Another childcare rant - how do people do it?!

I've not read the whole thread but whenever a ludicrous post crops up i just assume they are a troll trying to wind people up.

What's the point in posting something full of criticism and judgement but then don't offer constructive advice??

Waste of time for everyone.

I just assume internet troll to stir the pot because there is no other explanation. No friend of mine would speak to me like that, if they did then they certainly wouldn't be my friend for much longer.

No Grandparent help here, my job cannot be done from home, DH is 95% of the time not WFH. I moved closer to home job wise so reduced the commute time. Used a Childminder for first few years in Primary, then switched to after school club.

Is it easy? - not in the slightest.

Can you find out more what the volunteering would involve, everyone thinks they are to busy to do it, but you may find if you get involved you can change how it is run, less meetings, more suitable times for meetings may mean more parents can volunteer. Our PTA only ever held meetings at 930 am - and wondered why so few helped, new committee changed the meeting times got more on board.

Working full time with a family doesn't mean you can't volunteer, it is possible, it just needs a bit of looking at how you can make it work.

It was a constant juggle tbh.

Both parents making flexible working requests to work around each other, plus an excellent childminder, plus help from gps, plus swapping childcare favours with other parents.

It wasn't much fun and I sympathise with anyone currently going through it.

Another unhelpful post in this thread.

Gosh you're all out in force today.

Please provide OP with constructive help rather than ridiculous advice like moving country. Honestly some people are ridiculous. Say those words to a struggling friend and see how well that goes down.

Trust me, you'll be off the christmas card list for good.

The trolls are out in force today

Course I know it because we spent the whole two years before primary school admissions on a rollercoaster of trying to sell, buy, rent, move somewhere with the kind of school and childcare options that would see us through. It wasn't easy AT ALL and we lost a lot of time and money we couldn't afford on places that fell through - was ready to move when burst waterpipes meant the rental place was withdrawn and we had to start over. However, we pushed on and found somewhere. Not my dream spot by any means but somewhere with more than one tiny school with voluntary afterschool care, because that would've felt way too risky without any other options around like relatives or childminders etc.

Partly what woke me up to the need to plan like this was Mumsnet itself and threads like this and the schools threads where parents are in a major mess because they choose to live remotely and don't drive and can't get their kids to school along unlit, pavement-less, bus-free country roads and so on, and somehow it's everyone else's problem to solve. Very few people can't move at all and often people no relatives nearby have chosen to live in a small village to raise their DC in that 'idyll' rather than having grown up there or being tied to it by caring for elders or somesuch. So yes, I'm guessing that the OP could move if it was really a priority.

I have friends who moved to small villages when their DC were little and I considered it then but even the fact that they were 30+ miles from the nearest hospital was enough to put me off because most kids have accidents at some point so that's a factor. Availability of childcare is also a factor, and the set-up described is minimal. It's not flippant or dismissive when it's the actual reason.

I think your answer is in your post.
the after school club is run by volunteers.
you want them to work for free while you go out to earn money.
or you want the government to pay for it.

If You don’t think the government in this country isn’t doing enough then please feel free to move to another country.

It is really difficult OP. We are lucky that ASC at our school is very good. If it was to suddenly close we’d be screwed as there are 2 childminders left in our town who are both retiring this year. It’s not a university town so no real option of au pairs or anything like that. Really, one of us would have to significantly reduce or quit work. As we are both in skilled, pretty well paid, patient facing NHS roles it would be so short sighted for society for people like us to suddenly start quitting because the school day finishes at 3. Not to mention the reduction in taxes we pay. I wish we had the flexibility to just alternate our shifts like PPs on here seem to think is so easy, pretty sure the rota coordinators would have something to say about that 🙄

And you can plan all you want but things can happen. Friends of ours recently lost their childminder to a sudden diagnosis of metastatic cancer. She literally had to quit overnight. They are cobbling stuff together with grandparents until a nursery space is available. It’s horrendous for them.

What a nasty piece of work you are 'just trying to be me' well please don't because quite frankly you trying to be you is a dreg on our society. Please try to be someone better for all of our sakes.

Back to your point.

OP had childcare. This was planned out accordingly and she thought long and hard about this, putting them in the most appropriate school to address her needs. Since joining the school, a scenario out of her control has meant the school care provision may be no longer available in future. .

Maybe there is a possibility for one or both parents to change jobs in the future but you must understand that is not that easy especially since we're in the worst job market since the last recession. Often flexible working is made available for workers who have been long standing in their role and that's assuming their career is something not client focussed where they work outside of the home.

It is always easy to be flippant behind a screen when the situation doesn't concern you personally. Of course children are more than just the parents responsibility, without children the workers of the future reduce to keep cogs moving and help fund state pensions! The dropping birth rate indicates the limited amount of help working parents get!

We're human with feelings, have some compassion and regard.

I say all this as someone without a school age child.

It will be a volenteer committe with paid staff.
It effectively means a not for profit, charitable organisation. Ours means 4 meetings a year, but we also have paid accountants, who also operate an HR service.

But if the paid manager was to quit it would mean the committee trying to find a replacement - so keep the manager happy!

