To ask you what is the worst thing your MIL has done or said to you?

sorry....so sorry...three losses

I am so very sorry for both your losses.. I hope she is not in your life at all any more she is a total BITCH

@IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour I understand. After two late miscarriages and losing our second son after just a few hours at 27 weeks, MIL announced "such a shame you can't perform". I have others but that took the biscuit.

She's has been a widow for more than 15 years, has no friends and her daughters went abroad more than 35 years ago and very very rarely visit. She's 89 now with no friends, having fallen out with many people. Initially butter wouldn't melt but she can't keep it up.

She's a nasty, bitter bitch. So long ago now, dd who was born 51 weeks later is 27. I have never forgiven her but got the measure of her that day.

Gave me bathroom scales as a birthday present when I was one month postpartum!

My mil has some kind of anti filter. Like her brain says don't say that and it's all she can say.

We had a miscarriage and later got engaged and she said 'ud have been happier if you'd said you were pregnant again' well, me too but we'd actually just suffered another miscarriage she didn't know about.

So many things after our kids were born.

She's actually ok though and kind deep down I think just a bit selfish and spoilt

mine... well she has been gone for many years now. It was a very small wedding planned (both our second, both the primary parents for our children, (me a daughter, my husband 2 sons) , hurricane hit our place of honeymoon 4 days before wedding. we had to choose...our wedding, or cancel it and have our wedding the evening before as we could catch a flight to a different area the next morning (punta cana) . she said.. well maybe this is a sign. maybe you are not right for each other. we got married the night before we took our honeymoon to punta cana. We are over 20 years married now...retired at 55 and for the last 3 almost 4 years...live in punta cana! after our honeymoon we fell in love with this island and came at least 3 x per year...now we go up to canada 2x a year to visit our kids.

I had major hear surgery and some serious complications after. I couldn’t eat afterwards - a sort of anorexia I think due to the trauma of it all. Over a few months I lost two stone. When I had some really helpful therapy (EMDR that I mentioned on another thread) I began to pick up physically and mentally. When I visited MiL I told her I was fancying food again which I was pleased about as I had lost so much weight. Her gem of a reply? “Well you had it to lose”. Charming.

Flippantly said oh your grandad had that when we told her her son had incurable prostate cancer. I can't forgive her or FIL for not telling my husband of the family history.

My MIL was brilliant, and excellent grandma. I miss her like mad...
My mum, not so much.

That’s so awful.
Im lucky my mil is lovely, she just sometimes makes some backhanded compliments like “like wow youre so beautiful today, you mustve lost weight!”
”not really but thank you!”
”oh no you mustve done you looked much bigger last time I saw you!”

And somethint about how she assumed Id be massive with my second child since I was so big with my first.🤔

My mum can be similar.

Why are they so obsessed with weight?

We asked my MIL for an apology. Her reply was "I didn't do that, how can you think that if me. I won't tell FIL you think that or me"

She has never apologized for her behaviour or the things she has done in 10 years of marriage

I wasn't referring to your post, but the people clearly upset by the DILs here sharing their own experiences, which are frankly awful. Can you understand why DILs who have had these experiences feel the way they do?

I know there are some very lovely MILs out there. My own mother is one of them, she loves her DIL and they are very close.

My MIL is not like that. She frequently lets my DH know she can't understand why he's married to me. I'm VLC with her now, only see her when absolutely necessary. I didn't think it would be like this, as we had a good relationship before DH and I married. But, honestly, her behaviour makes me wonder if she's from another species sometimes.

Naturally, people will want to vent about shitty MILs more than others will want to gush about how wonderful their MILs are. And I think that's okay, isn't it?

She looked into my newborn son’s pram and said “wow, he really doesn’t get anything from you does he?” She then began calling him “my little {insert exh’s first name}”.

Her delightful son left me when I was 8 months’ pregnant with DS2 having had an affair. She told so many lies about me and spread all kinds of nasty rumours saying I wouldn’t let him see the DC because she knew he’d made no effort to see them. So lucky to raise my kids without that poisonous witch in our lives.

Saying she was disappointed at not getting a new grandchild when I had an ectopic pregnancy

My MIL pointing out what our autistic son can't do infront if him in a mocking way.

He was 3, and non verbal at the time. She asked him his age and said "what, don't you know your own age" in a very patronising mocking voice

At the funeral of DH's Grandpa, MIL asked what the fuck I was doing there as I wasn't family. We were married, over 10 years. There's a long list of similar outbursts.

She really ranted for a long, loud time; other family members tried to shut her up without success.

To his credit, DH stepped in & threatened to throw her on the fire with her Dad if she didn't shut up.

Why just MIL though? Mother's can be just as bad sadly

At a family wedding where my dh was the best man (groom was his little brother) the photographer asked for the family to go up for pics with the bride and groom. DH beckoned for me to go up, MIL said ‘no, it’s family only’, but took my small baby daughter off me to go in the photo with DH. I was so shocked I just stood there, with DH looking mortified but no one wanting to cause a fuss mid-wedding. That was a long time ago and I didn’t have the confidence to call her out. It would have been a different outcome if it happened now! I have been NC with her now for many years over many similar instances.

She was determined to hate me from day one because she wanted him to marry his girlfriend prior to me. I genuinely don’t think it’s me who is the issue as I never really fall out with people and she’s the only person I’ve ever cut contact with completely.

Nothing, because she’s lovely and I like her very much.

My MIL is as you describe 🥰

There were many awful things she did but the worst was receiving a court summons for three days later, 500 mile away from where we lived at the time.
I was expected to attend.
It was for access to her grandchildren. My children.
We paid a solicitor to represent us and the case was thrown out of court.
That would be 2015. Not heard from her since. Think she's still alive though.

My MIL was ok, just a bit of a fusspot, but FIL was horrible. Lots of examples of his nasty comments, for instance-
DH rang to tell him our eldest had been born and he replied Oh not another boy! (he already had a grandson).
We were taking photos at Christmas and he told me to leave the group as I wasn't family.
DD bought him some socks for his birthday and he said, with a look of disgust, Where on earth am I going to wear these? (I pointed out that 7 year old DD had bought these with her pocket money and he could at least say thank you).
He was generally ok to our two DC but he didn't hide that he didn't like SIL's two sons with the result that as adults, his grandchildren couldn't stand him and wanted nothing to do with him.

That I should have been over it by now. One week after having a miscarriage.

Called me the n word and also said because my little boy never actually "lived" (died at birth) I had no reason to be upset