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My husband just hit me in front of our 2 year old daughter

202 replies

Needanadvice · 22/11/2025 00:15

My husband just hit me in front of my 2 year old daughter.

I’m terrified for my daughter that she had to witness this …

OP posts:
Blueyelloworange · 22/11/2025 06:31

Absolutely call the police. And keep trying the National abuse helpline- they get alot of calls but you will get through eventually: 0808 2000 247. You can also chat to them online if that feels more manageable from 10am via thier website: www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/how-we-can-support-you/

They Will listen and believe you and help you make a safety plan.

There is also specific help available for women from different parts of the world and or different ethnicities if you feel that would help.

The helpline can direct you, or as an example you could try Southall Black Sisters. Thier helpline is open between 10 and 4 on weekdays or you can email on 020 8571 0800 [email protected] They are especially good if you are worried about your immigration status.

But the first step is to call the police and to get somewhere safe, OP. Well done for reaching out for help. You are such a strong person and mother for doing so. Sending you love and support.

ApiratesaysYarrr · 22/11/2025 06:22

Needanadvice · 22/11/2025 00:26

He has started to abuse me emotionally intensively since the birth of our daughter, every day there are insults like “look at you- fat cow”, “ you are a fucking cunt”, “you are a fucking idiot”, “
I want a divorce”, “ can’t wait for you to get out of this house”, “ I can’t stand you “.
Today the insults continued for so long I spit on his face of disgust - he stood up he hit me very hard and he spit on me in my face. Then, he did like he will box me and all of this while I was holding my daughter. Then he took my hand saying “come
hit me, come hit me “

Today the insults continued for so long I spit on his face of disgust - he stood up he hit me very hard and he spit on me in my face.

It is completely unacceptable for him to hit you, but it's also unacceptable for you to spit in his face (which it sounds like you did first, before he hit you).

This relationship is no good for any of you, and it sounds as if it is best for all of you that you separate asap.

Bearbookagainandagain · 22/11/2025 06:15

Needanadvice · 22/11/2025 00:43

What can the police do ?
I was calling the national abuse line - no answer. I have tried to reach them so many times - never available. It looks so scary, where am I going to go in a foreign country with a 2 year old?

The police will be able to keep him away from you and your daughter, for a start. Even if it's his house.

AlwaysTheRenegade · 22/11/2025 06:07

Lavender14 · 22/11/2025 01:18

Also op if he spat at your dd and he's abused you in front of her then he has directly abused her. Spitting on someone is a form of assault. He's assaulted her by doing that. Please ring social services gateway so they can support you to protect her from him as well. If you are the one to step up and ask for help they will look at that as you doing all the right things to protect her. If they find out second hand from her school or neighbours etc then it will look like you hid it to protect him at her expense.

It's wrong all around, but I think OP said she spat at him first when he was shouting at her, so I don't know if she should mention that, as you said it's assault.

it's good he's gone now OP. Don't give him any more chances, get help from your sister and whatever organisations you can find (there will be help ❤) to start a new, peaceful life.

FairKoala · 22/11/2025 05:50

Call the police. This is assault. If someone grabbed or hit you in the street the police would be called.

At the very least they can help you take a restraining order against him and escort him from the house if he chooses to come back .

Remember UK divorce law means that the starting point for divorce is 50/50 of what ever you own and things like “his house” can be considered marital property and with a child to house and the assault then your percentage will reflect this accordingly. Also with the assault you can ask for supervised visitation as he cannot be trusted to manage his temper around her especially as he spit in her face and he got you whilst you were holding him.

childrenaremyworld · 22/11/2025 05:44

Please phone the police, I’ve been in your situation, I phoned the police, they arrested ex h and he was put on bail for 3 months, with a target on the house. The NCDV line will help you get a non molestation order. Find a refuge in your area and seek help from women’s aid. You and your deserve so much better. I can kind of understand why you lashed out also, after so many years of abuse your emotions build and you fight back. Be strong, do this for your little girl xxx

Chickadee001 · 22/11/2025 05:40

I hope you both got to a place of safety and SHAME on the trolls who voted that this was reasonable!

Barnbrack · 22/11/2025 05:36

Toenailz · 22/11/2025 01:52

No. She is meant to get herself and her daughter to a place of safety, not escalate by assaulting him.

