Am I unreasonable to stop my mum helping me with driving the kids to school

I'm speaking from experience. If you are smelling booze on her in the morning she is already drinking far more than you realise. If she is an alcoholic she will not see anything wrong in her actions and she will twist it, gaslight you and try to make you feel guilty for your decisions. Sending love. It's a horrible situation to be in. Do you have any other family members to help you or who you could confide in?

Well she just has to deal with the consequences of her drinking - she’s not allowed to drive the kids to school. I personally wouldn’t allow her to look after the kids alone at all unless they are over 10. She may well feel pushed out but that’s just tough. She is in denial and will never get out of denial unless she faces consequences

No I wouldn’t let her drive my kids - as a side note my dh can smell of alcohol if he’s had whiskey the night before even if it’s only 1….. so he doesn’t drink it anymore, with exception of perhaps an evening where he isn’t going to drive the next day, if she doesn’t have a problem then she will find it easy not to have a drink

A friends child was killed by another friend driving whilst drunk. It’s illegal for a reason. The killer went to jail.

In your place I'd take the advice of other posters here & buy a breathalyser, for your mum's sake as well as your kids, the single-use ones are well under a tenner.
She's likely working off heuristics about her drinking that she feels are confirmed as correct because she's never been pulled by the police in a morning. We're approaching Christmas though, which means more police spot-checks in the mornings so her chances of getting a tug are increased. A reality check could do you all a power of good, quite aside from child safety, who's going to be running her around if she loses her licence?

I'd call the police on her. Don't care if it's your mother. She needs to be banned.

You would be more unreasonable to allow her to drive your kids anywhere knowing she's drunk or possibly hungover. I'd rather offend her by stopping her driving the kids to school than risk the possibility of her harming your kids and others on the road with her dangerous behaviour driving under the influence of alcohol. How long have you been allowing her to drive your kids to school when you're smelling alcohol on her? Put a stop to it. She can't even seem to see she has a problem as she is trying to justify why she feels it's ok to be driving at all when she's been drinking

Shut it dead, no debate, its not exclusion, you're dealing with facts, and the facts are you dont want your DC driven by anyone who thinks its acceptable to drive having had drink. Thats fact. Her actions put her in that bracket, not yours. No nastiness, no blame, no anger, no explosion, no twisting. Simple facts.

I'd rather cut my mother off forever than risk DS being driven by a drunk.

This, before she kills someone.

That would be a hard no from me! I’d rather offend her and hurt her feelings than bury my children, so no thanks..I’d make alternative arrangements and get her help because it’s one thing to hurt/kill oneself while drink driving but she could hurt others and potentially kill.

YABU to even be in doubt about this. Wow.

The smell of booze on someone's breath isn't necessarily an indicator that they're still over the limit, as the smell will vary depending on what they've been drinking and there are various other factors.

However, I certainly wouldn't put kids in a car with someone who stank of booze! Not in a million years.

Even if she wasn't over the limit, she's not exactly going to be in a great state, is she? I'd assume she was hungover and knackered.

You were only being unreasonable if you let them go with her having suspicions. She could kill someone.

If you think she's driving while drunk you really need to report her before she hurts herself or even worse someone else.

She needs help.

It's not only driving that's the issue!

Oh my god, never let her drive your children - or hopefully anyone!

She doesn't drive your kids until she's done an alcohol program and has at the very least a year of sobriety.

She's risking you and your children's lives along with anyone else on the road. Impaired drivers hurt and maim people for life all the time.

I'd report her, she shouldn't be driving at all.

Well if she’s under the limit she’s got nothing to worry about if they breathalyse her.

Absolutely no chance. Imagine something happened. You’d never forgive yourself.

So did I.

Have you lost your mind?

I voted YABU because I can’t believe you even have to ask that question.

She shouldn't be driving hungover, even if she's no longer over the limit. So no I wouldn't let her drive your child anywhere. Aside from at the least, if she is involved in an accident and at the very least she was breathalysed. You would maybe have to answer some tough questions as a parent.

It's not worth it.

Awkward as hell, but could you get some home tests. If you can smell it she’s definitely over the limit imo. Also I’ve noticed with my elderly mum it seems to take her a lot longer to process the alcohol than it used to.