

My 9 year old is not playing with anyone for the past week or so. So was thinking today to get her from school during lunchtime and spend time with her so she is not alone.
i would like her to play with other kids but I feel I can’t force it. We recently moved school but she has made friends with three girls (three girls have been friends since reception) and been playing with them. Up until two weeks ago she started playing by herself, I have encouraged her to persue the other girls and play with them she said I have but they just then play with her for little then get back to playing without her. What can I do to help her?
what can the teacher do to help?

She has written in her diary that one of the girls pushes her and talk over her when she is playing with one of the girls. I haven’t said anything directly but asked her repeatedly if that girl is been bad to her and she said no.

i don’t know what to do

Let her weather this play ground stuff by herself. You cannot fight her battles for her. Just listen to her if and when she wants to talk about it. Three is often a problem in friendship groups

dottiedodah · 24/11/2025 09:08

Would you even be allowed to do this?it's not like years ago .when kids came home for lunch! You sound a lovely 😍 caring mum. However you have to let her negotiate her own path.its one of the hardest things as a parent. At 9 she is on the cusp of puberty .girls have complicated friendship groups.

Smartiepants79 · 24/11/2025 09:03

Well removing her from school during lunchtime is not going to help her build friendships. As a one off it might be ok if school agrees to it.
How long has she been in this new school and how old are they. I will take several months or even up to a year to be properly settled and integrated into the new school. Unless they are very little it will take time to find the right people and friendships will already be established so she will have to persevere. You’d be better off having a chat with school and seeing what can be done to help her find people to play with.

saveforthat · 24/11/2025 09:02

Also, why are you reading her diary?

saveforthat · 24/11/2025 09:01

I wouldn't do this. At 9 she needs to learn to negotiate friendships, it's hard but encourage her to approach other girls and boys and be friendly towards them. She may find new friends