Verbal abuse is utterly disgraceful - but it is not a physical assault which in this case, was quite the escalation.

I don't expect her to tolerate verbal abuse. I don't expect him to tolerate having his face spat on. Nor do I expect any parent to perpetrate any abuse and put their child at risk - both have done exactly that.

The problem is - neither party are doing the right thing for their daughter, and both of them are perpetrating abuse instead. When you're a parent, there becomes a point you have to behave like one, and in this case, the pair of them need to do the right thing here.

Why won't both take some personal responsibility as both are perpetrators? If I have my daughter with me and I'm on the receiving end of verbal abuse by ANYONE, the last thing I'm doing is spitting in their face for fucks sake. Ridiculous, on all counts in this situation. Utterly gross behaviour by both parents whom, let's be reminded, are supposed to be setting an example for their daughter.

Or is that the example? - That we verbally abuse people? Or that when we don't like what someone says to us, we spit in their face? Or if someone spits our face, we return the favour and add in hitting for extra measure? There is no defending any of this. At all.

Edited

This is not mutual abuse ffs

He is a man in his own country while she is a vulnerable woman in foreign country with a baby.

Ridiculous statement

Billybagpuss · 22/11/2025 05:08

What’s your situation financially? Are you renting are you both on the deed? How long have you been married and most importantly does baby have a passport can you go home to your family?

Lilacblu · 22/11/2025 04:58

Call womens aid... If he's done this once he s too dangerous to be around.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 22/11/2025 04:15

Police - please call them. They can do loads.

Women's Aid... They're fab and are the experts.

Get all your allies around you today... Either in person or on phone... Let them know what's happening.

Please don't let this man around your child... Or make your child motherless..

Tragically it happens.

Chickensky · 22/11/2025 03:20

Tainiz · 22/11/2025 02:29

Retired police officer here.
OP, you must phone the police NOW. Tell them what happened and tell them you are scared he will come back. They will be able to put you in touch with agencies to help you. But please do this now.

Giving this a bump just in case it was missed. Ignore some posters who are not realising this is in the moment ask for help. Please follow advice above.

ImGoneUnderground · 22/11/2025 02:45

Deebee90 · 22/11/2025 02:17

I agree . They’ve both assaulted each other . Op do you work? Whose name is the house/ flat in? You can kick him out all you want but if he’s paying the bills you need to think hard and fast over what to do. Report everything to the police and then seek guidance on next steps.

He bloody hit her, previously verbally abused her for having a child, also in front of a small child......this obviously isn't the first time, but hopefully the last time. Unhealthy relationship yes, & vile actions from both - but - I agree, actual physical abuse......what would you do? Let him hit her because maybe he pays the bills?? Come on.....

Farticus101 · 22/11/2025 02:31

If you call the police, they can stop your husband coming into immediate contact with you. They advise your best steps. It's important to contact them for your own safety and your child's.

Also, check if you get legal aid so you can put an emergency order in place for longer term protection.

Tainiz · 22/11/2025 02:29

Retired police officer here.
OP, you must phone the police NOW. Tell them what happened and tell them you are scared he will come back. They will be able to put you in touch with agencies to help you. But please do this now.

ImGoneUnderground · 22/11/2025 02:28

Needanadvice · 22/11/2025 00:15

My husband just hit me in front of my 2 year old daughter.

I’m terrified for my daughter that she had to witness this …

Who the hell put that YRBU?? Even if you don't have 'money' , you & your child's safety is more important. Call local police wherever you are, look up women's protection organizations, get away from him, get to an embassy if not in UK, terrified for you, not just your child. He sound like a misogynist psycho.
Maybe Red Cross /Salvation Army or similar / hospital ? if not in UK? Where are you? Walk away, even with just what you can carry, + water & baby food, & never go back. Or, maybe contact his parents, as this is their grandchild?? Please update xx
You just posted this just 2 hours ago - you have access to internet?? Good luck, don't be afraid, this is the first step.

Deebee90 · 22/11/2025 02:17

PersephonePomegranate · 22/11/2025 01:30

You spat at him?!

I understand that he has been verbally and emotonally abusive, but is that not assault? It's absolutely disgusting.

You need to end this.

