Take my kids out of school for lunch

Does your school have any lunch clubs.
Our school does a crafting lunch club for the kids that find the playground overwhelming. You could speak to them about it.
Our son moved schools and used the lunch club for the whole first year he was there, he has now started to form freindships and wants to go out. Its not open to anyone, only the kids that are struggling so you might not know about it unless you ask.
Is there a wellbeing officer at the school you can speak to as they should have some options and ideas.

can she join the brownies or something op?

It's standard childhood nonsense, stay out of it.

Taking her out of school during the main social period is the absolute worst thing you could do. She needs to learn how to navigate changing friendships, social groups, conflicts etc. She can't do that if she's with you. She'll end up ever further behind.

And for goodness sake, stop reading her diary!

Dont e courage her to be friends with the 3 girls if they are not good to her.

Encourage her to look for others to play with. Ask teacher or school for help or advice on making friends.

Why did she move school?

Don't pick her up, it will exacerbate the issue.
Email the teacher and let them know your daughter is struggling at break.

My kids school would never have allowed this. At 9 she’s old enough to understand that some friendships just don’t work out. Encourage her to find some different friends to play with. It will be good practice for her before she starts high school and has to make new friends.

stop getting her to focus on these three girls, there another 20 odd mugs in her class?

taking her out every day is just helping her avoid the issue.

stop getting her to focus on these three girls, there another 20 odd mugs in her class?

taking her out every day is just helping her avoid the issue.

stop getting her to focus on these three girls, there another 20 odd mugs in her class?

taking her out every day is just helping her avoid the issue.

Just because you have time to do it doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

I was a bit like this at 9, my best friend moved away and the dynamic of the remaining group of girls really shifted and I just didn’t really feel included in the group anymore. I was and still am a bit of a loner to be fair. I did actually start going home for lunch as we lived so close to the school but my year 5 teacher put a stop to it saying I needed to integrate or at least be in the school environment for the full day. Ie no special treatment. He was right really. It took a few months but eventually I warmed up again and started socialising with a different group, then we all went into year 6 and it got all mixed up again anyway (for the better)

I had a book to read at lunchtimes or I’d draw etc, I don’t remember ever feeling particularly sad about it except when I was encouraged to play with the original girls who I got were a bit mean and we weren’t really on the same wavelength.

i would say back off a bit and just let her settle into it on her own. Please don’t read her diary. If she thinks you’ve read what she feels in writing form she won’t bother to talk to you about anything verbally (I know from experience, my mum was reading mine when I was 14 and I still resent her massively for that)

Talk to her teacher. They will think all the children are okay unless the child or parent approaches them. Some children are happy with what you describe so raise it. Usually best to ask to see the teacher alone after school as before school they are trying to get children in and ready for register.

Say you are concerned she doesn't seem to be forming lasting friendships etc. School usually do have some sort of system to buddy children up and she can also keep an eye on the girl who talks over her.

Definitely get her involved in clubs or hobbies outside of school so she can build friendships there.

I’m going through the same with my 9 year old girl. It’s awful & I feel like I’m sending her into the lions den..but…I don’t think it helps avoiding it. She’s got to (as hard as it is) navigate these issues. You’ve just got to give her the tools to do it!

I would mention it to the school though. I have (not that they do anything).

Its awful and I feel for you, kids can be so mean(especially girls ime).

My 9yo had a similar issue and school supported to develop friendships which improved things massively. They also gave permission to read indoors which she did a mix of both, but now usually chooses to go outside with the others.

Try talking with her about who else she could play with. Sometimes looking for other children on their own can be a good strategy. Also give her ideas of what she can do if she is on her own. Are they allowed to take anything with them e.g. a notebook and pen to draw?

If it's upsetting her, I would mention it to the teacher. They may be able to encourage friendships e.g. by who they pair her up with in class or may know of other options at lunchtime e.g. DDs school has some of them doing tasks like supporting younger ones or doing jobs. DD loves this!

You have the time to collect her, feed her and take her back to school? Don’t you go to work?

Reading her diary?

Does she do any clubs outside of school, so can build up some new friendships there?

Leave her to it. She needs to manage this herself.
You are overly-involved; STOP reading her diary! That’s a gross invasion of privacy.

WTF are you reading her diary? This is the one thing that jumped out at me. My mum read my diary and it was such an invasion of my privacy. You come across as very controlling if I’m honest - reading her diary, wanting to sort her friendships for her, deciding who she should be friends with and instructing her on what to do. I hope it’s simply misplaced care, but be careful as she’ll be a teenager soon and she will revel against stifling and controlling behaviour like that. And if she finds out you read her diary, she might never forgive you.

You need to let go and let her manage her friendships. If worried, by all means talk to a teacher but for gods sake do not tell them what you read or else they will ask your daughter about it and she will know what you’ve done.

Stop reading her diary. Stop trying to control her life.

You need to talk to her Teacher. There might be a lunchtime club she could join to make friends. Taking her out of school for lunch is definitely not the answer.

By taking her out at lunch you're singling her out as different. And removing her from where she needs to be to make friends

Even though she's only 9, don't you think she deserves some privacy? Reading her diary is not great