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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it should be mandatory that dogs wear shorts to cover their genitals in public?

209 replies

mumofoneAloneandwell · 22/11/2025 10:17

Jennifer Lopez Reaction GIF

I love dogs. There's a dalmatian near me that brings me true joy during the school run 🥰

But now that I've admired your dog from my car, got my dopamine hit, I am now faced with the task of avoiding glancing at its testicles and therefore being mildly grossed out during the rest of my journey.

In 2025, I shouldn't be forced to see a dogs genitals!

Time to introduce 'dog boxer shorts' so I can go about my day in peace! Someone needs to get onto Kier Starmer, honestly.

OP posts:
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7
Marvelettesyouremyremedy · 23/11/2025 19:20

I'd love to see the idiot across the way try it with her unmuzzled mutant dog (XL bully)

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 23/11/2025 19:14

To be really crude it puts a new spin on the phrase "He thinks he is the dog's bollocks"

Boudica70 · 23/11/2025 19:05

🤣

To think it should be mandatory that dogs wear shorts to cover their genitals in public?
GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 23/11/2025 18:41

ThisRedLion · 23/11/2025 18:36

What a ridiculous statement

!

Christopher Reeve Reaction GIF
ThisRedLion · 23/11/2025 18:36

What a ridiculous statement

MMUmum · 23/11/2025 18:13

To further the point, should they wear them under their pyjamas 😅😅

Allergictoironing · 23/11/2025 18:10

Parsleyforme · 22/11/2025 11:45

I’m sure I heard about a study which showed men and women pictures of different dogs and the men were very drawn to looking at their genitals but the women weren’t. I can’t find it now so I may have dreamt it, but I’m sure I heard it on the QI podcast 🤔

While looking for it I found out that someone won an Ig Nobel Prize in 2005 for inventing Neuticles* *- silicone testicle replacements for neutered dogs whose owners want them to appear more “virile”. Is there a chance that the Dalmatian might be sporting a pair of XL Neuticles at his owner’s request??

Yep the study was was on QI. Basically it highlighted that men's first focus was on genitals whatever species, but not women's focus.

Neuticles or similar were featured on an episode of Bondi Vet many years ago. The owner of a bulldog was getting dragged all over the place and the vet suggested castration & she said her partner refused to consider it as he wouldn't be seen with a male dog without bollocks and he would find it emasculating! Men a VERY weird about their balls. Anyway, partner was happy to pay the many thousands of A$ to have fake balls inserted into the sacks left when they did the castration. Stupid man (sigh).

@dontletmedownbruce Female dogs do have bleeds but it's sort of the opposite of periods in humans - they can bleed when they are on heat and fertile.

Iremembercandlecove · 23/11/2025 10:58

🤣🤣🤣

Heaviestdirtyestsoul · 23/11/2025 10:55

Cock-aways for my cocker spaniel!

KimberleyClark · 23/11/2025 10:50

PandaCwtch · 22/11/2025 10:23

Is it just intact male dogs then? Do you take issue with female dogs? Would they need to wear knickers rather than boxers? What about neutered males - no testicles, but still liable to get the lipstick out on occasion?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. At the lipstick reference!

I’ve seen dogs in onesies, they are usually post surgery and it’s an alternative to the cone of shame. They look really funny, especially big athletic dogs.

WorriedRelative · 23/11/2025 10:45

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 22/11/2025 10:56

It's a very kind offer, but do you know, I won't... thanks all the same!

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Some people have no sense of adventure!

Slothisavirtue · 22/11/2025 22:48

CoubousAndTourmaIet · 22/11/2025 22:47

Everyone refers to our girl as "he" all the time, because she's very big. Apparently all large dogs must be male 🙄

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Grin
CoubousAndTourmaIet · 22/11/2025 22:47

Slothisavirtue · 22/11/2025 22:29

I tend not to look at their genitals and just call them he/she randomly and then if the owner looks offended I know I got it wrong Grin

Show quote history

Everyone refers to our girl as "he" all the time, because she's very big. Apparently all large dogs must be male 🙄

YourMotherSortsSocksInHell · 22/11/2025 22:46

@raspberrieswithchocolate

That, right there, is why Mumsnet is such a great thing,

A light hearted post by an OP leads to an almost throwaway post by another poster who has a problem. A further poster picks it up and proposes a potential solution.

