Best Universities for Autistic DD with social anxiety. Looking for flexibility

That is not necessarily the case.
For some, combining the academic and social at university can be overwhelming, even if still living at home . Instead of improving in both areas, the individual may struggle or even fail in both.
For some young autistic people it makes sense to focus on one major element at a time, adding more challenges along the way.
Studying online doesn't preclude other possibilities for socialising.
And what it does allow is control and flexibility over the amount of socialising the OP's daughter can cope with. It also allows for the possibility of volunteering or part time work. University is not necessarily the best environment to prepare for the world of work. Arguably it's a unique environment unlike most work situations.
Stretching her comfort zones doesn't have to be in at the deep end.

It's not a good idea for her to attend online, this will negatively impact on her ability in social situations, avoidance won't help long term. She's better to adapt to this in a safe University environment than being thrown into it when she enters the world of work. You're not helping her if you help her to avoid social interaction, support her through it.

Exactly this. it's not that Uni lecturers "don't care". We are not work loaded for extensive pastoral care, and most importantly not trained or qualified for it.

We are directed to refer any well-being issues to the people who are qualified and work loaded to offer mental health support.

Add to this the fact that when we do actively offer in-person pastoral support sessions (i.e., small group tutorials), students don't turn up. Those who do engage get as much support from me as they need, but if they are not engaging, there isn't a lot we can do. Most of the time they are absolutely fine and having the time of their life.

Sorry for not reading the full thread. Could she do her degree through the OU? And in the meantime grow her confidence and skills and comfort around other people by volunteering with children with autism?

Does the OU still do summer schools? If so, that might be a gentle way for her to feel comfortable studying with others. Then if she needs to move away to do a masters or postgrad course she might be at that stage by then.

The three seats for ten (or however many) children needing to sit in front of the teacher pretty much sums up the impossibility of implementing half these plans in a nutshell

I’d suggest that there can be a disconnect in a number of environments between the person whose job it is to come up with the plan and the person whose job it is to implement a plan. Something which sounds simple & straightforward on paper may well not be. For example, when DC1 was at primary, a number of children had it in their plans that they were to sit at the table directly in front of the teacher, a table which only had three seats at it!
Whilst the idea of sending an email to check in on someone sounds simple, it rarely is. What happens if the student doesn’t reply? Has the University’s duty been discharged as they have dutifully sent the checking in email as required by the plan? Or are they supposed to follow up with another email if the student doesn’t reply? And how long should they wait before sending the follow up? After all, they don’t want to put undue pressure on an anxious student. Is it even appropriate to send a follow up? Could that be too much pressure? But, of course, the lack of response could be because the student is overwhelmed and needs support? How is the tutor supposed to judge this?

Never did pass maths O level. Yes I’m that old too! Never needed it except for an awful coding course I had to do!

I think there's an amount of things that you have to learn at school and to a certain extent at uni that a student may never have to use again, or they will realise that it's not where their strengths lie and choose their employment accordingly. Uni just has to get them to that point. I needed maths O'level (yes, I'm that old) to get to college, my school pushed me to get there, but I've never used algebra since.
My DD is ND, she sailed through uni, but never sat an exam (which is a common SEN sticking point) and is working in her chosen field with no issues - tbh, she's a bolshy creature and I thought she'd struggle!
My DS has worked since he was 16, never had an issue with employers and his disability, yet university is throwing up allsorts of unnecessary barriers, which are impacting on his disability. Some of the barriers are caused by things that uni are supposed to provide for all students, but don't.

Yes I was aware I was being facetious….. Presentation skills and other soft skills are valuable in supporting the student to achieve. But people here are expecting uni level education to provide a whole heap more in terms of personal development, well over and above that required to successfully access the curriculum and demonstrate learning. OK - universities exist to impart knowledge, not as some sort of finishing school for teenagers.

You're being facetious and you know it.
But yes, we have funded relevant education. Personal development includes helping with people skills, confidence, motivation, presentation skills, moral boosting. One to one assessments to discuss progress. Lots of soft skills which have the benefit of helping a person be more successful in their role and the added benefit of better performance for the employer. This is all personal development.

I'm not even talking about SEN, but all these things would be applicable to students as well as employees. I was certainly given help with presentations, portfolio advice, help in handling interviews, lots of those soft skills whilst a student.

I used to write those plans - there's no way that's practical.

So I’m an accountant and I fancy learning the piano to aid my personal development. Are you suggesting my employer should facilitate that?

@cantkeepawayforever I do agree with what you say.

