That being a dad in a split relationship doesn’t give you the lions share in all family milestones.

31 replies

Alwaysthereforthechaos · 21/11/2025 10:58

I guess I’m just frustrated, it was a big milestone for DSS over the past few days. DH has been sidelined in the protection of DSS’s mum.
Is this normal?

OP posts:

Abracadabrador · 21/11/2025 11:21

What did the mother need protected from?

The original post is too vague to comment much on.

NewCushions · 21/11/2025 11:14

Very difficult to asses based on what you've said. In theory, with a healthy co-parenting relationship, there would be no problem sharing milestones - big birthdays, graduations, weddings etc.

But you don't say what the relationship is, the history, or why he's being "sidelined".

ExBIL is outraged that he doesn't get to spend whatever time he likes with nephews, whenever he likes. But hasn't got the memo that this needs to go both ways and as he doesn't turn up if he doesn't feel like, regularly skips out on contact time etc, it's a bit rich if he thinks he therefore should be prioritised when HE wants to be prioritised.

DH's parents on the other hand have always managed a polite, collaborative approach to all bigger milestones and there have been no issues wiht grandparent time, weddings, christenings, christmasses etc.

TheatricalLife · 21/11/2025 11:14

Too vague to comment really. It's rarely as simple as a just a yes or no in these cases.

BelatrixLestrange · 21/11/2025 11:14

Context is everything. Every family and situation is different.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 21/11/2025 11:11

If he was 80/20 with his mum and dad, the milestones will be 80/20 too.

OriginalSkang · 21/11/2025 11:09

I think its really hard to comment with this little detail

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