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AIBU?

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Original poster

To cancel our holiday because of the cats?

94 replies

crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:13

I know this is going to sound crazy but here goes
Me and my partner have two cats who are 4.
One boy and one girl,the girl is very nervous.
We are going to mexico next weekend for 14 nights.
They are going to my Dads.
We live a hour from my Dad and he’s in his 80s so can’t travel daily to check on them.
They stay every holiday but I worry constantly.
My dad has a spare room which he has a cat tree and blankets and toys for them and they have the upstairs of the house.
He has a dog and he has downstairs.
Theres a downstairs door which has a chain on to stop dog getting up and then a door at the top which is locked with a chain too.
He goes out one day a week for two hours for shopping .
Im terrified he will forget to lock the door and then the dog will then somehow get through the other door to the cats.
(so there’s two seperate locked doors between them )
or they will run out of the front door when my dad opens it (even tho there’s another locked door between that door )
Would aibu to cancel holiday ?
Partner would got crazy I think
I dont know what to do
They have stayed

OP posts:
GaIadriel · 22/11/2025 20:26

crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:17

I don’t feel comfortable with a cat sitter either a they are house cats
you have to be careful opening the door to get in
incase they get out
At my dads they can’t get out the upstairs door
In 4 years everything’s been fine
i am on medication for anxiety yeah/

I'd have thought a cat sitter would be pretty on the ball with all this stuff.

bignewprinz · 22/11/2025 20:22

Remind yourself that if you dropped dead at home, those two would eat your body without a second thought. And they'd enjoy it!

Stick em in a cattery and enjoy your holiday.

tinyspiny · 22/11/2025 20:22

It sounds like the set up at your dads is pretty good but before your next holiday I’d be looking round some catteries so that next time you won’t have this worry . What sort of dog is it anyway ?

Plump82 · 22/11/2025 20:18

I completely understand how you feel and often feel the same about my cats. It's probably too soon to think about a cat sitter as it would be a good idea to get them introduced and meeting a few times before the holiday. My pair also sound very similar to yours, nervous girl and boy cat who would scoff her food!! Could you maybe put a few signs up in your dad's house, maybe one at his front door saying in bold writing "remember to close the cats door!!" Hopefully he wouldn't be offended but it's just a way of prompting him to remember the door.

Pippa12 · 22/11/2025 20:16

You sound like you need a holiday 😉

It’s great your dad isn’t dismissive of your anxieties. He sounds like a great guy!

Enjoy you holiday. Might be worth a medication review when you get back it your still feeling off.

x

AprilinPortugal · 22/11/2025 20:14

crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:50

I’ve spoke with my dad about how I’m feeling and he suggested I text him the day he is going out and he will reply telling me the doors are all locked ..and I can enjoy myself

Your dad sounds lovely and supportive. I think your cats are going to be fine with him!
you might want to consider a medication review if your anxiety is worse than usual though

Bundleflower · 22/11/2025 20:13

You have found a reason to talk yourself out of every alternative. Everything you say is riddled with ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’. It’s just pure anxiety talk.
They’re cats. Everything will be fine. This is your anxiety - not reality.
Please go and enjoy your holiday!

notatinydancer · 22/11/2025 20:09

Look at Trusted Housesitters.

Original poster
crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:57

@FelineFeaststhankyou that’s helped me! I just love them so much and worry about them ..partner thinks I’m crazy ha ha

OP posts:
FelineFeasts · 22/11/2025 19:51

crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:41

In need to get a grip I think
Try and think how nice the room is at my dads
how much he loves them and they are safe
I think my anxiety is bad at the minute

That’s right - this is your anxiety talking. Don’t listen to it. Consider a medication review with your GP, and use any other tools you find helpful for managing your anxiety in general. Don’t listen to PPs suggesting you’re too anxious to go on holiday or that you’ll stress the cats out more by taking them out of the house etc either. You’ll be fine and the cats will be happy and loved! You’ve got this.

Original poster
crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:50

I’ve spoke with my dad about how I’m feeling and he suggested I text him the day he is going out and he will reply telling me the doors are all locked ..and I can enjoy myself

OP posts:
niadainud · 22/11/2025 19:49

Was that meant to be a poem?

