Unwell Father Removing Shoes

Em no. You're not being unreasonable at all. I can't believe you're even questioning that. Your OH is being unreasonable. Tell him that your dad's welfare needs to come first. I doubt it he'll make that much of a mess anyway

I’m on the fence about this.

My MIL absolutely hated shoes in the house. She because elderly and had severe mobility issues and cancer that was widespread. She never ever wore shoes in her house, or ours, right up until death. In fact, I remember her asking me to use antibac wipes to sanitise the bottom bit of her walking stick that touched the floor outside as she wanted to use it inside. She didn’t want any dirt from outside to be on the floors inside.

was your father only on hard washable floors, or was he on white/cream carpets with shoes? I have to say that I think it’s unacceptable to walk in outdoor shoes on a light carpet. It’s essentially uncleanable.

My husband would be told pull your head out your arse and stop being so ridiculous, the fact you can't see how terrible this is says a lot

Nothing gives me the ick quite like panicky shoes-off neuroticism.

I get bleaching doorframes & sex towels vibes.

The fact that your DP can’t unclench sufficiently to make an exception for an elderly person in pain would suffuse me with breakup levels of contempt and loathing I’m afraid.

I can’t believe that, under the circumstances, you would even question whether it was unreasonable to expect your father to remove his shoes. Of course you should ignore your usual rule for him!

Of course he doesn’t need to remove his shoes! Who is expecting him to?

Oh, and my sister told me the story - in Spain - of a woman who's kids were always having health problems.

The doctor concluded by saying "Senora, your children need Vitamin B.

Bacteria. It stimulates the immune system.

Your poor dad, of course you let him keep on his shoes!

Does your husband also expect police, electricians, council workers to remove their shoes?!

He sound uptight and unpleasant. And why are you pandering to him?

How is someone with mobility difficulties supposed to put shoe covers on?
And how likely is it a child will pick up shoe germs by putting a toy that has been on the floor in their mouth. Do you wipe your child's hand every time they touch a piece of equipment in the park,

What the actual fuck? 😳
You OH is a class A belled 🔔 👎 😠

My elderly father (who’s had several falls over the last few weeks).
😨
So your poor old dad was allowed to keep his shoes in this time? 🤔
Well that was lucky for him! 😬

I’ve also offered to mop the floor after he leaves to be supportive of my OHs views.

Heaven forbid he takes his shoes off, has a fall, then there is blood all over the floor!?
Then you really would have to put some elbow grease into mopping up! 😠
I would be shoving that mop right where the OH's sun doesn't shine!
Jesus wept 😭

Your OH is a twat. 💯 😡 😤
Let your dad wear the shoes without a fuss, poor bloke.

People are so ignorant about disability and mobility issues. The taking shoes off thing is really hard for a lot of people, including me, and I don’t look obviously disabled. A chair is rarely provided and for a lot of us getting to standing is really difficult. I have nerve damage, plus very little padding on my feet so it’s agony. I also have to wear very supportive lace ups. It can be quite complicated. I second what everyone has about shoe covers and slippers etc, just no. Yes, I know lots of people it’s cultural (including my own non-English extended family). But generally, forcing people to take their shoes off makes people look like the kind of person who’d follow you round with bleach spray and cover their sofas with polythene.

Shoes are safer than slippers for the frail elderly. Floppy dressing gowns and unstructured slippers are said to be implicated in a lot of falls.

Also wondering if it's a cultural issue rather than cleanliness/hygiene?

My SIL.has a no shoes policy and says very forcefully" please take shoes off" every bloody time. She has a basket of manky slippers by the door that you are supposed to wear ( they've been worn by multiple other people). Her best friend has just got a dog. It's a rescue with anxiety and she takes it everywhere. SIL allowed it in the house the first time so now it comes everytime. It puts its shitty arsehole on SILs furniture. I do enjoy her horror/ total inability to say anything.

Some people have young children that play on the floor and yes they might put their toys in their mouth.
I am fairly strict about no shoes but I would not have asked someone who was struggling o take their shoes off.

Jesus Christ people are so weird about shoes on in a house! Surely your father’s comfort and health is more important than a bit of dirt on the floor!

I’m a bit curious about no shoes thing: I understand taking them off for comfort or if they have mucky or wet soles and as a general rule to protect carpets getting dirt into them - but I’d not make people with regular clean shoes take them off if they don t want to. What is the fear? Do people plan to eat from the floor? When you stay in a hotel or spend the day at the office etc do you take off your shoes there too on entry into the room?

Shoe covers? In a home? I can't believe I'm reading this. It's not a clean lab environment.
I'm very relaxed about shoes indoors unless they are muddy. What's the issue? What do people think will happen?

Thank god another sane person! Why on earth would you expect people to take their shoes off, unless they had just walked in dog poo or similar?

He should definitely keep his shoes on, but it might be worth checking when it's just the two of you if he has the most comfy shoes/easiest to get on. My parents both need a chair & long shoe horn to try and put their shoes on (no guarantee of success), so being asked to take shoes off at any time away from home is a problem - Dad had to go to the hospital on Friday and then needed his shoe put back on for him as he couldn't do it which he found embarassing.

I have never, ever, understood the no-shoes policy. We have always had dogs, fair enough they don't wear shoes anyway, but they can bring mud in if it is rainy. We also have muddy boots as we keep horses. We always have tiles or laminate downstairs so it is easy to clean. I can't think of anything as unhygienic as carpet downstairs (which I guess underlies the no shoes policy).

Not that it’s relevant to the OPs question but it’s interesting how everyone is assuming the other half is male

@CyanSloth
i wouldnt be putting my dad through that or dirtying up the house...
Just get decent shoe covers we keep them by the front door for tradesmen etc.
Not the cheap ones...The ones we have are very fitted and very grippy

As your father also has mobility issues it would be best leaving his shoes on for stability.
Which I'm sure any doctor, physiotherapist or chiropodist would agree with.

Definitely shoe covers and a large brown paper bag for his head. These old people are spreading their germs everywhere they go. Don’t be cruel though. Cut slits in the paper bag so the poor man can see where he’s going 🙄