I agree . They’ve both assaulted each other . Op do you work? Whose name is the house/ flat in? You can kick him out all you want but if he’s paying the bills you need to think hard and fast over what to do. Report everything to the police and then seek guidance on next steps.

Maureenwasacat · 22/11/2025 02:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This woman has dealt with two years of emotional abuse which has turned physical, I don't think now is the time to chide her.

OP, it was always going to end up in his being violent because he wants to hurt you. It doesn't get better and there's no right thing for you to do that will fix how he is. Please call the police and do not forgive him.

Missy0901 · 22/11/2025 02:07

Needanadvice · 22/11/2025 00:15

My husband just hit me in front of my 2 year old daughter.

I’m terrified for my daughter that she had to witness this …

Also don’t fall for the I won’t do it again etc cos he will say that. Once u let him back it will escalate do u want ur daughter to grow thinking its ok for men to do this think that threw

Missy0901 · 22/11/2025 02:05

Toenailz · 22/11/2025 01:52

No. She is meant to get herself and her daughter to a place of safety, not escalate by assaulting him.

Verbal abuse is utterly disgraceful - but it is not a physical assault which in this case, was quite the escalation.

I don't expect her to tolerate verbal abuse. I don't expect him to tolerate having his face spat on. Nor do I expect any parent to perpetrate any abuse and put their child at risk - both have done exactly that.

The problem is - neither party are doing the right thing for their daughter, and both of them are perpetrating abuse instead. When you're a parent, there becomes a point you have to behave like one, and in this case, the pair of them need to do the right thing here.

Why won't both take some personal responsibility as both are perpetrators? If I have my daughter with me and I'm on the receiving end of verbal abuse by ANYONE, the last thing I'm doing is spitting in their face for fucks sake. Ridiculous, on all counts in this situation. Utterly gross behaviour by both parents whom, let's be reminded, are supposed to be setting an example for their daughter.

Or is that the example? - That we verbally abuse people? Or that when we don't like what someone says to us, we spit in their face? Or if someone spits our face, we return the favour and add in hitting for extra measure? There is no defending any of this. At all.

Edited

Tbh now u said all that yeah I get that I do I just get defensive as been here my self

cannynotsay · 22/11/2025 02:01

Call the police to log as evidence. From the UK or not, you’re here now and we do not accept abuse. Logging this is a good way and having crime references etc. you can be cared for a looked after you and your daughter. I’m assuming your daughter is a British and born here now? Even call 999 they can help support you. Get your sister with you. Don’t let him control you, get away from him. You need to get out for your daughter.

bluecampbell · 22/11/2025 01:56

OP have you called the police? Are you safe now?

Toenailz · 22/11/2025 01:52

Missy0901 · 22/11/2025 01:44

So she is meant to just sit there and take that vileness lol

No. She is meant to get herself and her daughter to a place of safety, not escalate by assaulting him.

Verbal abuse is utterly disgraceful - but it is not a physical assault which in this case, was quite the escalation.

I don't expect her to tolerate verbal abuse. I don't expect him to tolerate having his face spat on. Nor do I expect any parent to perpetrate any abuse and put their child at risk - both have done exactly that.

The problem is - neither party are doing the right thing for their daughter, and both of them are perpetrating abuse instead. When you're a parent, there becomes a point you have to behave like one, and in this case, the pair of them need to do the right thing here.

Why won't both take some personal responsibility as both are perpetrators? If I have my daughter with me and I'm on the receiving end of verbal abuse by ANYONE, the last thing I'm doing is spitting in their face for fucks sake. Ridiculous, on all counts in this situation. Utterly gross behaviour by both parents whom, let's be reminded, are supposed to be setting an example for their daughter.

Or is that the example? - That we verbally abuse people? Or that when we don't like what someone says to us, we spit in their face? Or if someone spits our face, we return the favour and add in hitting for extra measure? There is no defending any of this. At all.

Terrytheweasel · 22/11/2025 01:48

Needanadvice · 22/11/2025 00:54

I just put her to sleep but she was shaking 😞 as he spat towards her as well as he was spitting me. She got so scared

Edited

This was me. Never take him back whatever he says or does, it’s done. I stupidly fell for the bs again and fell pregnant for a second time and he did the same again. They never change, they just get more abusive.

Missy0901 · 22/11/2025 01:44

So she is meant to just sit there and take that vileness lol

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