telling child Elf on the Shelf isn’t really

So everybody who stayed at home and didn't clap was performing?

Be your own person, hold your boundaries.

No there's nothig performative about quietly going about your business and not buying into this landfill garbage.

Except that the “I hate the elf” crowd is every bit as performative as the “look what our elf got up to” crowd!

Do you remember the yoga teacher who told us all to stand on our doorsteps and clap?

Somebody has told you all to get a bloody elf.

Be your own person.

Why?

It's not that people are miserable. Santa brings the magic. He's the main man. This Elf is a Jonny Come Lately and he's a pain in the arse. Ill bred, ill-behaved brut. 😆

I don't think it's that big of a deal. I work in a reception class and I'd say no more than 1/3 of the class do That Elf. The other 2/3 are nonplussed.

By day 10 most of the parents have got fucked off with it and the kids come in to school and announce that they got a letter from the Elf saying he's gone on his holidays. 😂

The ones who don't have it don't really mention it. I think one might have said 'We don't have an elf". Not upset. Just statement of fact.

People are being dramatic. You won't ruin the tooth fairy for them or Christmas or their childhood.

Just don't do it. Don't bring it up. If child ever questions it - and you'll be amazed how many do not - just keep it vague "Yeah...not all houses have an Elf. (Thank flip!)"

My kids are 9 and 5 - we’ve never done it but their friends do it.
Ive always told them that Father Christmas lets you have an elf if parents want them in their houses to keep an eye on kids being naughty or nice but it’s a choice that parents get to decide. I tell them they make too much mess so I don’t want them , I also say if we got one they’d be telling on you to Father Christmas so surely you don’t want one? That does the trick and they agree that it’s for the best we don’t have one.
job done no need to get involved and it doesn’t spoil it for the families that do choose to do what to me seems very exhausting!

Get an elf doll and let DC play with it? We got one in a January sale and the kids liked it.

Its never been a proper thing in my house.

We do HAVE one, and i do hide it in stupid places, but that's because it amuses my kids to see what stupid thing i did with it, and who can be the first to spot where i stuck it.... but there is no aspect of 'santa is watching' with it, no magic, no 'they come alive' and no pressure on me to do it every night if i CBA or forget.
They know full well i'm the one doing silly shit with the stupid elf.

It's just a silly game i play with them.

I have an 8 and a 4 year old and have never done it (and never will). Both kids have just accepted it, no big deal.

I've never done it. When mine asked why we never had one they were old enough to be told that it's because I have enough to do without adding that on top.

It's hard enough to keep on top of the housework without deliberately making a mess like a lot of parents do.

We'd not come across it until a few years ago, and my youngest asked (about 8 years old I think) - I told him that if our house got invested with naughty elves I'd be calling the pest control and setting traps, not encouraging it!

He did know it was fake really, but was just checking (he's never believed in Father Christmas, unlike his older brother), but another mother pulled me aside at pickup and asked me to ask him not to talk about it as her kids still believed, so I had to have a word about maintaining the magic for other kids.

Maybe say something like ‘parents choose whether they need or want an elf in the house. I don’t think we want one because I trust that you’re well behaved.’

That way there’s no lies, they can’t tell other kids that it’s not real, and you’re making them understand that you don’t want to spy on them?

You only need to say "we don't do the elf in this house. Some people do, some don't and we don't." Dc might ask why so you could say "I don't like the idea/don't like it/have enough to do already/wouldn't you like an advent calendar instead/we have other plans for Christmas" or anything like that.

Some kids have the capacity for critical thinking before others and can see all the discrepancies of Christmas and work it all out. Others don't, or don't want to see the truth however obvious.

@blankcanvas3 You really don't have to participate if you don't want to. You're the boss, not dc. Feeling your child gets the say in these things is a slippery slope you don't want to go down, start laying down your law now while she's still very young. This is YOUR gig, she gets to say what happens when SHE is the parent and not before!

my gosh people are miserable

Bringing a bit of magic in little kids life.. I don't know anyone who feels offended they believed in Santa when they were little.

Just don’t do it. Create your own family traditions. Ideally ones that don’t involve lying to your kids.

DC is 10 and I’ve never done it. Did ask a few years back and I just said no. He knew from last year that Father Christmas wasn’t real, which felt very strange as hoped would hold on believing for a bit longer.

Thankfully many children don't find it boring at all and it's a fun thing to do.
You know they especially like it when they tell their friends about it at school, and it goes back to you via the mums 😂

Easter bunny is boring, tooth fairy is boring.. everything could be boring if you are a grumpy person 😂

Tell you dc whatever you want to and don't worry about your dc "ruining" it for other children by saying its not real, there was always someone in ds's class saying that Santa wasn't real either, most parents are capable of dealing with that without making a drama of it.

We always kept it very simple, no elf, no special wrapping paper, no Santa footprints made of flour etc, we never confirmed Santa was either real or not, and left him to work it out for himself. He's 21 now and still verbally spars with me asking if Santa is real or not in the run up to Christmas to see if I'll admit it.

We got an Elf Door, the kids spent a few days waiting for him to arrive which killed a bit of time. Then we did it periodically, said he travels to other houses. He left immediately after Christmas along with his door.

some people do it to tell the children they are being watched.

I find it a bit odd, never done that bit either, it's just a new prank every night, the kids find that funny - and love going round the house to find out where he got up to that night, even when they don't believe at all anymore

Never done it and it’s never been an issue. I always use the line that everyone celebrates differently.
They are the dullest thing tbh, totally coincided with social media showing off becoming a thing and it’s so boring seeing people do it year after year desperate to be the funniest/quirkiest/most outrageous. Then the faux moaning about it when it’s a choice they made and they could stop at any time!

It's pathetic made up shite. Donate to one of the smaller charities. Be of some value and worth.

I always told mine that the children who got an elf hadn’t made it onto the good list yet, and needed extra support. So they were happy to not get one as it meant they were already on the good list 😂