To think people should say “fuck tradition” when planning their wedding?

As a disclaimer, I planned my wedding but never had it because of Covid. But while I would have agreed with this beforehand, what I learnt while doing the planning was that there are some aspects that are traditional because they just work better for a large mass-catered event. So yes, wear whatever you like, pie instead of cake etc. But the logistics of Chinese takeaway would most likely not work well when scaled up unless you planned it very carefully and were able to find a caterer who could handle the numbers and timing. We learnt this when discussing what we thought we wanted with a very savvy caterer who basically just set out what the timing and the order of things needed to be, where we could deviate from the norm, and where we really couldn't.

Totally agree. We’re getting married next year, second marriage for both of us and we plan on doing it exactly as we want.

We’re having a BBQ rather than a sit down meal and we’re not planning on speeches because it will be impossible for DP to relax until that bits over and we both want him to be present and relaxed for the ceremony

Totally agree with you!
In any case , I think the "traditional" white wedding and sit-down reception model is increasingly becoming financially unsustainable. With the prices of food, clothes, booze etc going up so much in the past 5 years I genuinely don't know how people are managing it. Bring on alternative weddings! And low-key ones too...

Have you ever watched the programme "Marrying Mum and Dad" on CBBC?
It's several years old now so probably isn't on any more but basically it has children planning the wedding for their parents.
It's brilliant. So much more fun than the "traditional" type.
The only thing required for being married is the legal bit (licence, witnesses, registrar, a couple of sentences you have to say out loud...) the rest you can do what ever you want.

Well yes, if it feels good for them. Bear in mind a lot of people really do want the tradition too, but it is sad when people feel compelled by it when they don't really want to.

A number of times I have told people I know who are all 'Ugh, but I don't want to do the big white dress thing, it's not me' that they don't have to do it. Wear a pinstripe trouser suit if you want! I never thought much about a wedding before I met my DH but the one thing I did know was that I wanted to wear a coloured dress and I did - not full length either because a university ball experience demonstrated that I just did not know how to move in full-length formal. I wanted to be 'me getting married', not 'not dressed as a bride'. Of course most women look just great in trad bridal and want to do it, it just wasn't for me. Have never regretted it.

I suspect a lot of traditional expectations are dying out now, though - you're probably much less likely these days to encounter people disappointed if you don't wear white or have a tiered fruit cake or haven't invited the whole universe - especially if the couple themselves is paying.