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Santa conflict - present from Santa or no?

34 replies

Kate8889 · 23/11/2025 12:24

I have always been into science and healthy skepticism.esp since my dad joined a religious cult when I was 5. I never want anyone in my family to fall for a scam like that again.

When my husband and I were planning on having kids, we agreed that we wouldn't be doing Santa

Now our daughter is 2.5 and my husband has been asking her what she wants from Santa. I reiterated that I didn't feel comfortable having my daughter be told to believe something that wasn't real. He insists he'd like to do it for at least a few years.

I'm so disappointed and lost. I want our child to be able to trust us when we tell her something. I also don't want kids who receive less presents than her to think Santa cares about them less.

OP posts:
tinyspiny · 23/11/2025 12:40

We did FC as a story and our children still loved Christmas and interestingly still do as adults . AFAIK they never told anyone else that FC wasn’t ‘real’ and we still did trips to see him when they were kids as it was a fun thing to do . Neither of them feel they missed out on anything magical but we did always spend 5 days at Disney in the week before Christmas which they probably saw as more magical .

mugglewump · 23/11/2025 12:38

I would compromise with small presents from Santa and other presents from you (or whomever) under the tree. You do not want to have the embarrassment of your child's teacher pulling you to one side because your child has been telling her beleieving classmates that Santa is not real.

Kate8889 · 23/11/2025 12:36

PoliteSquid · 23/11/2025 12:32

As soon as she gets friends, goes to pre-school or nursery or even school itself she will be told about Santa. You will be the bad parent if your kid is the one who tells their friends the ‘truth’. Or you can just let her enjoy it and make her own mind up at the developmentally usual age later on.

How do Jewish parents handle this?

OP posts:
Kate8889 · 23/11/2025 12:33

Scottishskifun · 23/11/2025 12:32

Simply yes. Whilst still exciting to receive presents it's the magic of December counting down, reindeer etc etc.

Ok, I never experienced this (my dad's cult said no presents/secular celebration of Christmas), I always got presents from my parents/grandparents before that point and it was still special.

OP posts:
PoliteSquid · 23/11/2025 12:32

As soon as she gets friends, goes to pre-school or nursery or even school itself she will be told about Santa. You will be the bad parent if your kid is the one who tells their friends the ‘truth’. Or you can just let her enjoy it and make her own mind up at the developmentally usual age later on.

Scottishskifun · 23/11/2025 12:32

Kate8889 · 23/11/2025 12:30

But is it any less magical if the presents are from family/friends?

Simply yes. Whilst still exciting to receive presents it's the magic of December counting down, reindeer etc etc.

Scottishskifun · 23/11/2025 12:30

Santa brings stockings and 1 small present in our house.

Doing santa does not result in joining a cult. Most children believe in the magic it's not a bad thing! Let her have a bit of magic.

Kate8889 · 23/11/2025 12:30

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 23/11/2025 12:28

I have never seen any indication of a link between allowing children to enjoy the magic of Christmas and them growing up to be cult members. Sorry to hear about your father's issues. I wouldn't be using it as an excuse to take an experience away from my child.

But is it any less magical if the presents are from family/friends?

OP posts:
RitaFromThePitCanteen · 23/11/2025 12:28

I have never seen any indication of a link between allowing children to enjoy the magic of Christmas and them growing up to be cult members. Sorry to hear about your father's issues. I wouldn't be using it as an excuse to take an experience away from my child.

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