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Original poster

Unwell Father Removing Shoes

119 replies

CyanSloth · 23/11/2025 21:31

Hi All
Long time lurker but first time poster. Unfortunately myself and my other half have had a disagreement which I wanted some perspective on. We generally operate a no shoes house policy which has been somewhat harmonious. My elderly father (who’s had several falls over the last few weeks) has generally always been on board and removed his shoes. This evening, he was in real pain and despite being offered a chair and slippers he couldn’t remove them and winced at the thought - not wanting to push him as he’s already elderly and unwell I allowed him in with shoes. Am I being unreasonable in making this exception for one member of my family who’s struggling with their health? I’ve also offered to mop the floor after he leaves to be supportive of my OHs views. Interested in perspective here as I feel I’m going to have to push my elderly father to do it each time he’s struggling and that feels uncomfortable.

OP posts:
JellyTotsAreYum · 23/11/2025 22:25

keepcrackingon · 23/11/2025 21:49

Disposable shoe covers. Job done.

Shoe covers increase the likelihood of slipping and falling.

OP: Feel sorry for your poor dad - being "allowed in" rather than welcomed in.

MissMoneyFairy · 23/11/2025 22:24

keepcrackingon · 23/11/2025 21:49

Disposable shoe covers. Job done.

It's not an operating theatre, don't be so ridiculous, poor man.

Claudiebus · 23/11/2025 22:21

My floors are all tiled or wood.I wouldn’t dream of asking people to take their shoes off . A part from parents ( stepfather was a clean freak) no one has ever asked me to either. I do offer when there’s carpeting and of course take them off if they are muddy or wet.

Anyahyacinth · 23/11/2025 22:18

As others have said shoe covers would be a stupid trip hazard and socks on a floor that can be mopped doesn’t sound non slip either…deadly for people with mobility issues. No shoes house here but carpets and I wouldn’t asked an elderly person to remove their shoes

Cat1504 · 23/11/2025 22:11

keepcrackingon · 23/11/2025 21:49

Disposable shoe covers. Job done.

And make him feel like a leper….that’s disgusting 🙄

Alpacajigsaw · 23/11/2025 22:07

Your OH is a wanker

What exactly is his problem? Assuming your elderly father isn’t going to be stomping mud and dogshit through the house.

Tell him to fuck off and stop disrespecting
your dear dad

StewkeyBlue · 23/11/2025 22:06

Your poor Dad.

Please do not allow him to be humiliated and in pain and discomfort.

EchoedSilence · 23/11/2025 22:05

Sod off with the slippery shoe cover suggestions too,

Sorica · 23/11/2025 22:03

As he is unwell & at risk of falls your dad should definitely not go without footwear in your home!

EchoedSilence · 23/11/2025 22:02

Bloody hell, what's more important,your dads comfort or your precious floor?

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 23/11/2025 22:01

Is he the same culture as you? Some countries find it really disgusting.

Cosyblankets · 23/11/2025 21:59

I can't believe people are suggesting shoe covers FFS

JLou08 · 23/11/2025 21:54

I'm shocked you even need to ask. An elderly man, poorly, in pain and at risk of falls should definitely not be made to go through pain and risk another fall. You say you will mop afterwards too, so it's not even carpets? A hard floor that can be cleaned really easily? It's ridiculous.

Pancakeflipper · 23/11/2025 21:54

I doubt your father is going skipping through muddy woodland and leafy muddy streets if he's struggling this much. His shoes can't be that dirty.

BreakingBroken · 23/11/2025 21:53

besides a dick husband issue your dear dad might benefit from some new shoes that are easy on and off.
if he's struggling to take them off at yours he will equally be struggling to get them off at his.
lots of options to review and try on. nike even does them.
Nike Go FlyEase Women's Easy On/Off Shoes. Nike.com

Nike Go FlyEase Women's Easy On/Off Shoes

Find the Nike Go FlyEase Women's Easy On/Off Shoes at Nike.com. Free delivery and returns.

https://www.nike.com/t/go-flyease-womens-easy-on-off-shoes-LGmqKx/DR5540-002

DeathStare · 23/11/2025 21:52

Are you saying your OH wanted to force your DF into pain by insisting he removed his shoes?

If so think very carefully about whether you really want a long term relationship with him. One day you will be elderly or ill or in pain and your OH won't give two shifts as long as you follow his rules. He has shown you who he is, believe him.

keepcrackingon · 23/11/2025 21:49

Disposable shoe covers. Job done.

Octavia64 · 23/11/2025 21:47

I’m disabled after an accident where one foot was badly mangled.

my FIL has a shoes off policy and refused to relax it for me so I didn’t go for a number of years

I was in plaster for six months and then a fracture boot and then custom “shoes” for sometime. It was a couple of years before I could weight bear.

he wouldn’t have my wheelchair in his house either because there might have been dog shit on the wheels.

seriously, be nice to people who have mobility problems. Causing people physical pain because your house has a no shoes policy isn’t ok,

Roselily123 · 23/11/2025 21:45

TheCosyViewer · 23/11/2025 21:34

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. We have a no shoes policy here but I wouldn’t expect someone who has mobility issues to remove theirs, no matter what age they are.

Agree
one of our uncle and another friend who had serious health issues were never required to remove shoes in our shoes off house.

Berlinlover · 23/11/2025 21:44

My step daughters have a no shoes policy which I think is completely ridiculous but even they would probably be kinder to your Dad than your husband is.

TY78910 · 23/11/2025 21:42

Wtf. Of course YANBU. Your house isn’t going to suddenly turn in to a shit tip if one person keeps their shoes on for a few hours. Genuinely stunned. Tell your OH to respectfully get in the bin.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 23/11/2025 21:42

Yanbu but buy shoe covers for him xx

SauvignonBlanche · 23/11/2025 21:42

What’s more important, your DF’s wellbeing, or your floor?

Twinkletwinkly · 23/11/2025 21:40

Your OH is a stupid prick. Does he want your dad to stumble and fall?

EuroTour · 23/11/2025 21:40

If your dp has an issue then he should sanitise or whatever he feels he needs to do. He sounds like a dick tbh.

We're a no shoes house but I'd never request someone to remove their shoes if they were unwell/struggling/elderly etc.

I can't believe you 'allowed him' in with shoes, he's your elderly dad, he should be welcomed in by both you and your dp.

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