To say “no” to the crop tops?!

have you actually observed this or is it just hearsay? When we have non-uniform days (big standard comp) all the kids, boys and girls, are in jeans, T-shirts and hoodies. 90s and 2000s looks are very much in.

It’s is freezing, and yet my 15 year old DS and mates seem incapable of wearing their coats! The worst thing in the world for 15/16 year old boys right now apparently is being known to own a coat…
Just let them all get on with it. Oh, and take plenty of pics so you can all have a laugh about it in 10 years or so! It was ever thus with teens.

Have you ever been to Newcastle?

The crop top/Massive baggy jeans or joggers is THE look right now for that age grp.

My kids are way too young for this to be an issue and I do hope the 'trend' has passed by the time they get to that stage and I also think crop tops look awful, but how about a compromise and say she can have a sporty one for exercise (obviously not school PE), like park run, athletics, gym or whatever else she does, but not for walking around town in.
I don't get kids - it's freezing out there. Why does she want a crop top hahaha

Parent to a 13 year old and sports coach to a load of 13/14 year old girls … my advice would be to pick your battles and don’t try to police her body or clothing choices.
It’s fashion, it’ll change, and it’s winter so she will probably end up wearing something over it anyway.

That is true- but in my world in the 90s the girls were dressed like adults. So much more than my daughter’s friends (who are all turning 12 now). My point is that the 90s was certainly not an innocent time, that’s why teenage pregnant rates were so much higher then.

The take away from this, of course is that we need to be teaching boys better. If a 12 year old girl can wear a cropped top at the gym without being looked at sexually, she should be able to wear the same walking down the street. It’s the men’s behaviour that needs to change, not the girls. What worries me is that the more emphasis we put on saying to girls ‘you can’t wear that because the poor men might get turned on’ means the brothers are listening and thinking that’s how it should be.

OPs daughter is 12. Not a 16 year old.

Really can’t get upset about a teen showing their tummy. It’s just a stomach, not a private part. My DD’s are 13 and 14 and love a crop top with baggy trousers, it’s been fashionable for years. I know I wore them at their age and probably younger tbh. Distinctly remember wearing one when I was about 5/6 because I loved Sporty Spice.

@NerrSnerri don’t think associating cropped tops with breast development is a fair comment at all. I think it’s gross. Girls develop breasts at all different ages. My choice to allow crop tops at 13 was nothing to do with whether they had breasts or not, it was to do with their maturity and ability to make informed choices. Anyone who thinks about their own child’s breasts is rather disturbing to me.

Context is key. Let's not pretend we don't understand cultural norms or the fact that some clothing has sexual connotations, because the faux naivety makes it impossible to have a sensible discussion. Sports crops and shorts worn in a gym during a gym class, or doing parkrun at the park don't have the same connotations as sports crops and shorts worn in the street as casual wear. We all understand that certain clothes are suitable in certain circumstances and not others. None of us would wear our pyjamas to work.

Obviously no it's not "skin" that's the issue. It's dressing little girls in clothing which culturally is sexualised or adult-coded in a way that is inappropriate. Minnie Mouse swimsuit on the beach? Obviously fine, normal and appropriate. Spandex triangle bikini top on a five year old at the Westfield centre? Clearly not OK. We all know which clothing is designed for the male gaze and which is not, and how context and circumstance comes into play. I think adults who pretend that they don't understand this, with the aim of changing culture to normalise little girls wearing adult-coded, sexualised clothing are extremely problematic.

I was a teenager in the 90s and wore low rise jeans and small cropped tops. There was a lot of belly on show- so much more than now. Also, the bonus points for having the thong above the jeans. I’d if course leave the house in a baggy jumper to take off when getting into the night club at 16.

I am really on the fence about this. I absolutely hate shopping for my daughters (who are much younger) because of how skimpy I find young girls' clothing. However, I have always had really wide hips, and wearing longer tops makes me look so much bigger. I have always been self-conscious and as a teen felt much better in slightly cropped tops that I feel evened out my proportions. However, I wouldn't have worn them with low-rise jeans, etc. It would have been high waisted.
I think looking at the outfit as a whole and how it would make her feel is really important at her age.

All crop tops are not equal. I wouldn't allow my young daughter to wear a very short, tight crop top paired with low rise leggings for example. But my daughter does wear those boxy/baggy crop tops with high waisted loose fit jeans so there's not actually any belly on show.

As another PP has pointed out, you only have to look at the way girls v boys dress on non-uniform day or the weekend to see the impact of the male gaze and normalisation of the sexualisation of girls bodies via culturally inappropriate clothing becoming mainstream. Girls bodies have always been sexualised by men. Now we've got parents who are promoting the acceptance of it in our culture by dressing their girls like mini adults. That's not been the case in previous decades. The crop tops I wore as a kid in the 90s were worn with high waisted bottoms and usually plastered with Disney characters or cartoon flowers. They weren't adult-coded.

What if those girls are keen athletes or gymnasts and those clothes are the most functional to facilitate movement?

What do you think about girls turning up to parkruns in nike pros? They're in a public park. Should they have to wear tracksuit bottoms and impede their performance and physical comfort incase there are perverts there (let's face it, there will be perverts there). What about girls on play equipment in parks, wearing shorts under skirts? Are the shorts not long enough?

Is it only skin that's an issue? So if they wear v tight leggings that show their whole shape but it's not their skin, that's not revealing? Or do they also need to wear something baggy and long too?

What about young girls on the beach in the summer? Should they only wear kaftans or wetsuits all the time? Go in the water with them on? Or should we bring back wheeled bathing huts?

Are you offended by belly buttons?

I have just looked back through their comments. There was the one comment challenging the poster (was it you) as to why cropped tops were allowed once a girl had started developing breasts, which is think was a fair comment. Their other comments are just about place names/ firewalls.

"Why not?

"Because I said so"

Or is that not allowed any more?

My "kids" are 23 and 24 now, even they seem to have been brought up in a different era. Internet was big a bit later in their childhood I guess.

Remember wearing a sari often reveals your tummy!

Honestly, I wish bodies were seen just as vehicles for us to travel through life, with no one blinking an eye at however much is exposed or hidden. Though for hygiene reasons I would prefer that pants be worn. But. Male predators are a problem. Our culture does sexualise women and girls, even young girls. Which is a problem. So whilst I do allow my almost 12 year old to wear crop tops, I also consider the whole outfit, like others do. As for what is “suitable to wear to grandma’s house”, grandma was a nudist hippy so that’s really not an issue 😂

@Fargo79I suspect this of @Isittimeformynapyet. Some rather disturbing comments on this thread, made my stomach churn actually.

Advocating for little girls to wear revealing clothing which culturally has sexual connotations is really stomach churning and I feel very strongly that it's unlikely you are a mother. You sound more like a predatory man, trying to normalise the sexualisation of our kids.

That is so fucking sad. I'm relieved to only have a boy. You are right, she's worried about others reactions to the clothes her daughter wants to wear.

I'd try to get out of the fence and climb onto it if I was you.