To not particularly want Dd’s friend to help decorate the tree

You are both completely ridiculous 😂(the posters, not the OP)

It's not cheeky to ask if a friend can join in,

but it's not being "awkward and possessive" to decline.

Nah. It's not a matter of "boundaries" (ludicrously misused word in this forum), it's a simple matter of two little girls wanting to share their fun.

There's no harm in it if you don't mind but the OP clearly loves the traditions they have set up around this and doesn't want to change it or the dynamic. And that's fine, it's about what OP wants as well as the child.

Plus the kids are very young so in reality the OP's daughter might regret her choice of having a friend there when it actually happens, particularly if the friend wants to take over etc. Too much excitement and young children doesn't always work well.

I would go with the flow.
I think it would turn out better than you imagine.

DH was an only child from the age of 8 as his siblings died then. He said he absolutely hated Christmas as an only child and really wanted someone else to do Christmassy stuff with. I appreciate that's a totally different situation as there was a huge loss involved, but I do think Christmas activities such as decorating the tree can be more fun if you have a friend there.

However it's your absolute right to keep it as family time. I second the suggestions about inviting the friend for Christmas craft activities.

It is cheeky. There’s absolutely no boundaries.

YANBU it’s a family thing. You don’t need to feel bad for saying no!

Your DD is getting older and will start to have her own thoughts about doing Christmas things. It is worth thinking about having to be being less rigid about a family ‘tradition’ in anticipation of your DD not wanting to do the same thing every year anymore.

Its sad, but inevitable…

Nah, nothing "cheeky" about it, just two little girls wanting to share a fun activity.

But not being allowed to, by an awkwardly possessive mother.

But judging by the comments, that's a fashionable "look" these days.

no one normal wants to be the centre of their children' s life, but it's fine to keep Christmas as a family and not have friends for EVERYTHING.

My kids have a ridiculously busy social life but I think it's important to plan a few "family" and strictly family occasions throughout the year, maybe 1 or 2 a year are enough ,but Christmas is one of them.

You are letting this child dictate when she sees you. Be firmer.

Nope, don’t entertain this idea, Christmas traditions are precious family time so don’t be guilt tripped into changing that, even just once off.

Perfectly normal to start decorating at the beginning of December 😂When else are you supposed to do it!

I know some people are very early, others are very late, but early December is perfectly average, I can't see what the poster is on about (and taking off a tree to put another one, what? 😂😂)

Plus I don't know about you, but there are so many events and parties and all sorts in December, early December/late November is the only time we even have available to put the tree up anyway, unless we do a very rush job between 2 outings - which is not really the point.

OP - I agree with the first part of this comment. I was an only child and sad to say very lonely and loved it when my friend came anywhere with us as I didn't feel so alone. So maybe do something with her just not this.

Perhaps going forward you have to accept that things will change. Maybe think about it next Christmas but I don't think you should back down this year. She has been told no and that should be the end of it. Also your DD needs to understand she doesn't just get to make the decisions regarding who can join in your special family time.

If you do it for next Christmas it gives you a chance to prepare and accept things will be different and also maybe spend the next year setting a few boundries. Maybe have her round a little less and definitely call a halt to the 7:30 calls if they bother you.

If there's room in her room, why not buy a little tree and decs that she and her friend can do on a different day, maybe make a little treat for them afterwards like some Christmas cupcakes?

God no. Put your foot down! Nothing worse than a cheeky friend. And instil your daughter not to make plans without checking in with first

I agree with above,

gingerbread house gingerbread man to decorate with friends, can be even nicer for them than decorating a tree.

Nothing wrong with having a family day and a "friends" day the day before or after.

No one was wrong in this story, just invite for alternative and problem solved.

Well no, we don’t light pumpkins or eat chocolate eggs. Absolutely no law will be broken if people do but it’s not really what defines the holiday. And shutting your doors and leaving out a child is not the embodiment of the Christmas spirit. The OP is entitled to do it of course.

Don't really understand this, it does sound very precious to me. Your daughter is sure to enjoy the day more with her friend joining in.

And personally I find decorating the tree a rather dull chore, so having someone else to share the labour sounds a good idea.

Personally, I would let the child join in as I don't see what harm it can do. X

Personally, I would let the child join in as I don't see what harm it can do. X

But there would have been NO WAY I would even entertained answering the phone or door at 7:30am!

I can see both sides but if you want to keep it to the three of you just be clear and firm. Fwiw (and I work in education) I don't think it's good for children to get their own way all the time or have to be mollified with alternative treats when they don't; it's fine to say no.