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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Looking for a bit of advice

36 replies

Lucy2586 · 22/11/2025 18:33

Hi all, very long story will not go into all the details but it’s come out that my child’s on off best friend has been bullying her for a couple of years, one incident i just found out about she punched her in the stomach last year and said her mother said she was allowed to do that.

The teacher in last year of primary noticed a toxic dynamic and made sure they were not in the same form class in high school but it turns out she is in a few of her classes. Theu gravitated back together. My DD is awaiting assessment she has huge sensory issues and has to go to student support for lunch break etc.

So 2 weeks ago they walked home from school together and popped to the park but this friend and another girl ran and his from DD. I popped round to their house and really calmly explained that my DD is very sensitive and really upset. I even had my phone recording so j couldn’t be accused of being threatening or anything because this woman is a bit of an odd one.

However, she got really defensive and in the end shouted take accountability so I shouted back at her. Since then other things have happened but I haven’t spoke to said women but someone said she has called the police on me.

i am just a bit concerned because it seems people get arrested for anything at the moment. Would I know as it’s almost 2 weeks ago if police were going to come? I am such a worrier and I have known this woman for 10 years thought we could have a civilised conversation.

OP posts:
Lucy2586 · 23/11/2025 02:22

Pryceosh1987 · 23/11/2025 02:19

Do what i did for my brother when this happened to him. Teach her how to fight and take her to kickboxing classes.

I have never been so heartbroken and devastated I cannot believe that another 11 year old could do this. It’s all there in black and white another parent saw it in the chat and sent to the school. I didn’t eat for 4 days

OP posts:
Pryceosh1987 · 23/11/2025 02:19

Do what i did for my brother when this happened to him. Teach her how to fight and take her to kickboxing classes.

Lucy2586 · 23/11/2025 02:14

Oh my gosh it pisses me off so much. Imagine your child school calling telling you to take your child straight to emergency room because she is agreeing to end her life on the 18th dec her birthday. Imagine the absolute devastation so dont tell me wha I should and shouldn’t do. She is autistic

OP posts:
Lucy2586 · 23/11/2025 02:09

I did say there was so much more but this came to light after I went to her door so I am very glad I did. My dd was morose, hiding away now is back to her happy go lucky self

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Lucy2586 · 23/11/2025 02:07

Vodkamartini3olives · 22/11/2025 19:24

I just don't think turning up at a parent's door especially if you know she's known to 'kick off' is never going to result in a calm conversation with the outcome you were hoping for. I can't see what ground she'd have to make a police complaint. If my daughter came home and told me her friend ran away and hid from her at the park my advice would be don't hang out with her if it doesn't make you feel good.

pWhat would you do if this child was trying convince your daughter to end her life on her birthday which is next month. Would you be quite so keen to take action? Someone sent the screenshots to school I had to take her straight to the emergency room because she was starting to agree. She is autistic dont tell me not to go to the mother’s house. I got a phone call from the school to take my dd to the hospital immediately. It all came out to the therapist that this is child is self harming and trying to convince my dd to do it this child wants to run. Away from home bevause he 14 year old brother has been expelled for touching a younger child in the park. I was going to the house wild horses wouldn’t stop me so thanks for concern but no thanks

OP posts:
Vodkamartini3olives · 22/11/2025 19:24

I just don't think turning up at a parent's door especially if you know she's known to 'kick off' is never going to result in a calm conversation with the outcome you were hoping for. I can't see what ground she'd have to make a police complaint. If my daughter came home and told me her friend ran away and hid from her at the park my advice would be don't hang out with her if it doesn't make you feel good.

Endofyear · 22/11/2025 19:17

You were unreasonable to go to their house to speak to the mother. You need to tell your daughter to stay away from the other child and report any nasty behaviour to the school. Never approach the other parents!

Lucy2586 · 22/11/2025 18:55

Vodkamartini3olives · 22/11/2025 18:50

As difficult as it is, this just sounds like typical teen/ pre teen friendship dynamics. All you can do is encourage your daughter to invest some time in other friendships. I think once you turn up at another parent's front door filming them it's never going to result in a friendly discussion regardless of how long you've know them.

I wasn’t filming i was recording in my pocket so to cover myself. I would have called her but we stopped socialising about 3 years ago and no longer had her number. She was always at the school kicking off at the slightest thing so I distanced myself

OP posts:
Vodkamartini3olives · 22/11/2025 18:50

As difficult as it is, this just sounds like typical teen/ pre teen friendship dynamics. All you can do is encourage your daughter to invest some time in other friendships. I think once you turn up at another parent's front door filming them it's never going to result in a friendly discussion regardless of how long you've know them.

Lucy2586 · 22/11/2025 18:38

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 22/11/2025 18:35

You would know by now if the police were going to come round. I would just leave it and advise your daughter not to engage.

My DD will not engage my ex has been to the school and made sure that teachers are aware and they are kept apart as much as possible in class etc.

OP posts:
IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 22/11/2025 18:35

You would know by now if the police were going to come round. I would just leave it and advise your daughter not to engage.