That being a dad in a split relationship doesn’t give you the lions share in all family milestones.

Whst milestone events? Why can't he organise them.if they are e.g.birthdays?

Is DSS older and asking dad not to come?

If dad really does a true 50/50 as in covering not just weekends and school holidays, but being the parent on weekdays, doing the school runs, helping with homework, going to doctors appts, etc, then yes it is unfair to not share important events. If dad instead gets the children around his work schedule, then I don’t think there is anything wrong with prioritizing the parent who does the bulk of the hard parenting.

No idea.

She needs to out the kids first. End of. The rest is nonsense. She uses them as a weapon by purposely excluding their PARENT from important events. Do you not think the kid wants both parents there ?

Normally 50/50 means no maintenance payments so why is your DH paying for everything. Can't you do a separate celebration of your DSS's milestone event when he is at your house?

We know nothing about the woman.

Not sure who she needs protection from, who expects the man to not attend something (or who organised the event), or why the man doesnt organise his own event.

Where did you see about the child being used as a weapon?

Ergh. I hate these women. Using this kids as a weapon and making it all about them.

Unless this is something thats organised and paid for by her (such as a birthday party) she can't stop him attending. He needs to put his relationship with his child before his ex's feelings and stop not attending things that he can because it might hurt her feelings.

I like to work on the assumption that the OP is being honest and upfront - it's an anonomous forum after all - but your consistent vagueness makes me 100% certain we're not getting the whole story.

50:50 care? Okay, so then why not organise milestones during his 50% time? Birthday? DC can do something with mum and something with Dad. If care is 50:50 and court ordered, dates like birthdays, christmas, easter, mothers/father's day can and should also be in the court order and evenly split.

"Dad pays for everything" What does this mean? But, again, context is everything. Is dad paying maintenance? Or paying for clothes, presents, tech, uniform, hobbies? Is mum really not paying at all?

Why is ex's feelings so anti dad? Most people aren't wild about their ex but unless things were very bad, there's usually an ability to be in the same place, at the same time, when necessary.

This is alls ounding vey much like, "my ex took me to the cleaners" without a shred of actual proof and the new woman laps it up.

If there are no added contextual factors to this, then yes, of course it's unfair.

He is making the choice to prioritise his ex's feelings over being there for his son. That's his decision to make. If he didn't want to do that he could just not do that.

What's the milestone?
What's the age?
Who organised the event?

If it's something like taking their first steps, it's just chance which parent was there.

Birthday party - I'm sure most kids would love to celebrate twice

Wedding / graduation / exams - child is old enough to invite Dad if they want.

We need some context.

Very strange post!

Normaly 50/50 goes by time. And, if parents can’t be amicable enough to share key events, it is sad. In that case, the parent whose time it falls within would get the ‘milestone’ event.

OP, you need to give a lot more details. The child’s father needs to fight for his rights, in court if necessary.

Need more details.

Sometimes mum and dad can’t be in the same room and it’s best for everyone that they don’t.

Often one parent always does the organising of parties to celebrate special events when the other parent could also do the same. For example if the event is an 18th, dad and mum could organise separate events with their sides of the family and their Ds’ friends. I think dads are often “sidelined” because they cba to organise a celebration and see it as a woman’s job and that he can just make an appearance.

If the split isn’t friendly then it’s weird if the other parent turned up to parties only.

I think it happens in families where the parents are together too. If there's one ticket for something it will typically be mum who goes. I think its more a reflection of a closer bond forged between mother and child due to women typically doing more of the care from birth onwards than something we should feel sad about on men's behalf. There is nothing stopping any father establishing himself as equal parent from the get go. Many don't. And here we are.

It's not untrue that many mums play the "priority to mum" card, for no reason at all.

Is this a spin off thread from the graduation one posted recently?
Still too vague.

Still don't know what this post is actually about. Be specific

Depends who organised the event. If mum throws a party for DS, she gets a say in who’s invited.
If Dad throws a party, his choice.

When it’s graduation and 3 tickets, the graduate gets to choose.

Wrong. It should be about what their child wants. Not what his ex wants.

I am sure your partner has told his ex this?

Is expected by who? He can choose to attend if he wants. (Obviously unless it's in the mothers home, or an event she organised)

Don't understand the post. Far to vague.

You need to give more info. But if she’s doing the “lion’s share” of the parenting time, then it will just follow that she’d get lion’s share of other things because she’s literally just around the child more.

'in the protection of'

What does that mean? And what is the milestone?

Protection meaning you have felt as though his mum would be upset if your partner were to share in the milestone?

Achievements and milestones should be celebrated equally.

I hope your partner can find their own way to celebrate this with his child.