Trying to keep this short and factual.
Been with my partner 15 years. 5 kids. Two eldest are not ours by birth. My Sister passed away 10 years ago and her kids came to us. Also have one (long term been here 6 years) foster child and 2 bio kids all under 7years.
SIL is getting married. I've never met her. DHs family is very fractured. He has seen her once in last 15 years but they talk /text weekly and I always say hi to her on video calls. She seems fine towards me, very friendly.
Get her wedding invite in the post this week. It's just DHs name. He said I was wrong and we're obviously all invited. He double checks with her and she said no Its just him. No space issues this is a 3 day wedding very big lavish affair. She said we aren't invited because she doesn't know us.
DH then asked her if she would consider inviting us as well because he doesn't want to go alone. He doesn't talk to anyone else in his family and is understandably a bit anxious seeing them all after so long.
She has replied that he can bring our youngest two bio kids but not the older three as they "aren't related to her".
I've actually said nothing to DH because I can see he's hurt. He is still going to go.
I've said to keep things fair none of the kids can go because I can't and won't explain this to them all. So that's my AIBU really. Dh wants to take them because he's worried about being on his own and also his family has never met them and it could be a good time.
Sometimes things just really kick you in the teeth when you aren't expecting it and this is one of those times. It's really got me down. I don't want to slate his sister to him because she's the last person in his family he talks to. But I'm really hurt.