AIBU??? WhatsApp chat drama!

I cant believe you were contemplating saying you dont agree with your friend and thus throwing her under a bus. Christ.

Or friends with the poster!
OP is choosing the cool kids rather than to stick with her friend who's actually done nothing wrong.

There might have been another group with a different group of mums completely unrelated to the group your in.

Beside that point, you did nothing, you were invited, you declined and said it looked like they had a good night.

No drama, you are massively overthinking it, if it was mentioned Id play dumb, oh did they, I totally missed that/misread that.. move on.

You'll sound like a complete suck up. How old are you???

@PuffPastry84

Are the 4 main mums the PTA? Or the class reps?

I went to a local village school where there was a group of women who were all close and organzised all the activities for the children. They were the class rep and everything was through the whole class group.
They did socialise together just them and a few other parents here and there. But the big activities like leaver’s parties etc were for ALL the children and they wouldn’t dream of excluding anyone.

So is it a but like that? Are you projecting a bit cos your mate stuck her neck out (and why shouldn’t she!)

This is a non event and while it has clearly rattled you use this as an opportunity to grow a thicker skin and think of ways of building your confidence.

did u want a personal hand delivered invite? Grow up.

I'm sorry that this might come across as harsh, but you sound a bit childish.
Yes your friend was being sarcastic and is probably annoyed that she didn't get invited. If the others didn't want to be called out on not inviting everyone then they should have invited them, or at least create a separate chat for sharing photos.
From what I can tell, any drama that might ensue from this has nothing to do with you as you haven't said anything sarcastic yourself.
Why does this worry you? You're all adults I'm sure you will survive this.

Oh I remember that story. Awful! But the school didn't shut down the private WhatsApp chat, they can't control that.

It's literally been in the papers and the bbc website, the couple arrested were paid £30k by Hertfordshire police for wrongful arrest, needless to say they moved schools - it's a really good read and a real insight into some very odd decisions made by everyone involved!! Definitely worth an Internet search if you have a spare 5 mins for some entertaining news

Please don't do that. That's making it

1. Look like a bigger deal than it is
2. throwing your friend under a bus
3. making you seem like needy person they can boss around, who will do anything to stay with the 'in' crowd.

They are not worth any of this. You haven't done anything wrong, your friend is perfectly entitled to stand up for yourself and good on her for calling them out on it. She hasn't done anything wrong either. It was a bit passive aggressive but so what. They deliberately left people out which is worth pointing out. Good on her.

And this is exactly how queen bees and their bitchy groups are established in secondary schools and it just carries on into adulthood. People can indeed have their own get togethers but need to be considerate enough to not rub other people’s faces in it if they’re not included.
You wanting to distance yourself from your actual friends comment is how people get excluded and for no better reason than you don’t want to upset the Queen bees. Your friend said nothing out of turn and it’s ok for her to call them out if she wasn’t invited. Don’t be that friend that drops someone to stay in with the popular kids.

If you're after real WhatsApp class group drama there's the recent story in the news that involved police and everything! I don't think this is a big deal. I guess your friend felt left out, but the reality is, she knows who the "organiser types" are, message them direct and say "is the tapas night still on, can i have details and come please". I think everyone reads soooooo much into things, reality is, they likely had a separate group, thought they'd added everyone in who wanted to go and accidentally forgot your friend. No big deal. Your friend should probably not have said anything, mildly awkward, absolutely not your problem.
If she's not in regular touch with anyone who went, then she probably wouldn't have enjoyed it anyway, by year 3 (in our school anyway) we don't do whole class nights out, we've chosen our friends and socialise with them alongside the odd whole school polite nods and chats (sports day, school play, wreath making etc). Whole class mum gets together are great in reception when you are mingling but by 4 years in, surely you and she know who you like hanging out with by now. Go together on your own tapas night if she is bothered.
Given your reaction to this, i suggest you put the group chat on mute and check in twice a week for any reminders - it'll stop your anxiety and you really don't need to reply to "anyone seen Tom's water bottle" or "is it pe today". The dads are right, it's mad to need to say "wow great pics hope you had a good night" or "well done annabelle in assembly" or "sorry, I've checked but no Daniel's jumper here" - ignore it all unless it's relevant.

Why? Join in or don’t! In the nicest possible way stop overthinking the school run, you’re creating the drama now!

WTAF?!

I can see your problem. Had everyone really been invited there would be details about the invitation on the WhatsApp chat in the first place but it sounds like only a select few were invited. Therefore, to post photos on it afterwards is a bit off in my opinion. Sounds like

Yep and it's going to make them think OP was in cahoots with her friend and then changed her mind and became disloyal to her friend.

Exactly this 👆 ffs life’s waaaay too short for this crap.
Keep a respectable distance and don’t get too enmeshed in these shenanigans.

Oh. Way to stir up more trouble whilst throwing your friend under the bus!

Just keep quiet

Wow you need to grow up and I can't believe you were going to throw your friend in it, to save yourself.

Aren't you a little slink. Least she says what is on her mind. There is more to life than this, you must have a blessed life is this is all you worry about.

I wouldn’t even give this anymore headspace tbh. You didn’t wanna go,you didn’t go. You said/did nothing wrong. The end.

This wouldn't happen because school don't control WhatsApp group chats set up by parents and you can't stop adults from carrying their phones.

Nice story tho.

But it was your friend who made this comment? So who cares what anyone thinks as it’s not your issue? Sorry but I think you are reading far too much into this!

Updated on what? It's a non-event.

The Four Horsemums of the Apocalypse don't owe your friend a social life. She can organise something herself if she's that bothered.

EXACTLY!!

I am this mum, and I would hate to be labelled a mean mum because other people are martyrs and can't organise a single event.

😮

It sounds as though some of the parents are more childish than some of the pupils.

I really don't get how people get so embroiled in this sort of thing, tbh.