We have a 4 year old in reception and a 1 year old in nursery. My partner and I work flexibly, a mixture of wfh, office based and reduced/flexible hours. I don't work on Mondays and Tuesdays, 1 year old is home with me on those days. I do drop offs and pick ups for my 4 old on those days. We alternate our wfh days, partner wfh on Wednesday and Fridays, I wfh Thursdays. I'm in the office Wednesdays and Fridays, he is in the office Tuesdays and Thursdays. Whoever is in the office does drop offs in the mornings but doesn't do pick ups. This allows the person wfh to start earlier and do pick up for 3:15. It's not an exact science at the moment and it's bloody exhausting but we communicate when we have a meeting that can't be shifted or when we have to stay in the office late. We do also use our mums sometimes for the school pick ups and they'll sit at our house for a few hours while we finish up with work. We're also both really lucky our employers are very work life balance friendly so that's a massive help, as long as the work gets done they're happy for us to work flexibly around childcare. My stress levels on the other hand are at 100, always thinking about where I need to be and if I've forgotten something and we both find ourselves having to work after the kids bedtime.

We had a lovely childminder who started looking after DD when she was 1 and told us from the start she didn’t do wraparound/ school runs.

By the time DD was ready to start school the CM was very attached to her and agreed to do the after school pick up as long as long as DD attended the school a few mins from her house. Luckily DD got into that school😅

The early years juggling childcare in this country can be an absolute nightmare. Mine are 10 and 12 now and our childminder was only marginally cheaper than a nursery (but worth every penny) so I remember those expensive years. People are very blasé with their “just move to an area with more childcare” advice. It is NOT that simple!

It’s a preschool that does after school care as well. They are often charities and will need trustees for the board.

Out of a five day week I dropped to four days, WFH on one but take my lunch at school pick up time, and then my wonderful DM/MIL do pick up the other three days and feed them/keep them until we finish work. Very very lucky to have this set up.

Alternative would be paid childminder or after school club, ours is an outsourced company and charges the going rate so there is little risk of that being closed.

Agree that the lack of support for working families is disappointing. So many people either rely on the goodwill of family members, employer flexibility, and the availability of reliable good quality childcare in order to work earn a decent living.

Do they mean volenteers for the committe?
Which really means parents to keep the charitable status. At which point why not join the committee?

I've never heard of an after school club that requires parent volunteers. Is it to keep the cost down? Could you suggest raising the cost of the club and not using volunteers if that means it can stay open?

Our village school has no after school care. There are no childminders picking up from the school. Our kids get the school bus home as we’re not walking distance, and luckily we are able to work from home so nip out to meet the bus and then continue working. However, I know other parents who don’t work from home who have had to find a part time nanny. Try local Facebook groups, Nextdoor, or even childcare.co.uk. There are sometimes retired people or students, shift workers etc who would be happy to do a couple of hours after school. Or put a post on the school page? Perhaps another parent or one of the LSAs would be interested? You have my sympathy though, it’s a complete pain. BTW, don’t get dragged into the wrap around care committee unless you know what you are getting involved in. It sounds like they are a charity and need trustees - which is fair, but being a trustee does come with legal obligations. Which should not be taken lightly or stumbled into when you are employing staff and caring for children.

Me and my ex are both self employed so we can do the school runs, I admire parents who can't do that and have to juggle after school clubs, child minders, changing jobs/shifts etc. I don't know how a lot of people do it!

Surely you could take a half day annual leave to volunteer? I know you can't commit to every week but you could do other things, ask other parents to do the odd day.

@CheeseIsMyIdol A parent might be able to pick a school with an afterschool club and several local childminders -

But if the club closes (a) everyone will then be looking for a childminder space and there won't be enough and (b) there wouldn't be a number of local childminders on top of the ASC if there wasn't the demand for both, AKA the childminders will probably be full already with other children (eg those whose parents decided on a home setting rather than ASC, who did full time care with the CM before school years and then stayed on for after school care, whose parents couldn't get a space in the ASC etc)

@JustTryingToBeMe bit harsh of a reply. It is in the governments interest to help mainly women back into work as they then contribute to taxes for the country. With the aging population they need more people putting money in the pot.

This isn’t what the OP asked, she asked how do people juggle it all. Asking for advice or workarounds, not judgment telling her to find another job in what is a horrible
job market right now. Or that they are failing as parents as they don’t always have a one parent available when needed, way to pile on the parent guilt.

Most families nowdays more than ever before need two working parents to be able to survive. The phase we are expect as women to work like we don’t have kids and parent like we don’t work comes to mind. A bit of compassion can go a long way?

@SMLSMLcheck what the after school club needs in way of volunteering- it sounds like it is run as not for profit, which means while the staff are paid, they need volunteers to run the charity board. How much time do they require? Would you or your DP be able to go on the board for a couple of years to keep it ticking over? It would probably be some evening meetings. It might be helpful for your cvs to have been on a charity’s board.

this is the model lots of preschools are run with. Then generally every 4 years or so they have a crisis as the parents who joined the board to keep it going for their dc have all their kids at school so resign with a “it doesn’t matter now if it closes.”

Otherwise ask the school if they have invited private companies not charities to run the after school club. Check the council doesn’t have anyone new listed as a childminder covering this school.

After school club, actual clubs, childminder and my mum is what I patched together and I worked part time!

Very well said, @crossedlines

Will you get an MBE for your perfection do you think?