Yes, you would be mad to cancel your holiday.

Original poster
crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:41

In need to get a grip I think
Try and think how nice the room is at my dads
how much he loves them and they are safe
I think my anxiety is bad at the minute

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/11/2025 19:40

crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:39

I don’t like the idea of a cattery because I worry they think we have abandoned them..we spend all our time with them and the girl is a total lap cat

If they are going to think that they will think that your dads also 🤷‍♀️

toomuchfaff · 22/11/2025 19:40

Pet sitter or cattery. De-risk and de-stress the whole situation

Original poster
crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:39

I don’t like the idea of a cattery because I worry they think we have abandoned them..we spend all our time with them and the girl is a total lap cat

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/11/2025 19:37

crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:34

@ToKittyornottoKitty nothing to do with the cost ,I would pay hundreds of pounds as long as I know they both are safe and nothing bad will happen to them.
Im scared the pet sitter won’t lock the door properly or the will run past them and out to the main road etc
Or they just won’t turn up

Also what is your reason for no cattery?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/11/2025 19:36

crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:34

@ToKittyornottoKitty nothing to do with the cost ,I would pay hundreds of pounds as long as I know they both are safe and nothing bad will happen to them.
Im scared the pet sitter won’t lock the door properly or the will run past them and out to the main road etc
Or they just won’t turn up

You are being unreasonable. You also worry your dad won’t lock the door. You can get the pet sitter to send pictures every time they are in your home and there’s no reason they’d be stupid enough to let the cats out. Your issue here is your own anxiety, there isn’t a real issue regarding the safety of cat sitters.

SwirlyShirly · 22/11/2025 19:36

I’m a cat sitter, I have 2 house cats of my own, I know all their sneakiest of tricks. Seriously, don’t cancel your holiday because of your anxiety. Either find a cat sitter you can trust so they can stay in their own environment or trust your dad.

Original poster
crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:34

@ToKittyornottoKitty nothing to do with the cost ,I would pay hundreds of pounds as long as I know they both are safe and nothing bad will happen to them.
Im scared the pet sitter won’t lock the door properly or the will run past them and out to the main road etc
Or they just won’t turn up

OP posts:
user1471548941 · 22/11/2025 19:33

Mine go to a lovely lovely cattery. It’s a lovely couple and their adult daughters who have six cat “chalets” in their garden. They got to know our boys who are house cats with complex health conditions. They didn’t blink at giving them medication, didn’t care that one of them bites as he’s under socialised and clearly spend plenty of time with them as they talk about their personalities and have got them to a T! They get much more contact than an hour a day from a sitter (which is needed as one of them needs monitoring for symptoms of his condition).

The first cattery tried wasn’t like that and it made me understand why people don’t like them. This place came recommended by my parents, it’s a 25 min drive, rather than local but I love my holidays and am also anxious about leaving my babies so this is the best peace of mind for me.

I think you need to send them to your Dad’s and commit to this holiday but research other options for the next one.

Original poster
crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:33

My Dad loves them and when I get home they always are happy.
I think I’m letting my anxiety make me think of the worst case scenario
My dad has his marbles fully and never had any issues but my anxiety is kicking in .
As well as that I’m worried my dad might be ill whilst I’m away and I’m the only child.

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/11/2025 19:32

crisikrinkles · 22/11/2025 19:20

I don’t like the idea of a stranger coming in
My girl cat won’t eat as she hates strangers
She hides
My male cat eats straight away and would eat her food

Also you are absolutely kidding yourself if you think driving your cats an hour away to different house with different smells including a dog is less stressful for them than having a pet sitter visit their home twice a day. The only benefit to sending them
to your dads it’s for you because it’s cheaper

caringcarer · 22/11/2025 19:30

You have said in 4 years your cats have had a holiday at your Dad's and been fine. Focus on that OP. Don't let your anxiety get the better of you. Enjoy your trip.

Allmarbleslost · 22/11/2025 19:27

Leave the cats at home and pay a pet sitter. We do this and the sitter sends photos each time she visits.