Excellent.

raspberrieswithchocolate · 22/11/2025 22:39

IaltagDhubh · 22/11/2025 11:57

Take my money! I have a long haired breed, who unfortunately has alopecia. She wears a fleece jumper to keep her warm but it doesn’t cover her bum. She gets proper spooked on a breezy day by a cold gust on her bare buttocks. I think she’d really appreciate a pair of long johns. No doubt the neighbours already assume I’m bonkers so…

Try an Equafleece dog suit, hopefully it'll help.
https://www.equafleece.co.uk/products/dogs/dog-suit

Polartec Fleece Dog Suit - Rainproof, Breathable, Warm and Washable - Equafleece

The Equafleece Dog Suit has become one of our best sellers, a four legged garment for all over protection from the wet, improved drying and extra warmth.

https://www.equafleece.co.uk/products/dogs/dog-suit

YourMotherSortsSocksInHell · 22/11/2025 22:37

Slothisavirtue · 22/11/2025 22:29

I tend not to look at their genitals and just call them he/she randomly and then if the owner looks offended I know I got it wrong Grin

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To be fair, my dear, departed mother always used to refer to cats as "she" and dogs as "he" even though she had a male cat for over 15 years and all our dogs for the last 30 years have been female.

Slothisavirtue · 22/11/2025 22:29

YourMotherSortsSocksInHell · 22/11/2025 22:27

YABVVU

How am I supposed to know whether to say:

"Aww, she's gorgeous".

or

"Aww, he's gorgeous".

If I can't see their genitals.

Are you suggesting dogs wear pronoun badges?

I tend not to look at their genitals and just call them he/she randomly and then if the owner looks offended I know I got it wrong Grin

YourMotherSortsSocksInHell · 22/11/2025 22:27

YABVVU

How am I supposed to know whether to say:

"Aww, she's gorgeous".

or

"Aww, he's gorgeous".

If I can't see their genitals.

Are you suggesting dogs wear pronoun badges?

YeOldeGreyhound · 22/11/2025 22:18

GaIadriel · 22/11/2025 22:03

My mate has a doggy backpack with a little window/air vents because her pomeranian refuses to walk for more than about five mins. I'm not even joking.

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I have seen people with cats in clear backpacks like that.
I get it if the cat needs to go to the vet, or the owner is going away and wants to take the cat with them. But cats don't need to go out for walks. When did this become a thing?

YeOldeGreyhound · 22/11/2025 22:17

fuzzyduck1 · 22/11/2025 22:00

Totally agree.

Dog owners should also have a dog pram with them at all times in case their little fur babies get tired on a walk to take them home in.

The dog owners I know the have dog prams have them because their dog is elderly and struggles to walk far.

GaIadriel · 22/11/2025 22:03

fuzzyduck1 · 22/11/2025 22:00

Totally agree.

Dog owners should also have a dog pram with them at all times in case their little fur babies get tired on a walk to take them home in.

My mate has a doggy backpack with a little window/air vents because her pomeranian refuses to walk for more than about five mins. I'm not even joking.

fuzzyduck1 · 22/11/2025 22:00

Totally agree.

Dog owners should also have a dog pram with them at all times in case their little fur babies get tired on a walk to take them home in.

GaIadriel · 22/11/2025 21:59

Well, unlike with human males it's possible to pay for them to be chopped off. 😉

Slothisavirtue · 22/11/2025 21:56

Andthatrightsoon · 22/11/2025 21:43

Germaine Greer put dogs' testicles into her Room 101 ...

Legend Grin
I need to find that clip!

Slothisavirtue · 22/11/2025 21:55

I just want to know how big the dog must be if it's testicles are in your line of sight ?!

My dog has enormous testicles though. They are obscene. I am always trying to persuade DH let me put some pants on him (on the dog I mean. DH generally at least wears pants)