DD moved in with Ex full time, now her schedule seems dangerous

This!!! Maybe this is why she is with ex full time and not you

I honestly don't understand what you're problem is. You're clearly just a non-sporty person who doesn't 'get' what she gets out of this (just as some sporty people can't understand people who don't enjoy it).

What she is doing is so much more healthy, both physically and socially, than what most 12 year old are doing (and I'm not even sporty myself). I loved the pleasure and the skills that my eldest got from it during her childhood/teens, and was really proud of her. Now that she's in her late 30s and in a very stressful job, playing her favourite team sport every week (plus training) really helps her to de-stress.

I don't think there's any health risk at all in doing lots of physical activity, especially as it's so varied.

Is your concern due to you only seeing her every second weekend, so you're fixing your anxiety on the wrong thing? So instead of being anxious and sad that you're not having time with your daughter, you're focusing on the amount of sport she's doing.

It sounds like you could also be feeling excluded as sport is a her and her Dad thing, and it doesn't sound like you have raised it with him - my ex's view was that when my DS was with him (every second weekend) he was the parent and would make all decisions, perhaps your ex is similar.

Her school may be sporty, but she's not looking to specialise or become a pro, so she doesn't have to go there, why not go to a school that's local to you?

She can still do lots of sport, still do sports science at college - though in a more academic school she might get the grades have to have wider choices eg physio, medicine, biomechanical engineering etc.

this

not sure why you think its dangerous?

I think it's great that her interests are supported my her dad.

DH and I are the same with our children and facilitate and support their interests the best we can.

It would be different if she was being dragged out the door against her will or if she wasn't getting her homework done etc.

I listened to a podcast not so long ago that had Helen Glover on and, if I remember correctly, she did loads of different sports not necessarily seriously but in decent amounts before starting rowing and her and her coaches reckoned that was what made her as an athlete in the end.

If she enjoys it, is getting her school work done and has not asked to stop, leave her be.
Could it be you don't want her doing it as it takes time away she could be spending with you? That would be understandable.

Busy yes, could even call overwhelming (doesnt sound like it is for your dd) but dangerous?

I would be led by your dd, if she wants to stop and dad not allowing it then there is an issue. If they are expecting you to do more lifts than you csn manage speak up. Otherwise leave it be.

I did similar at that age, I think we forget as we get older, quite how much more energy young people have!

I used to go to the gym before school 2 mornings a week, basketball or netball most lunchtimes and 2/3 days after school for training or matches, trampolining after school. Weekends would be either matches or I’d go swimming, play tennis or go for bike rides. Still found time for homework/ friends, etc.

Being a sporty teen keeps you out of trouble! It also builds good habits for when you’re an adult.

That's only 6 sessions if I've counted correctly. 12 year old swimmers will often do 9 x 2hr training sessions a week with some days having both before and after school sessions. Then there will be S&C and swim meets on top. I don't think it sounds too much if she enjoys it and her school work isn't suffering then why not.

The NHS recommends everyone under the age of 18 years old do at least 1 hour of exercise a day. There is nothing worrying about the amount of exercise she is doing.

So many young girls have no hobbies and spend a lot of time on their phone hones and social media. Your daughter is being active but doesn’t seem excessive to me. Sounds like she loves the social contact. She is exercising and meeting people. What is there to moan about?

I don't understand at all why this would bother you?

Especially not why it would be fine with you if she were competing - why would the danger element be fine then but isn't now?

Some people are just like this. My boss is late 40s and has a similar schedule - yesterday she did a 10 k run, cycled 5 miles to the office, and was muttering about hitting the gym afterwards

This was my first thought too. OP, has your dd started her period? Is she underweight? Too much exercise and not eating enough for a very active lifestyle could result in losing your periods or not starting at all.

“Especially as she doesn’t want to compete …”

what a strange reason to prevent a child having fun, doing physical activities , making differnt friends and building a healthy lifestyle

its too much if her grades drop , if she decides to give something up

I think the only thing that matters is if she enjoys it and wants to do it. I dont believe in forcing kids to do extra curricular activities that they dont want to do but if shes happy with it then great!
My daughter is the same and does absolutely nothing. Neither do her friends. She used to do kick boxing, brownies etc but that's all fell away now. I'd much rather her do things like your child

My DD does 2.5 hours gymnastics x 4 nights a week plus 4 hours at the weekend. I’m just glad she’s not sitting in her room staring at a screen (although she seems to find plenty of time for that too). It’s going to be a challenge when she starts GCSEs though.

i think girls doing sports is brilliant as so many give up sports as teens.

It sounds fine to me. Lucky girl having all these activities.

The only reservation I’d have is that I’d want to be sure her diet is good, balanced and healthy, so she’s not in a calorie deficit, so important to keep her strength up.

YABU. Sport every day is very healthy and protective of your DD’s body into old age.

Her schedule sounds busy but hardly “insane”. What would you prefer her to do - scroll on social media all day?

Your comment about time wasting if it’s not competitive is a huge red flag. Aside from that, it does seem like she has a huge amount of energy that she needs to burn off and is doing so in a healthy way.