Differences between college and school I've got one in each I can't believe the difference ?

My kids both went to colleges and we were offered parents evenings. One I went to because he is quieter and we didn't have a sense of how he was getting on. The other we didn't go to because he is a walking stream of consciousness anyway and we could tell he was navigating it just fine (as was the other one it turned out).

My parents didn't go to my sixth form evenings and I don't think them going would have made any difference to my performance. To some extent it's a good time to get a feel for how they're likely to manage at uni.

My DS is at college doing a vocational subject. We had two 10 minute parent meetings in his first year. The second year I had an email saying he was doing really well and no need for a meeting but I could request one if I wanted... I didn't as DS is obviously engaged and motivated. We'll have one in March though to discuss next steps etc. His college are very good with their careers focus and there's a lot of emphasis on this. We also have an app with details of attendance, targets, progress against the assessments etc.
It is definitely more 'grown up' than school though!

This. It’s about supporting them to do the right thing and make the right choices as someone soon reaching adulthood more than being in direct contact with the teachers as though they’re a child.

I just thought this was interesting “It seems you will need to take all the initiative with the college”

IMO the whole point is that the DD takes the initiative. The next step after this is either university or work and they won’t have a parent there either.

I think we have to be careful not to do too much - because all we’re doing is setting them up for failure in the real world.

Kids are in school because they have to be.
Kids are in college because they want to be.

I'm howling at the idea of parents night in college, esp with older students, 23 year old Bobs mum rocking up for parents night!
Also some rural kids might be in college miles from home.

Kids need to take responsibity for themselves at some point. Thats also what employers are looking for.

It depends on the subject he's doing? A lecturer in hairdressing will be a hairdresser first and foremost, a lecturer in plumbing will be a plumber. They then learn how to be a teacher of plumbing on the job in college. Some have been teaching it and are now qualified teachers with 20 plus years of experience. Some will be at the start of their journey. What course is he doing.

Surely if grading is an issue, and it may or may not be, for him then he needs to make sure he picks a pathway suited to his needs, you said he would be going to uni, perhaps thats not his pathway. I think too many kids go to uni, its assumed that all kids should or will go and I don think that is the right mindset at all.

Well OP, if you think colleges should be better staffed, so they have capacity for more pastoral support, you could lobby your MP for more funding for them - presumably based on higher taxation.

DC college has parents evenings and reports - but yes there is less information from them but they've all been ready for that TBH.

DH did college I did school sixth form - both feel very strongly college was better preparation for uni.

Not sure sixth forms here were great with UCAS either TBH in our area listening to their mates who stayed in the school system.

So college could be a good wake up call for your DS...

When I was teaching in an FE college, we’d have parents’ evening and hope for parents to turn up! They rarely did.

In college they’re ’young adults’, it’s all about freedom and independence. My DD is in her first year and I’ve only contacted them once before she started to order uniform. DD has sorted and arranged everything she’s needed to herself. The tutor has regular contact with them by email when needed

I cannot believe how much we infantilise young people these days. College is not school. It’s not for children. There shouldn’t be parents evenings etc

In a college environment, your son has the opportunity to take ownership of his own learning in preparation for going to uni, starting with asking about his progress and what his next goals should be. Your role as the mother of a person approaching adulthood us to encourage him to do those things, and work towards becoming the independent learner he will need to be at 16.

Regardless of the academic outcomes (which I mention in previous comment, may well be better), he will probably come out better prepared for work and higher education - which also expect you to be the primary driver of your own success.

This used to be the case in the 80s when I did A levels too. School 6th forms were more like schools and FE colleges were pretty much like higher education colleges. I could see that with schools becoming much more hands on that would likely affect their 6th forms too, so the difference may be even more pronounced now.

The thing is, historically, if you adjust for factors like Student affluence, FE colleges get better results than school 6th forms (as well as offering courses schools tend to be unable to do). So that independence may well have benefits for students approaching adulthood.

What are you using as the benchmark to determine 'better educated'?

Yes similar here, Im of the view tht generally speaking (there are always outliers) college would be better for kids, more grown up and independent.

My DS did A levels at sixth form college and I don’t recognise this approach at all. He had regular parents evenings, a very supportive tutor who we could approach at any time. Plus loads of information sessions and emails about university applications, both for parents and the pupils.

Was yours an FE college as that may be the difference?