Brother is having an affair

Tell the OW your brother is riddled with STDs and wait for her to chuck him?

I'd reiterate to him that telling you and making you keep it a secret was a really shitty thing to do and that he needs to tell her, or break off the relationship for you.

If one of them is cheating for no reason other than selfishness how on earth is it a 50/50 blame lol

To be fair on PP, if other people’s opinions on your values are meaningless then realistically, what’s the point of posting?

Your brother is behaving disgustingly, you’ve been put in a shit position but are okay with keeping it a secret, so it is what it is, there’s not much to add to it.

Fingers crossed his wife takes him to the cleaners, finds someone better and he lives out the rest of his life miserable.

He’s your brother so you can point out the error of his ways and let him know you don’t want to be part of a conspiracy of silence. He’s being selfish, unkind and delusional but he must know that. Don’t smooth his path to the OW but let him know you value your sibling relationship and his behaviour is risking that too.

Agree. I haven't spoken to my brother in almost 15 years. Huge fallout. He will always choose them, so if you want to keep your relationship with him, just keep out of it and focus on you.

People knowing that your husband is having an affair behind your back—and not telling you—must be a really horrible position to be in once it all comes to light. I can only imagine the humiliation and the feeling of being the last to know. I would feel like a complete fool, and would also feel very betrayed by everyone. This could go on for years, which will only make it worse.

I would firmly tell him I don't want to be involved, but I would stay well out of it, and of course wouldn't start telling SIL.

I would also try to put in his head that when it's found out, it's not going to protect his child at all, it will be worst than a separation. He will also take all the blame when really it's a 50/50 split.

There are 2 people in a marriage, it's never 100% fault on one side when the marriage is having problems. It's easy to blame him exclusively, but they are both in it. If they were happy, they wouldn't be that way.

I would stay well out of it because you don't know their private life!

Yeah, don’t tell SIL because the messenger is always in the direct firing line. She won’t want to talk to you afterwards either way. Your brother is a dick.

I would keep quiet and leave him to get on with it.. I'd deny any knowledge if ever confronted by sil. You aren't close enough to her to get involved.
The way I see it is when you do get involved as a third party sil will but some blame on you for knowing even if you tell her today. It would be I might know you knew. Not believe how long you knew etc.
Just don't text brother about it leave no trail and deny any knowledge if ever asked.

You need to be really stern with him and say that he MUST sort out his marriage break-up, or you will tell his wife about the affair.
He is treating a nice person (the mother of his child!) appallingly, and it must stop.

Very unfair of your brother to tell you really, especially as he thinks it won’t last. If affair woman is 15yrs younger, she may want kids etc - would your Db be up for that? Starting again as an old dad?
I’d keep out of it OP, its not your problem to solve…

I know how you feel. I have 3 brothers and love them all very much.
I would never say anything because its not my business. I would just say to him to do the right thing, but if he is starry eyed about this OW he is not going to finish with her. He said himself that it won't last. Just keep out of it. It's his life and marriage.

That sounds like a real can of worms op and I wouldn't recommend this, youre going to end up driving your brother away in a minute

If you can’t tell sil can you phone message your brother daily and ask if he’s still set to blow up his daughters life? That when it comes out you will tell sil and his daughter exactly what you think of his behaviour and how much you hope his dd never finds a partner like her dad?

Have you met the other woman op , was she pleasant enough? Can you see a future for her and your brother?

What's the point in this post, you have no intention of telling your SIL.

For me I would be ex communicating him but then again my SIL's are like family to me, many years under the bridge and the love for my nieces and nephews is incredibly important.

You don't sound so close, so being estranged from your niece and SIL won't be such a biggie.

What a horrid brother, you must be so proud, the fact he so easily confessed to you makes me think he knows you also have strange family values.

Sorry but this post says nothing much of your values, even for all your protestations of it being bad behaviour, it just sounds like you want to gossip.

Having an affair is like letting off a grenade in your family. I am a child of a parent who had an affair. The main concern has to be his DD / your niece getting through her GCSEs. It's such a crappy thing for him to be doing.

I wouldn't be surprised if he says you knew all about it when it comes out.

She's probably going to find out that you knew. Just be prepared for that. He might even say you made him tell her.

Don’t wade in here. Before you know it SIL will be expecting you to be her confidant, even if it’s only to keep close and in the loop. He’s your brother, even if he’s acting like a right wanker

When my sister found out her husband was cheating on her, she said it was made even worse that several people know about the affair and no one told her. I didn’t know, so I couldn’t have said anything, but it made me wonder what I would have done had I known.