Young people do need to bear in mind that we are seeing less graduate recruitment. As a result of taxation, employers want bang for their buck. They won’t be able to give loads of time to an employee who has been used to having extra time for exams and work submissions. In the real world, time is money. Well, where there’s a need to make a profit. It’s difficult to see how some young people could ever be exemplary employees with needing checking up on all the time, not doing certain elements of the degree/work and not attending because they want to be in their room. An employer would run a mile from such an employee in many scenarios and they would be very worried about flaky attendance too as well as productivity. Many companies are financially on a knife edge. They also worry about the effects on other very hard working industrious employees, and that’s not unreasonable.

The best advice is to wait until university can be fully grasped. Not just academics but all the other aspects of developing the whole person too. Doesn’t have to be away from home but everyone should consider what makes a young person employable and work towards that. The state isn’t paying for self discovery alone.

Might be better for her to consider a uni in her home town or close to it. She has the comfort and security of home nearby then and could return between lectures/titorials. She can spread her wings a bit more as time goes on if she feels confident enough.

Of course people develop at university and within employment - they develop both their ‘direct skills / knowledge’ and also their ‘capabilities’, through doing and learning new things and carrying out new tasks.

The question is ‘who is responsible for delivering this development’.

The development that is directly related to the course / employment IS the responsibility of the university or employer - skills of presentation, construction of an argument, research as well as knowledge of new subject domains.

However, development of wider skills - self management of competing requirements, self advocacy, social skills, independent living, skills gained through membership / leadership of societies etc - those are the responsibility of the student / employee. If they are specifically lacking eg for reasons of disability or change in direction, then support, training, adjustment to bring them up to an adequate level may be required if they impair job performance that is otherwise exemplary or to mitigate disadvantage.

As a parent of a disabled student, reasonable adjustments are, ime, to allow them to access the course and graduate. They are not there to enable ‘a typical student experience’, ‘full personal growth’, or even ‘a particularly nice time’. They somewhat reduce the overall impact of disability on academic performance, and no more.

A disabled friend did their degree at OU and the flexibility and support they received were amazing.

Absolutely uni supports personal development as does employment for that matter and I'm not even talking about SEN. You must have worked in some pretty poor workplaces. I have worked on people's personal development plans, I have read countless CVs which mention how people have personally developed in a given role.
I can't quite understand your stance on this. I have supported people to step up to roles that are out of their comfort zone in order to facilitate their "personal development". MN is a different world sometimes.

Yes this exactly. Student services, disability support etc are to facilitate the student accessing learning in order to demonstrate they have met the learning outcomes required for the degree. They’re not there to make sure the student develops themselves in non-academic ways, any more than an employer does.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow why don’t you set up a fake account, set up an automated email saying “dear x just checking in” and have it go once a week
and then say “contact student services” on the off chance there is a response
she’s apparently sailing through the course , she clearly doesn’t need yhe check in email, you’re the one who is obsessed with it

Leeds have been very supportive to my autistic daughter. Same as you, social issues but very clever. Actually they've been so supportive, she's like a different person and absolutely thriving.

I think, fwiw, that different staff within a university are responsible for delivering certain things.

The academic staff’s responsibility towards their students is to deliver high quality academic education.

Pastoral staff’s responsibility - in which I include disability services, counsellors etc - is to provide or signpost the support needed to students to access this academic education, and mitigate difficulties/ reduce barriers to access as far as possible.

Facilities staff meed to make sure that facilities are safe, up to date and accessible.

The student may also get a lot more ‘personal growth’ out of university- independent living, new interests, social links etc etc - but that is their own responsibility to seek out and manage, not that of the university to deliver.

I’m still not seeing why the need cannot be met by someone from the disability service sending a short automated e-mail every week:

• Do you have any concerns this week? Yes / No
• If yes, please give brief details and the member of staff (eg module leader / counsellor / disability service contact) who you think could best support you

Then disability service forwards any substantial issues to whoever is best placed or eg e-mails counsellor to make sure it’s included in next session.

I wonder whether there is additional ND involved here in the rigidity of thinking - that what is in the plan is the only thing that must happen to meet the need, and it not happening (despite not being needed) is actually causing the anxiety.

No, but you clearly have a different view of education than me, so there's not much point in us butting heads about it. I don't regard education as being solely about the acquisition of academic skills.

And my 'attitude' highlights the problem, does it? 😂 In what way?

My autistic, social anxious, in recovery from anorexia daughter is studying psychology at Leeds Beckett. She's in her second year. They've been great. She can do things online and she has extra time for assignments. She has a couple of times last year when I needed to bring her home and they were great. She's doing really well. DM me if you want to know more and good luckI

Oh it absolutely is purely about education - your attitude highlights the problem. Would you regard the role of an employer to facilitate non-work-based growth?